Icky feeling when potential Readers suss out your previous questions?

No, it does not make me uneasy. How I behave in public has always influenced other people's reactions to me. I've known that all my life.

There are benefits to sharing private information in public. There are also costs. One of those costs is that you create a permanent record of your behavior that can be reviewed by other people.

If knowing that people can and will review your posts and make decisions based on what you have said and done in the past is causing a problem for you, you may want to be more circumspect in what you share with hundreds (if not thousands) of current and future members of these forums.

People review other people's posts all the time. They don't always say that they used the information to decide how to respond to you, so you may not have been aware that it was happening in the past. So now that you know people are doing that, you may want to look more carefully at what you post.

You are posting publicly on the internet, after all

Does anyone think people sometimes see free readings as like free lottery tickets? Not too difficult to give the required feedback. Chance to win great prizes (Prince Charming!) As long as someone on the forum will give, keep taking?

This just occurred to me.

I don't see that the sitter is more vulnerable than the reader.

Bonny, if you feel someone treated you with disrespect, please consider contacting a mod for a second look. I haven't seen cruelty here. 'You have asked on such and such quite a lot lately' seems fine---it's an observation, not intrusive, not unkind, not a power trip. I can see how it might be unsettling to realize that someone is watching.

I once got involved with a con artist and naively helped her cash forged checks (I had no clue they were forged). When she was caught and the police interviewed me, I was astounded to discover I'd helped her cash over a dozen checks! But it was true. Too easy to lose track of what we do, to accept a habit.

I feel it is "manipulation" and a form of "abuse" to expect or demand that a reader reads despite her/him saying politely that they choose not to for whatever reason.

Perhaps for subscribers there should be more private areas, but where "Your Readings" or the "Reading Exchange" is concerned - that should remain public as it is meant for "practicing" and "learning". It should not, however, be a place to hang up one's hat under the "guise of learning" when really it is about getting "free readings". Especially the long termers that have not evolved.

DND

We "profile" people when we are face-to-face, whether it is scanning their "being" locally, observing their posture, their body language, their eyes, their voice, the way they speak, etc... as humans, we learn that certain behavioral patterns, movements and even physical traits can sometimes tip off to other traits. As such, we scan this "public record" in person all the time. In fact, this is where the bulk of reading energy goes imo, is this daily maintenance of scanning for threats, learning through curiosity, digging for facts and information through conversation of new and interesting individuals, etc... very innate to our whole being.

We don't have these markers readily available online, so that's why we have post history and a public record of sorts as a minor "blueprint" to the "internet persona". In fact, that's how our intuitive senses are typically trained to be engaged, which is using this "blueprint" as a trigger... and actually I think of Tarot as a symbolic way of re-creating this same blueprint in my mind. Showing what is manifested/manifesting underneath in some interpretable manner. I can't think that reading someone's post history is more penetrative than allowing someone "in" when they pull cards, tbh. Especially if this energy/information was made publically available to all to scan. Myself, I see energy and feelings through text, so scanning this text sometimes jump starts those otherwise instinctual processes, but I don't usually go through backlog unless I am tipped off to something...

So if people screen me, no it does not bother me. In fact, curiosity is a sign of good mental health and often sound critical judgement in my eyes. In other words, I think it's "smart" to investigate your senses if you feel you may be dealing with a muddy reading as a result of a repeat-a-querent, rather than sitting back on your thumbs and ignoring it entirely. At least it's smart to engage this in order to "tune" your guidance systems to see if they're working or not. I think that's really the main purpose of energy used for reading anyway, which is to self-protect/self-maintain/self-facilitate one's path, etc. Not necessarily to do readings for others. Those are a "bonus" as a result of experiencing good energetic health and having achieved personal growth, imho. Knowingly allowing this energy to be misused goes against my moral code as my practice is centered around maintaining the spirit's health and this internal guidance system.

