"Hanged Man" as "Who"?

SunChariot said:

meginmd, you are using the Law of Attraction. We cannot not use it. It is a law of how the universe and life work. It doesn't go away just because you don't think of it.

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Exactly! It's not a law like 'don't run red lights' - it's a Law, like the Law of Gravity.

It can certainly be used consciously to gain more control over your own life (and really - isn't it handy to know that when you let go of something it will fall to the floor and not spin off in some random direction?), but even if it you don't understand it, or ever try to use it consciously, it still operates in your life.

All the negative comments.. all the beliefs that it is somehow your destiny to be alone.. even the (odd, in my own philosophy) view that who you are today is set in stone and is who you will be a year from now or a decade from now... these are the things you are attracting to yourself.

If you set your truth as "I will be alone" - you will be alone because those who might want to be there with you will be turned away.

If you set your truth as "no one can love me unless I change everything about myself" you will attract people to you who do not see the loveable perfection of who YOU are... and you won't let those who could appreciate it in close enough to find it.

If you set your truth as "they have to love everything about who I am now because I am not going to change"... you are attracting a future of stagnation and lack of growth, and honestly that sounds like hell to me.

Back to that Hanged man and repeating myself... sacrifice the security blankets of these beliefs. Let yourself strip down to the skin without all these unhelpful attitudes (and I think that is hard because they *have* been helpful to you in avoiding the risk of living a fearless intimate life) and just see what's what without their filters. Try replacing them with positive affirmations instead and see what comes to you.

You will be ammmaaaaaaazeeeeeed.

I don't understand how there can be anybody in my life that might want to be with me.
The only guys I know are in my class at night and I'm pretty sure that none of them are looking at me.

Nice one, Gypsy!

Gypsyspell said:

Hi Ya, thought i would also stick my oar in! not that there has'nt been enough help already..Anyway i dont think your fears and insecurities are so unique, i look at what happens when i go out and see how much alcohol induced dutch courage is needed before people will ask each other to dance or chat.
Relationships are alot of hard work ,and the danger is people (SEEM TO ME) to have very high expectations of 'that perfect person ' soul mate' and also take one another for granted.
I think Hang in there!
He may be hiding under a rock somewhere afraid to disappoint you!
When you come out of your shell you may see a pair of eyes!
Just my convoluted take on things-if it helps!!

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I like this! Nicely said. And you're absolutely right. Everyone is afraid of everyone else in one way or another. It takes a lot to get your courage up and go out there, best foot forward. That old saying comes to mind about kissing a lot of toads before you find a prince. You've got to have the courage and perseverance to kiss the toads. And, given the original story of the frog prince, the wisdom and insight to recognize that prince when you find him, even if he looks like all the other toads you've been kissing.

meginmd said:

I don't understand how there can be anybody in my life that might want to be with me. The only guys I know are in my class at night and I'm pretty sure that none of them are looking at me.

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Maybe they are, maybe they're not. Maybe they're all looking at you till you look at them then they look away. But why are those the only guys in your life? Why not seek out other places where there are other guys? Why not go to a tarot club or other place of spiritual interest to you (very Hanged Man, that)? Why not get on forums (like this one) where you have interests to share with a guy?

Maybe you're all ready being "looked" at by a lot of on-line gents. See? Different perspective.

Now, of course, it might well be that those guys don't want to be with you right now because you haven't let them get to know you. But they might want to be with you if you let them get to know you, and let them know that you're interested in getting to know them. What, after all if they're thinking the exact same thing about you? "I don't see how anybody in my life would be interested in me--the only girl I know, megin, never looks my way."

Look. We're not saying anything is guaranteed or absolutely will happen. We're tarot card readers. Not cupids or magicians. All we can do is tell you what we see in the cards, and what we know from our own experiences. We all know women who had really rotten experiences with guys--men who beat them, or cheated on them, or sponged off them, or got drunk, or left them. And these women we know did not give up. They kept on trying. And they found someone who became their partner in life. The one they love and rely on and who loves and relies on them.

Is your story as bad as theirs? How many toads have you kissed? We don't know if you'll find that prince. All we know is that if you don't go out, bravely and with "I'm worth it!" in your heart, then it certainly won't happen. You've got to put something good out there to get something, anything back. And you've got to be willing to take the rough with the smooth, and try, try again if it's anything that's worth having.

That's not just love, that's life. You live it...or you waste it.

meginmd said:

I don't understand how there can be anybody in my life that might want to be with me.
The only guys I know are in my class at night and I'm pretty sure that none of them are looking at me.

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Maybe you know them now but they will only really notice you later. And/or maybe if you were feeling all optimistic and positive and sure that what you wanted would happen, you'd feel happier inside and naturally be more smiley and talkative and that would be when they would really take notice. Of course when we keep to ourselves more, then people notice us less,

Babs

I don't know what to say to that.
I've wasted it so far.

You don't have to know what to say, it's just things to think about.

It's not the end of the world. We all do things sometimes out of fear that are not in our own best interests. It's just to notice it and then to try and work to turn it around.

Babs

I've tried to turn it around for 6 years so far.
Just had setbacks and disappointments.
I don't know when I said "Forget it" and stopped trying and the mindset of "Who would ever be stupid and/or desperate enough to even LOOK in my direction?" took over.

May I make a small suggestion - as a step to altering focus and seeing things from a different perspective, see if you can use Tarot and do some positive readings to discover what is lovable about you... what you should appreciate about yourself, what your strengths are.. That is, build into the reading *positive* qualities and questions to break the cycle of negative focus.

It just sounds like before you think about who else might find something to love n you, you have to discover what you love about yourself. Start a love affair with yourself.

and from a Tarot perspective, forcing yourself to read out side of your comfort zone - in your case, forcing a focus on the positive - is a lovely way to stretch your Tarot wings and see the cards in a new light.

Well, meginmd, that mindset is not going to create happiness for you, and the goal of life is to be happy. Furthermore it is untrue. We are all, each and every one of us, amazing and beautiful miraculous beings. When you really stop to see it all that and to not take it for granted, it really is a miraculous thing to be a human. A machine that last decades with no need for repair, that can last 80 years or more...that can repair itself...that is affected by the Moon, that can love, understand, show kindness and caring, and taht is connected to all around it...that can feel both physically and emotionally...that can plan and actually create with its energy.

YOU are a miraculous and magical being, we all are, each of us. AND if you choose to believe in G-d and the angels as I do, I can tell you the absolutely adore you and can see your inner perfection even though you are not seeing it yourself right now.

I don't know you but I can see things others could easily be drawn to. You want underneath to have love, so that means you have something yuo want to give to and share with others. You're a Tarot reader, how fascinating!!! Some men will definitely find you fascinating for that. The man I want to make mine currently now, loves that about me.

You are clearly a sensitive person, and yes that means you have been hurt in the past, but sensitivity is a good and attractive quality. And when you find the one who will not hurt you they will love that in you.

You're clearly intelligent and good at analying things. I could even go on, and all these things are attractive in their own right, but my point at the end of all this is you are not seeing clearly. You have a lot to offer, but you are choosing not to see it for the time being. But that does not mean that it is not there.

Babs