Tarotphobia: How do we feel about it, what do we do about it

That is very true. And if I had a phobia of dogs and there I was sitting on a park bench and someone walked by with their dog, I would in fact know that they had the right to be there and that most people do not feel as I do about dogs and that I am reacting to somethign traumatic in my past, that I need to work through and heal. Absolutely.

But also for some people there feelings about Tarot are also related to their moral values and their images of right and wrong. For those who feel it is wrong somehow to read or even morally wrong, and there are some, they are not as likely to see it as something wrong wtih them as something wrong with the other.

Also there are clearly more dog lovers than those who fear dogs. So it helps you to understand that it's not normal to feel that way. But there are likely more non-readers than there are readers so maybe they don't have that sense as much. And also there is a lot of ignorance in the general public about the nature of what we do. And the media (movies...) and even the church often spread a negative view of it. All that some people know about it is what they have heard from these sources and they believe it. A fear of dogs comes from inside yourself, but some peoples mistrust of Tarot comes from what they have heard from what they personally consider to be reliable sources. So maybe sometimes the people who are so against it may not know their viewpoint is not reality.

Babs

SunChariot said:

So maybe sometimes the people who are so against it may not know their viewpoint is not reality.

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That is an explanation, but is it an exuse? Once we reach the age of studying and thinking for ourselves, we can educate ourselves about tarot, especially if someone we care for is interested in it.

Fudugazi said:

Once we reach the age of studying and thinking for ourselves,

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I don't mean to sound flippant here, but I know people of all ages who never get to this point. I think that no one should put up with being ridiculed and/or abused, but there may be no other choice than to let the person go if they can't handle it. And on their side of the argument, they may view a tarotista as the irrational one who is throwing away a real-world relationship for something unimportant.

I'm not sure what can be done about the media portrayals. Even if we were to get some producers/writers with talent & genuine intent, there is no guarantee that the general public would prefer realism over the sensational.

I haven't run into any outright Tarot phobia, and I've been using Tarot for more than 20 years. But I tend to keep it to myself.

I live in a conservative region of California, and the few times I've mentioned it to people I was met with amazement that someone "as smart as you" would believe in something like that. Or they ignored my mention of it altogether -- as if they thought they hadn't heard me right.

I have more recently spoken about it to people in a writers group, and there were some who are religious but not fundamentalist -- fairly liberal Christians -- who seemed to see nothing evil in it. But that was all conversation surrounding fiction that involved Tarot -- not really my own interest in it.

None of the responses I've gotten were fear-based. But I haven't shared it with that many people.

The biggest reason I keep my mouth shut is that in my former workplace, a decidedly conservative and technology-focused environment (lots of engineers), there was a woman who openly talked about things like astrology, for instance offering to do natal charts for coworkers. She was so ridiculed behind her back that although I tried to defend her to others a few times, by mentioning my interest in astrology, I realized well before I developed my love of Tarot that such things just didn't fit in with that workplace culture -- so when I started getting interested in Tarot, I kept my Tarot interests to myself there.

I think that unless you're in a religious-phobic environment, the worst response you're likely to get is a judgmental form of pseudo-skepticism. I call it "pseudo" because a true skeptic reserves judgment until all the facts are known, and these responses I got came from people who knew nothing about astrology but automatically dismiss it as baloney, or at best a form of entertainment, something done for kicks, but naive or silly, a bit like someone professing to believe horror fiction. I would imagine their response to Tarot would be the same -- and possibly tinged with an added disdain of phony fortune-tellers scamming people. That's bad enough, without anyone calling it evil. There were a few religious fundamentalists there too, but I'd already become so hyper-wary of the pseudo-skepticism that I wasn't likely to talk to them about it either.

Now I live in a small town environment with a lot of religious people. Our little local newspaper reports on Bible study groups and has more church listings than job ads. So I guess there might be some around here who would see it as evil and be afraid of Tarot. I haven't tested the waters much. I guess I'm just not that brave.

cardlady22 said:

I don't mean to sound flippant here, but I know people of all ages who never get to this point.

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I don't think your statement is flippant in the least. In fact it describes many people that I know and love. No one can shove enlightenment down another's throat. To think that you can is egotistical IMO. Reminds me of this quote (please replace the word God with the term you understand to reflect such a concept if God falls outside of your comfort zone):

Put into practice - day by day - that as is known. Not some great deed or act, or speech, but line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little, there a little ... Those who walk closer with the Creative Forces should indeed be full of joy, pleasure, peace, and harmony within. For life is a manifestation of God, and the manner of Life one lives is an entity's concept of what the entity would like to have its Creator be. - Edgar Cayce

Essentially you have to live it to 'sell' it to others. And not everyone is shopping, not everyone wants to buy.

