The Lovers as feelings toward someone??

Rhinestones

Hello,
Still learning tarot here! I was seeing this guy who I had strong feelings for, and I FEEL he MAY have strong feelings too. He could never stop staring at me.
I decided to end it after sometime, but deep in my mind I crave him, very complicated.

If I pull out Lovers as his feelings TOWARD me,
What could this mean? Strong bond?
Could it also mean he's seeing another person? This card had to do with feelings, so I assume this option wouldn't work.. What do you think?
 

Rhinestones

Any guesses perhaps? Even if you throw something in..
 

Thirteen

If I pull out Lovers as his feelings TOWARD me,
What could this mean? Strong bond?
Could it also mean he's seeing another person?
If this card is about his feelings toward you, why would you think it means he's seeing another person?

It's quite clear and pretty simple--he feels you are a missing part of him, his other half, his soul mate. That's what the Lovers is all about--finding someone or some thing that you connect to very strongly. And he probably has some equally strong feelings about the choice you made to end the relationship.
 

Emsie

If this card is about his feelings toward you, why would you think it means he's seeing another person?

It's quite clear and pretty simple--he feels you are a missing part of him, his other half, his soul mate. That's what the Lovers is all about--finding someone or some thing that you connect to very strongly. And he probably has some equally strong feelings about the choice you made to end the relationship.

I exactly wanted to ask the same question as Rhinestones, because I wasn't clear about my new love interest's feelings for me. I don't want to open a new thread, so I'd like to join if you don't mind. :)

(I also pulled 2 of Cups before, but it can also mean friendship that's why I wasn't sure.)

This time I asked how he felt for me in the context of romance and pulled The Lovers. Thirteen, do you think that it speaks for itself and he's fallen in love with me?
 

Thirteen

Thirteen, do you think that it speaks for itself and he's fallen in love with me?
I'm guessing that if I say that, you're going to go off onto moon dreams of wine and candle-lit dinners, passionate nights together and a big white wedding ;) And that would be a mistake. The name notwithstanding, the Lovers card isn't Romeo and Juliet. It is, rather, a choice made on the psychic level that a person may or may not acknowledge or act on. This is something we tarot readers really, really, REALLY need to be aware of, otherwise we risk misleading ourselves and those we read for.

What the Lover's card says is that his psyche recognizes you and thinks the two of you need to be together. Maybe as lovers, maybe as best friends, maybe as psychic brother and sister. Whatever his psychic opinion of you, however, it may not win over the rest of him. That's why this card is also about "choice" rather than "romance"--why it's about the mind/intellect rather than the heart/emotions. This isn't uncontrollable, irresistible "I'd rather die than live without you!" feelings. Strong as the psychic connection between you is to him, his mind is in control, and he's going to make a thoughtful decision about all this. Would giving into his desire to be with you complicate his life too much and it's better to walk away? And if he decides he should be with you, what kind of "love" will it be? Friendship or more than that?

The psyche has made its choice, now the rest of him must choose as well. So, you can see why, I think, that saying he has "fallen in love" would be misleading. :)
 

Emsie

I'm guessing that if I say that, you're going to go off onto moon dreams of wine and candle-lit dinners, passionate nights together and a big white wedding ;) And that would be a mistake. The name notwithstanding, the Lovers card isn't Romeo and Juliet. It is, rather, a choice made on the psychic level that a person may or may not acknowledge or act on. This is something we tarot readers really, really, REALLY need to be aware of, otherwise we risk misleading ourselves and those we read for.

What the Lover's card says is that his psyche recognizes you and thinks the two of you need to be together. Maybe as lovers, maybe as best friends, maybe as psychic brother and sister. Whatever his psychic opinion of you, however, it may not win over the rest of him. That's why this card is also about "choice" rather than "romance"--why it's about the mind/intellect rather than the heart/emotions. This isn't uncontrollable, irresistible "I'd rather die than live without you!" feelings. Strong as the psychic connection between you is to him, his mind is in control, and he's going to make a thoughtful decision about all this. Would giving into his desire to be with you complicate his life too much and it's better to walk away? And if he decides he should be with you, what kind of "love" will it be? Friendship or more than that?

