The Questions We Ask

gregory said:

I'm with both these. "Does he love me" gets the sitter nowhere.

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I agree, but that is what the clients ask. All. the. time.

I like what does the querent need to hear?

When asked for a general reading--even a very fast one--I lay out the 12 card horoscope spread and pick the one thing that glares out the brightest. That is usually where their crisis is.

Barb

nisaba said:

What does the person in front of me need to hear. It's pretty standard - almost my exclusive question <grin>.

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I do like that. Very much. It solves the whole dilemma.

Ace said:

I agree, but that is what the clients ask. All. the. time.

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I know. And all I say to them is "whether he does or not, you can't change that except by changing yourself; what we need to ask is how can I show myself to him in my best light" or something - I'd need a context to get it exactly...

BeyondtheVeil said:

I read on all questions. If the person asks a question, even third party, I ask the cards. If Spirit didn't want it known...it wouldn't be known.

When you ask...What is X doing when they are not with me? Then find out they have another woman/man on the side or married. They can then 'act" on what to do next. Then it usually gets asks..What should I do about it? Or how do I confront them?

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Most questions aren't about self discovery, but about LOVE. How does he/she feel about me? Where is our relationship heading? Why did he/she break up with me? When will X contact me? Why hasn't X contacted me? Who told X that I didn't like them? When will I meet someone new? Who is the other woman/man? Why are they after my man/woman? ETC.

I ask about anything I am wanting to know. That is the point of Tarot/Psychic/etc. To 'tell the future" or to help understand something that you don't know. Or don't understand.I It has personally helped me with understanding someone else's feelings then I wasn't so upset/etc. The way that you would have phrased it would have focused on me, but how does that help me understand their point of view? It tells me what I should do, but gives no understand of why/what's going on with the other person, etc.

My point is that all readers can decide how they want to read, but should be aware of what others actually want to know as opposed to what the reader wants to tell them. It's okay to want to read a certain way, but know that most people coming to a reader/reading are not wanting that info. They want to know about what they are curious/worried about.

Of course, this is my experience and what I do. Others may vary. It is very important though to understand that if the message wasn't meant to get through..it won't. My experience.

I have rephrased questions, but not to get it off the third person. To help me focus more on the question. The more specific the question, the clearer the answer.

Hope this helps!
BeyondtheVeil

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I've put in bold letters the points in this post I especially share. As Beyondtheveil says, it's up to each reader what they want to do and/or what they specialize in, but I read the old-fashioned way.

I have a book by Janina Renee that's called Tarot: Your Everyday Guide that's excellent. Those who choose to just read in an advice mode might want to check it out. Just thought I'd throw that in there.

I often use vague questions and let the cards fill me in "tell me about X's situation", or I just sort of focus on the person or situation and don't even formulate a specific question.

Good discussion thread, as I have also been reading with some curiosity at some of the questions being asked upon my recent return to AT.

I am personally not a fan of 3rd party readings, particularly the "how does x person feel about me", or "what does x person think about me" - and have given this some thought the last day or so, as to why that is ...

A small part of this is perhaps a privacy issue for 3rd parties - but it is really more about that I feel asking these types of questions - the querent (or yourself) are giving away some of your "power" in a situation to focus on what a 3rd party thinks or feels - and not focussing on what a querent (or yourself) thinks or feels - and potentially needs to be aware of in regards to a situation, circumstance or events (past, present or future).

As I have found that dealing with "situations" in life is rarely just about how one person feels or thinks (professionally or personally) - it is far more complex than that. It is also hard enough to understand how or why yourself may think or feel about things at any given moment in time, let alone how a 3rd party is without taking into consideration all other aspects of a situation - internally and externally.

So changing the focus of questions to be more about how, why, what does the querent (or yourself) need to know, be aware of, consider etc about a situation, (retrospective or predictive) - I have found to be more effective and useful for a querent to think about or make decisions in our constant changing landscape of life.

I guess this is where everyone's individual style or reading comes into play - and that is often based on their own paradigms or life experiences - and honestly may be it is just an age thing as well (for me) ! lol - as the older I get the more I realise and am less concerned about what other people think or feel about me - and it is more about how the querent (or myself) feel or think about life's challenges and changes ... and how best they may navigate these.

cheers
CF

What a great post, CF. And it's wonderful to see you back; you have no idea the influence you and your deck have had on me. I never thought about the abrogation of power like that before, but you are so right. It ties in with my own gut feeling that the sitter loses out by the reader even trying to answer such a question.

gregory said:

What a great post, CF. And it's wonderful to see you back; you have no idea the influence you and your deck have had on me. I never thought about the abrogation of power like that before, but you are so right. It ties in with my own gut feeling that the sitter loses out by the reader even trying to answer such a question.

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Thank you, gregory, for your kind words - and am enjoying being back. I am glad that my post made sense to someone else.

And you also raise a good point - about going with your gut feeling! (or intuition) - as I find this is important not only in doing the reading itself, but also in framing the question in the best way to gain the most clarity - as have often found that the question the querant is asking is not necessarily what they really want or need to know, but they may be unsure or unaware themselves.

Then ultimately if the cards are meant to reveal more, then they will - or they will not, at that point in time.

CF

CF, you summarized my opinion in much more graceful words than I could figure out.

Barleywine said:

Usually questions starting with "What, Why or How," occasionally "Who" or "When" and very rarely "Where." I try to stay away from those starting with "Will, Does, Can" and anything else requiring a "yes-or-no" answer. I don't deal with questions involving what someone "thinks" or "feels" about someone else. But with face-to-face readings for others, I avoid the problem by not asking to know the question in advance. They can ask whatever they want silently to the cards as they shuffle, and I translate what comes out of the draw.

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I'm not so sure being unaware of the question changes the fact it's a third party reading.