I don't really do anything about them, and I feel very sorry for them.....I say "Oh, I'm so sorry you feel that way, would you like to hold my Aquamarine crystal it's good for phobias."

Seafra said:

I don't think your statement is flippant in the least. In fact it describes many people that I know and love. No one can shove enlightenment down another's throat. To think that you can is egotistical IMO. Reminds me of this quote (please replace the word God with the term you understand to reflect such a concept if God falls outside of your comfort zone):

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It isn't a question of shoving enlightenment down people's throat. Have you read Disa's loss? Or SunChariot's? What happens when someone you love rejects you for something that is an important part of your life and tries to make you stop, sometimes even giving you an ultimatum?

If we are to live together as humans, we need to be able to count on respect for and by all. If someone I love disrespects me - either from arch-scepticism or fear - because of my tarot, my wanting to explain tarot and ask them to find out more and educate themselves on the subject before judging, mocking or attacking me is not "shoving down their throat", but rather asking them to stop shoving down mine and making my life a misery for my harmless interests.

It is simple a question of respect - if I'm not ready to get educated on a subject I know nothing about, then I should not criticise, mock, reject or otherwise get involved in discussing that subject, or the people who practice that subject. I should not attack or complain about them directly or indirectly. Hectoring or mocking my friends or family about something I know nothing about except by hearsay is not only ignorant, it's also unkind and bad manners.

How to deal with someone like that in our lives - and again, I don't really mean casual strangers here, but people we love - is another matter. Because we love them, we give them time and the opportunity to find out more about us and our beloved tarot, and respond to them in such a way that undramatises the subject while standing our ground about our own practice. Such a loving approach doesn't always work, as Disa's and SunChariot's stories demonstrates.

Fudugazi said:

It isn't a question of shoving enlightenment down people's throat. Have you read Disa's loss? Or SunChariot's? What happens when someone you love rejects you for something that is an important part of your life and tries to make you stop, sometimes even giving you an ultimatum?

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I never said you or anyone else was trying to shove something down someones throat. In fact, I wasn't even replying to your post.

Regarding the other posts you've brought up -- if someone is rejected, then they are rejected. That's the bottom line no matter what the situation is. At that point I would think it is best to accept the reality of the situation and cope -- come to terms with it and move on.

ETA: I believe you can't demand respect. Respect is earned. If someone doesn't respect your views there are a myriad of reasons why they don't or won't. I'd never assume to comment on a specific situation without knowing all the facts and even then it would be my mind and my beliefs at work reaching a conclusion that maybe only I can reach.

Fudugazi said:

Sorry to read your story with your friend, Disa - it's obviously very painful to you. And it is EXACTLY that kind of situation I was thinking of when I asked - but what about the loved ones close to us who reject tarot, and maybe us because of our tarot? What do we do with them? They aren't random strangers.

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Thanks. It is painful, not only because of this friend, but because who knows when the exact same reaction could come from someone else I love. At least this friend was honest with me. I'm not sure the others who disagree with Tarot were as forthcoming with their opinions, or maybe they care more about me than their opinions of Tarot. I'd like to believe the latter is true, yet I'm hesitant to branch out any further because of this one experience. While I'm in a big city where readers abound, I'm still in the Bible Belt- it's like walking on eggshells until you know where people stand.

What DO we do with them, indeed. I'd say, we don't bring it up if we suspect it will upset them, beyond that I suppose they are the ones deciding what they will do with us.

214red said:

-How do we want to see tarot evolve in society

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I'm very conflicted about this question, along with the idea of incorporating tarot into schools. It SO depends on the slant of the teacher and the writer of any curricula. This is true of any subject! Some people would say that the wide variety of tarot and oracle products being sold today are meeting a need that we, as a society, are discovering we overlooked. Others would view it as proselytizing of much the same caliber so resented by many of us.

I think that no matter what tool we find to use/comfort us, we as human beings get carried away. We are so full of how it has changed things for us and we want to give that to everyone we meet! Good intentions. I'm reminded of my grandmother who bought a copy of whatever was on her heart & mind for every household in the family. Her delivery made you guarded. You wondered if she was saying that your family had this problem. Eventually, we learned to quietly accept the book/tape series, etc with a hug and then drop the item wherever we thought it should go. Years of emotional pain. Could it have been avoided or made easier? Perhaps. But we were too focused on our own hurt feelings and raging inside that wanted her to acknowledge us and stop. She couldn't and didn't. But she loved us with every fiber of her being.
ETA: Many of us did make a choice to severely limit contact until we came to a new way of interacting without the turmoil.