With this forum being a learning forum, it's very difficult to be too picky about the types of readings/treatment we receive here, and for the same reasoning it's very important to screen as a reader. We have to allow for some indifference with respect to this being for "educational" purposes and all. However, like someone mentioned on the past page, I do get physical headaches as well from muddier readings. It's usually a result of repeat queries and often means the "message" has already gone through... nothing more to snuff out. Not all exchanges will be up to our particular liking, at least not as far as free readings are concerned. If you're looking for a true professional, top-rate customer service which offer privacy, then paid readings are more your venue. Actually on the subject of being an education forum, I think that that is partially why some people keep asking over and over... because 1) It's an learning forum so mixed-results are expected 2) Free readings may potentially be self-detrimental as they hold less value to us in some ways since we didn't pay for it... so maybe some subconscious sabotage on some part on our side that prevents us from fully absorbing or taking on board the full exchange. Since technically we don't feel they're worth paying for, so maybe they're worth in some ways in our refusal to pay (or lack of ability to)... is a thought... That's what I figure anyway, is the mental reality of at least the more well-intentioned repeaters... whether they realize this or not.

Glad this got some people talking - it may have raised some awareness.

Over a thousand posts in less that 24 hours.

It's been over & out for me for the last few hours.

Thanks everyone for replying & reading (on the quiet). Lol!

Go ahead with your own conversations.

The purpose of the thread has been met. Thanks!

Tip: Addressing 'Bonny' won't bring any attention so for your own satisfaction best you write to each other from this point on.
Go well everyone!

Not sure what awareness would be raised.

But it occurred to me that even a face to face reader in real life is going to recognise someone who comes over and over again with the same question/issue - and I would be very surprised if they didn't point this out.

debra's right about the lottery side of it too - there are constantly new "members" here who try and get free readings without putting in any effort on feedback or trying to learn. But with any reading - there's no real point asking again for - quite a while, unless there is clearly something grossly wrong - as in the one where a reader told me I was pregnant and flatly refused to accept that I couldn't possibly be - I had a hysterectomy in 1984 and was 65 at the time of the reading. When you get a reader who cannot accept that their reading MUST be off, I think it's OK to look for another

The cards do their thing and a sitter needs to take time to absorb the lesson they offer. To be blunt - on the whole they have a valuable message and if a sitter doesn't like what they heard, they owe it to the reader to give it proper consideration anyway. So often they come back later and say "you know you said I would find a better job than the one I was offered, and not to take that one even though it paid so much - well, guess what..."

People who keep asking the same thing are very often not reflecting on the message,; in my view they are just banging on hoping for the answer they want to be suggested by someone. There are endless threads where the questioner keeps saying "no no that's not it" till the post that says "I think he loves you". "YES, you have hit it. Thank you. THAT's what I thought too". From - say, 10 Swords, Judgement and Devil.... Agreeing with them doesn't help them. Following their next thread with the same question, and saying that you don't see a positive outcome - when you actually don't see such a thing - doesn't help them. (Nor does saying you do, when you don't, or even saying maybe possibly perhaps if you REALLY don't...) Ignoring the number of times they posit the same question effectively demanding the answer they want doesn't help them. Helping then to see that if you get a message from a reading, even if you don't like it, you need to take account of that message just might.

This conversation has been troubling because it points to the tendency to use tarot as a "wish fulfillment" aid with no action required on the part of the enquirer except persistence. It's not as flagrant as "wishing will make it so" (you know what I'm talking about), but it can be very tempting to blow right by the "self-help" aspect and go straight to "self-gratification," the more instant the better. While it's potentially true that the Universe has our best interests at heart (I will probably think differently in a minute or two), that doesn't mean it has any interest in every little bump and scrape. The tarot deck could really use a "Just get over it!" card.

Barleywine said:

This conversation has been troubling because it points to the tendency to use tarot as a "wish fulfillment" aid with no action required on the part of the enquirer except persistence. It's not as flagrant as "wishing will make it so" (you know what I'm talking about), but it can be very tempting to blow right by the "self-help" aspect and go straight to "self-gratification," the more instant the better. While it's potentially true that the Universe has our best interests at heart (I will probably think differently in a minute or two), that doesn't mean it has any interest in every little bump and scrape. The tarot deck could really use a "Just get over it!" card.

Click to expand...

There are such cards, depending on context

gregory said:

There are such cards, depending on context

Click to expand...

I thought about that, but I want something more direct and visceral, one that doesn't "wave at you with all five fingers," the opposite of what Jimmy Carter once said about why he likes Canadians.