help with spread, re: relationship

Hi guys. How are you all? - I haven't posted much in a while. Just laid out a spread for myself, that I would like some help in interpreting. It seems to me like a pretty serious spread, and I laid it out in what I feel was a "moment of clarity." The problem is - I can interpret it two ways (sheesh, it's that gemini thing again. gets me everytime!) - perhaps because I am so close to the situation? ... so I'd appreciate others' impressions.

The spread is as follows (Celtic Cross):

signifier: Queen of Swords (popped out as I was shuffling the deck, interestingly she is the court card I identify with most)

1 - situation: XVIII. The Moon
2 - cross: Page of Pentacles
3 - basis/subconcious: 6 of Wands
4 - recent past: Knight of Cups
5 - above/conciousness: 8 of Pentacles
6 - near future: King of Pentacles, reversed
7 - self: King of Wands
8 - environment: XV. The Devil
9 - hopes/fears: Knight of Wands, reversed
10 - outcome/advice: V. The Hierophant

Now let me tell you a little bit about the situation. Basically it concerns my relationship, which I question letting go off periodically.... you see, I love this person, but I keep coming back to the question, do I really want to be with him? I do not believe he is my "soulmate" (if you believe in these things, I don't really, but I think this is a useful label for someone you have a "soul deep" connection with on EVERY level.) And, yes, this situation involves issues over sex.

... I do not mean this in a flighty way... I believe this is tied somehow to a past life thing - not my relationship, but this feeling that haunts me... I have been wrestling with this for a while (we've been together a year, we live together, and the way things are going, marriage would be in the future.)

As I said, I can interpret this spread in two opposing ways. In one way, I am ignoring a beautiful love for hedonism. In the other way, I am facing a truth about a situation that may be more comfortable than divine.

okay, well now that I've spilled my guts, I will leave this spread open to interpretation... (could I not, with the Hierophant as the last card?)

oops, technical difficulties.

joya,

I know I'm not one of your favorite people, but I find this reading intriguing, so I figured I'd post a repsonse...

My sense here is that your friend is maybe sexually immature in some ways, perhaps a little selfishness or a lack of attention to your needs. Otherwise, things are pretty good between you. But it's causing you to see things in a less appealing light than you're probably comfortable with. You might even be comparing him to an old flame, the good old dependable Knight of Cups.

Interesting combination of the Page of Pentacles as a cross and the King as the near future.... reversed... so perhaps this is a failed attempt to find a replacement for him with someone who is more what you are looking for? That sounds a bit harsh, so perhaps it's more like a false alarm.. getting your hopes up over someone who comes into the picture, but being let down.

Another interesting combination with the Knight and King of Wands... the King in the self position gives me another clue as to you being the more mature one in this relationship, but it also gives a hint as to the hopes/fears card with the Knight of Wands... have you had people fall in love with you too fast in the past and are you fearing that you'll have to deal with that if you begin searching for a new Mr. Right I definitely see you craving some maturity in a relationship.

As for the outcome, I think in this case, the Outcome card is calling on the Consciousness card to give you a message... you can probably turn this relationship into a better one if you are willing to take on the role of teacher and leader here and if you commit yourself to working to fix this current relationship... but it will be a lot of work. It has to be a true labor of love, otherwise you will never be satisfied.

good morning Mojo,

I have nothing anything against you! I apologize if you think I do. I enjoy reading your postings - however contorversal they may be, they are most often insightful.

thank you for your interpretation. you were correct about a few things, mainly with all my relationships, the person tends to fall in love with me too fast. It seems I've been "the one" for several people, and I, although loving them, did not feel the same depth of emotion and had to break it off. I also do agree with you that perhaps my partner is sexually immature, not selfish, but perhaps not in-tune to the power or intensity of everything sex (can) incorporate.
.... about the Knight of Cups... unfortunately, I do not think he is referring to a past boyfriend, since I am not regretting or pining for any lost loves. I saw him as representing my current boyfriend, who wears his heart on his sleeve. ... and regarding the reversed King of Pentacles.... well, I am not looking for a "replacement" or waiting for something better... because I do not feel the need to jump from one relationship to another, and if I were going to end things, I would do it for my own reasons, and not simply because I had found another "victim"..... (Unless, of course, this ties into a past life thing.... and the Knight of Cups is a really distant memory of a connection, and perhaps subconsciously I am searching for that level of "perfection.")

And the outcome as the Heriophant is intriguing, because (like the whole spread) I can read it in two different ways. He could be telling me that if I truely listen to Myself, I will find the answer, (which if I'm asking this question, don't I already know?) Or, he could be telling me to remain in the "convention" of this relationship. Ahhh, or he could be telling me that I will encounter some spiritual guidence about the matter..... I liked your interpretation of this card too and it gave me some hope that I don't have to abandon yet another relationship....

whew. that all said, I welcome any additional interpretations of this spread. thanks!

Okie dokie, I know I don't post that much on here, but I thought I would give your reading a shot. The six of wands was the main card that struck me. I think you might be expecting too much out of him. Do you want him to be that Knight on the horse that is victorious in all he does? A lot of times when we go into a relationship with big expectations we end up getting disappointed. I think your cards are telling you that maybe you shoudl try working with him..that is if you care about him a lot. I don't have much experience with long term realtionships but I know that they don't jsut happen. They require work. So try working with him a bit..if he won't budge then forget him. WHy waste your time on someone who isn't willing to go that extra mile for you?

I did 3 additional cards for your realtionship and I got the Queen of Hearts, The Wheel of Fortune, and The Queen of Pentacles. So maybe with some empathy and sympathy you can turn things around. I hope this helped you with your question.

Hi Destinyawaits,

thank you for your input. I appreciate it, and it's just what I needed to hear. Also your additional draw of the Queens and the Wheel was reassuring. I am feeling more settled after a few days, and laid out a follow up celtic cross spread. It was right on target (go tarot go!) and I pulled 3 cards for the Outcome. They were the 9 of Pentacles, the 5 of Wands, and The Moon. I took it to mean that things were temporarily settled and I would go on to enjoy the wealth of material luxery that surrounds me (a loving man, beautiful apartment, good health, cute kitties! etc.) though I have to be careful not to let myself slip into complacency. (as a gemini, I get restless) I also took the 5 of Wands inbetween the Moon and the woman on the 9 of Pentacles as a warning that I will continue to combat these feelings of escape and dreaminess, as well as good old feminine mood swings.

Anyway, I think I'm gonna get by - with a little help from my friends. Thank you guys.

in peace, Joya