Asking for what isn't there, being too specific

Just a note to self, hopefully a subject for discussion.

I have noticed a stark difference in my readings for myself and others between asking for situations that exist and situations that are potential.
I've adjusted the meanings of the cards accordingly.

So when someone asks me what feelings someone has for them and I get the King of Cups I will adjust that to the fact this is someone they barely know and who likely hasn't even had the time to develop the corresponding feelings it would have if someone was asking about their husband.

As a matter of fact sometimes it's even "worse". Say someone asks about someone's feelings for them and that person is someone they barely know who is married to someone else. The person whose feelings they are inquiring about might not even have registered their existence or might simply have zero feelings for them. Asking what feelings he has might actually end up reflecting the closest thing (the feelings said person has for his/her spouse or the feelings the querent he/herself has).

Which also reminds me I am opposed to reading for romance when it concerns people who are in relationships with others but this request gets ignored sometimes.

I was also thinking about the fact that readings, before the internet, were done in person so a proper context to the question being posed was obtained before or during a reading either by disclosure or body language.

Anyway that's it.

There is a HUGE difference in quality in my readings when I am given proper context and when there is a proper context to ask about because cards simply don't mean the same thing.

I've taught myself to ask keeping that in mind when I read for myself and I have seen an improvement in accuracy.

I don't do 'how does someone feel' readings anymore. I don't think it's our right to ask.

I'd be absolutely horrified if someone was reading cards about me without asking, anyway. Even though my personal view of how Tarot works is that it gives us a better view of our window on the world, not someone else's, anyway, so that does change things a bit.

To be honest I think it's a bit problematic - people need to ask other people what they feel and actually communicate, not try to guess.

But anyway, having said that, I absolutely agree that it's important to have the right contextual information when reading. It can dramatically change your interpretation.

*After* an experience or conversation with an individual that ends in such a way that isn't definitive I can understand the desire to know how someone feels/thinks about someone else. However, I still don't do it. I may comment on another person's reading here who has asked that question and interpret what I see but I won't read on it.

Assumptive readings always have a higher likelihood of leading one astray. Far better to ask "How can I encourage (further) communication?" "How can I help the situation?"

I have asked what I can expect from someone's behavior - but behavior is outward, not inward. And then followed up with how I could best respond to said behavior.

Also "When will I hear about the job?" Is a positive, but still assumptive question. Some companies don't have the courtesy to notify you if you haven't made it to the next step of the interview process or if someone else has been chosen for the position, you have to initiate that call.

I think the majority of us have probably crossed the line as far as integrity goes at some point with cards and I'm wondering if it's something we rise above eventually as part of the tarot process of self discovery. We all have a shadow and insecurities and it's pretty natural to wonder how we're perceived by others.

Seems to me as long as we ask the right question for example how does x see me? not what should x see we'll get a pretty good reflection but that includes shadow aspects of ourselves we're not aware of and then wonder why we can't understand or make the cards fit lol. I don't necessarily condone this intrusive practice but what I learned from asking is that other people see us as we are, they see what we're blind to and the cards are a brilliant tool for self correction, problem is I guess in the wrong hands their a brilliant tool for manipulation too so I'm torn.

I don't believe we can rise through the ranks on the side of light without integrity but that's something that's learned with practice.

I just don't do questions that exclusively involve someone who isn't participating in the reading. It feels invasive and discourages honest communication. Plus, what if the cards are wrong, or interpreted incorrectly? Instead I focus on either the sitter or their relationship with someone else as a whole. But my whole philosophy about the use of tarot is related to emotional growth and personal understanding, which doesn't come from asking about a third party. If someone's asking for interpretations of a reading on the subject, I'll offer one, but I don't draw cards about it myself.

Of course, every reader should do what they feel comfortable with.

I very much appreciate context when reading/interpreting for others. To me, it's invaluable data that can make what might otherwise be an inapplicable, pie in the sky effort into something potentially helpful and worthwhile to the querent. For example: reading on a love interest who's ignored contact attempts for years vs. one who is directly involved with you in person and readily communicative = BIG DIFFERENCE! Tarot cards alone can't always put across all valid information, even when it's a major factor.

On occasion, I've had a purely intuitive card-based hunch prove accurate, which may seem more "impressive" than applying any available information to whatever is revealed and/or suggested by the cards... But I don't view such cases as somehow better or any more useful to a querent. Ideally, I want to be useful. Honesty/forthrightness and logic can only encourage greater usefulness, as far as I'm concerned (though I suspect that some would consider that "cheating" when it comes to reading Tarot cards ).

I prefer very much to have context, although one also has to take into account that some context might be true from the reader's view but might not actually be the truth.

Arania said:

[...] one also has to take into account that some context might be true from the reader's view but might not actually be the truth.

Click to expand...

Very true! Intuition and reading between the lines can help a reader out in such cases.

Arania said:

I prefer very much to have context, although one also has to take into account that some context might be true from the reader's view but might not actually be the truth.

Click to expand...

Hear, hear.

Yes, context is provided by the sitter who can have a mild to wildly skewed perception of the situation.

About how someone feels for the sitter questions (I'm sorry I am not quoting but there are three of you opposed to those readings) I am not opposed to them. Neither what they feel nor think about the sitter.

I would if someone was asking about someone's feelings/thoughts about someone else.

The reason for this (the reason why I don't consider it invasive) is that it presupposes a relationship between the sitter and the person being asked about. So the other person's feelings/thoughts about the sitter are at least partly their business. I do appreciate the stance though, maybe even admire it.