Catholism and Thoth
Hi
I was brought up a Catholic too and when I first met the Thoth (some 20 years ago) it was its first job with me - to help me understand my true beliefs and connection with the spiritual realms. I first met the deck with fear that it was indeed going to connect me with something dark. However I was also very drawn to it and to this point had always trusted my intuitive draw to something as a message that it held some deep learning for me. This didn't fail me.
I found working with the Thoth - a little at a time - I came to know my own shadow, *my* darkness and actually was guided to integrate that within me. It was a very healing experience that took a good few years. Not that it has ever stopped teaching me about myself, both psychologically, spiritually and practically in the mundane world. I regard it as my closest ally now.
I feel often the church has put mans interpretation on what essentially was a good message at the time, then taken this to make rules and indeed control and manipulate in much the same was as they say the demonic does... projecting their shadow material perhaps ;-)
As to 'handbooks' well for me, when focusing on actually using the deck powerfully and effectively with healing and honesty the Gerd Zeigler book (Tarot: Mirror of our soul) is certainly I recommend to start with - I know many people really critise this book, and indeed it doesn't talk about any of the technicalities of why each image and symbol is there and how it relates to the many correspondances intended. However it does take the meaning and essence at a deep level and offer healing through the difficulties life presents and for me is the place to start with the deck - with your experience of it in this life rather than academic learning of its background and intentions.
I know this attitude doesn't ring right with everyone, however I offer it as an opinion you might consider as appropriate for you too. I feel our own psyches can react to the archetypal imagery on this deck particularly well as the correspondences are so layered and carefully created. We don't have to know how all this was put together to allow our psyches to respond and access the material though.
Love and blessings
Emma
http://www.tarot-training.co.uk
http://www.tarot-guidance.co.uk