The psyche has made its choice, now the rest of him must choose as well. So, you can see why, I think, that saying he has "fallen in love" would be misleading. :)

It's pretty hard to interpret, to be honest. :) And also his behaviour shows some kind of duality - one day he shows that he's interested in a romantic way, on the other he's distant and aloof. I can't remember the time when I was confused like these days...

Thank you so much for your explanation! Time will definitely tell which way the situation will go... :) I'm getting really excited and curious to see what will evolve.
 

novenovembre

Hello,
Still learning tarot here! I was seeing this guy who I had strong feelings for, and I FEEL he MAY have strong feelings too. He could never stop staring at me.
I decided to end it after sometime, but deep in my mind I crave him, very complicated.

If I pull out Lovers as his feelings TOWARD me,
What could this mean? Strong bond?
Could it also mean he's seeing another person? This card had to do with feelings, so I assume this option wouldn't work.. What do you think?

Maybe I'm being dumb and obvious, but to me the Lovers in that line are one of the most obvious cards in the deck, and pretty difficult to misinterpret.....

Sexual attraction.....love.....wanting a relationship with you.....wanting to have sex with you.....variations of that are possible, but all along that line.....where exactly did you see another person ?
 

Thirteen

Sexual attraction.....love.....wanting a relationship with you.....wanting to have sex with you.....variations of that are possible, but all along that line
I understand that some see the Lovers as sexual attraction, but I've always wondered where they saw this given that Gemini is it's zodiac and Air is it's element. Can you explain? There is nothing "earthy" in the card to suggest that sex is part of what is attracting one person to this other person or thing (and the card can, of course, indicate love for something other than a person for a person).

I mean, couldn't the definition you give above work perfectly if the Devil card had come up?

The history of the Lovers card, as I understand it, is that it was originally called "Love" and then "The Lover" meaning a person who falls in love. Yet in none of these do we see "sexual attraction" which one can feel without love--as we can love without feeling sexual attraction (I felt love at first sight for my cat, but I assure you no sexual attraction ;)).

Attraction without a doubt, but why sexual? Where in the card do you see it? :confused:
 

novenovembre

I understand that some see the Lovers as sexual attraction, but I've always wondered where they saw this given that Gemini is it's zodiac and Air is it's element. Can you explain? There is nothing "earthy" in the card to suggest that sex is part of what is attracting one person to this other person or thing (and the card can, of course, indicate love for something other than a person for a person).

I mean, couldn't the definition you give above work perfectly if the Devil card had come up?

The history of the Lovers card, as I understand it, is that it was originally called "Love" and then "The Lover" meaning a person who falls in love. Yet in none of these do we see "sexual attraction" which one can feel without love--as we can love without feeling sexual attraction (I felt love at first sight for my cat, but I assure you no sexual attraction ;)).

Attraction without a doubt, but why sexual? Where in the card do you see it? :confused:

I see what you are saying.....to me, its got a very sexual thing about it, but it could also be falling in love....like I said, all in that area anyway.....the Devil to me is an attraction (probably sexual, but not necessarily) turned negative....(obsession more like....)

PS I mean, let's talk about the imagery....two naked people in a scenery like that....isn't that a sexual image/ picture to you...?
The two of cups to me is definitely attraction........and falling in love....And what would be a card talking about sexual attraction to you, apart from the Devil, which definitely carries a negativity about it ? Unless you are saying that sexual attraction is per se a negative concept....?
 

novenovembre

Ps

Many years ago, long before I began to read tarot, I went to an exclellent tarot reader in London, whom I knew, and asked him about future developments with a boy I was in love with at the time, who up until then had been just a friend. I kept asking if we were going to be together, and if he was as attracted to me (sexually ) as I was to him...the Lovers had come up but I still wouldn't take yes for an answer. He picked up the card, showed it to me, and said to me " Can you see this ? If I was a monkey, there is no way that I could misunderstand this....."
I'll never forget that.