"Here's why I don't read - any input please?"
nisaba
BUT, I agree with you completely about not lying
<deeply puzzled> So why give the example of telling someone whose partner doesn't care for them that they are loved?
Tanga
"difficulties with querents"
Huh yes. I have sort of a therapeutic parallel. I may occasionally get a client who walks in and says "I think I've been sampling too many different therapies". So I answer "OK - so why are you here?" (as of-course they're adding to their over-sampled list by coming to see me). Mostly what's happening here is they really would like help and to feel better NOW (which of-course cannot be the case. Time is needed for everything to unfold) - and thus have tried many things because they feel so awful - regrettably. I do my best in judging what is then the most appropriate thing in this case.
Such a lovely phrase - I'll remember that.
Why laugh? Some people would LOVE that (Me please! ).
Huh yes. I have sort of a therapeutic parallel. I may occasionally get a client who walks in and says "I think I've been sampling too many different therapies". So I answer "OK - so why are you here?" (as of-course they're adding to their over-sampled list by coming to see me). Mostly what's happening here is they really would like help and to feel better NOW (which of-course cannot be the case. Time is needed for everything to unfold) - and thus have tried many things because they feel so awful - regrettably. I do my best in judging what is then the most appropriate thing in this case.
Such a lovely phrase - I'll remember that.
Don't laugh - I remember 3 of us joking about starting a center - don't remember what the third's specialty was anymore - but it entailed all 3 of us working on a client simultaneously - one doing a massage, me reading their cards ... and I forget what else.
Why laugh? Some people would LOVE that (Me please!
).Grizabella
Usually when that bitchy voice arises arises when I'm reading, I know my "self" is getting in the way of my desire to be of compassionate assistance to my sitter and I shouldn't be doing that reading. A reader needs to learn diplomacy, compassion, empathy and unconditional love or they don't need to be reading for others. If they can't operate from the place those traits come from, then they don't need to be reading cards because all they'll be doing is using the cards to reflect their own negative judgments. Putting on the Tarot reader hat and then using the cards as a way to judge others in the guise of a reader isn't right. It's dishonest and self-serving and hardly better than all the quacks we read about who give Tarot readers a bad name.
I find that my sitters who are used to frequenting Tarot readers are very shrewd in recognizing a reader who is just using the cards as a way to enable themselves to be "brutally honest." Heaven help the inexperienced sitter, though, who goes to one of these.
I find that my sitters who are used to frequenting Tarot readers are very shrewd in recognizing a reader who is just using the cards as a way to enable themselves to be "brutally honest." Heaven help the inexperienced sitter, though, who goes to one of these.
Tanga
"a reader's skill"
Well said Grizabella.
The only time (so far) that I've ever had that 'bitchy voice' arise - and I usually know even before I do the reading - is if a friend/acquaintance of mine asks me to do one for them and we have some sort of 'history'.
I then refer them on.
Well said Grizabella.
The only time (so far) that I've ever had that 'bitchy voice' arise - and I usually know even before I do the reading - is if a friend/acquaintance of mine asks me to do one for them and we have some sort of 'history'.
I then refer them on.
Ruby Jewel
Thanks for the wisdom Grizabella. We all should be aware of how our words affect the client. Unfortunately, many readers have no background in psychology or counseling and are unaware of the impact their words have on the client. Unless we realize what a "neurosis" looks like, we are prone to justify a compulsive need of our own to "tell the truth" under the guise of an inherent moral right. Actually, "our inherent moral right" is really only a "guiding principle" that we created as a child for a crutch (ie. if I'm telling the "truth" then I can't be faulted). We create the "guiding principle" to simplify our world. The reason we blurt things out before we realize it is because of an insecurity.....it is a "reaction" not a "response". A neurotic reaction happens because the "snyapse" is circumvented....it is an unconscious reaction that happens before we are aware of it and so we act first, and then realize what we have done. By then it is too late to choose our words.
I have been there myself....in a major way until one day, at the age of 40+, I decided to do something about myself. Once you understand the mechanism and how it works, you are on the road to changing it. My recommended reading is Karen Horney, "Our Inner Conflicts." Also, "The Neurotic Personality of Our Time". In that order.
Grizabella
I learned the hard way that until I could face myself and my shadow and forgive myself and have some love for myself, I really couldn't be compassionate and unconditionally loving of others. I still don't do it perfectly. But in allowing myself to be human and flawed, I find now that I'm able to also have empathy and compassion for others because I see myself in them and can allow their imperfections too.
I'm not perfect at it, though, and the old bitchy self can rouse from slumber now and then. That's when I need to send myself "to my room" for some contemplation and self-honesty instead of letting anyone else sit for me till I've done that.
I'm not perfect at it, though, and the old bitchy self can rouse from slumber now and then. That's when I need to send myself "to my room" for some contemplation and self-honesty instead of letting anyone else sit for me till I've done that.
Ruby Jewel
There are many roads that lead to the mountaintop.
Tanga
"blunt delivery"
Very many thanks Ruby Jewel - this is most helpful.
I have nothing further than basic counselling skills - repeated over from studies of various bodytherapy modalities.
Very many thanks Ruby Jewel - this is most helpful.
I have nothing further than basic counselling skills - repeated over from studies of various bodytherapy modalities.
Ruby Jewel
Tanga, you are more than welcome. You go girl, because theses books will open up a new world for you. There is another book I would recommend after these: "Psychic Energy" by Esther Harding. She is a Jungian psychoanalyst....a beautiful person, as was Karen Horney. Both these women are contemporaries of carl Gustav Jung and Sigmund Freud.
There is a biography out for Karen Horney in case you become curious. It is called "A Mind of Her Own."
