Is it time to break up?

Le Fanu

There's things here I just don't do. I pull a "card of the day" quite infrequently, I never ask on so-called "trivial" things (just never get round to it, not because I think it is silly or anything else). I have decks with me thinking I'll have 5 minutes to ground myself and reflect on a few images at some point during the day, but it just doesn't happen.

I have this incessant feeling that I wish I had more time for tarot but life gets in the way; life, work, love, social life, dinners, parties... all manner of things. It's a nice place to be as one is in a permanent state of yearning for quality time with the cards, thus I never feel satiated.

I so often wish I had time at home, with tea, biscuits, my beautiful spreadcloths, beautiful objects on the reading table, decks I haven't dug out for ages, incense & candles, but I just never seem to have the time.

I suppose that means that I never get bored with tarot as I never get sick of it.
 

214red

Milfoil said:
Hmm, difficult one. Most people who are deeply in love are co-dependant, it comes with the territory and when one dies, it is difficult to cope/function without them for a time. I don't find that worrying but part of being truly in love.

Perhaps it is a distinction between deeper relationships such as human love and that of an activity such as tarot???
maybe its the type personality you have, i like independence so i wouldnt like to be co-dependant, however my one of my friends for example could cope by himself but would struggle because he is so intertwined with his wifes (they open eash others post and never baths alone)...they adore each other, its great they are so happy for so long, but i dont envy their relationship ...there isnt enough space or balance for me
 

214red

jcwirish said:
I think my problem is just the opposite. I'm still in love with the tarot, but I hardly ever seem to have enough time for it. I yearn for more understanding and more time with the cards, but with a 5 year old, my priorities are somewhere else.

I feel like all I can do right now is give tarot the time I can, and not worry about how long it takes me to develop my skills to the level I want. I'm an impatient person, and I always have this tug to get the cards out, but I have to remind myself that this is a life long journey. One day I'll have a lot more time to give the cards, but then I'll be missing my 5 year old, lol! Oh, I can't win. :D
i find the same with meditating/stillness, its hard work fitting it in, i always find something else to do because i hate to sit still ...so its hard work.
 

Aerin

I've never felt dependent on a deck. I had a colleague who got dependent on a pendulum and even used it to decide what to eat/ when to water plants/ etc so she went cold turkey. So if that happened I'd know to take a step back.

I naturally fall into cycles when I am more involved with tarot than other times, I don't force it though.
 

214red

Aerin said:
I've never felt dependent on a deck. I had a colleague who got dependent on a pendulum and even used it to decide what to eat/ when to water plants/ etc so she went cold turkey. So if that happened I'd know to take a step back.

I naturally fall into cycles when I am more involved with tarot than other times, I don't force it though.
me too, it ebbs and flows with me. i can happily go out without any decks for weeks, but then i will want to take a deck with me
 

The crowned one

I think like anything in life "when it is time for a change" is subjective and internally based. You just know. The external signs will be different for everyone because everyone is different. I have not pulled a daily card in years, just do not need to. Change is not always brought on by negitive thoughts towards past actions...but that seems to be the root of most. I have made changes because a bright future drew me forward, not to leave a bad past...and I have done the typical negitive driven route too. Some days I like coffee others tea, Somedays I read tarot, others I do not. It is just a part of my life, no more special oe less then any other mundain aspect.

214red said:
. i personally beleive in balance, relationship and life wise.
I think anything that becomes co-dependant is dangerous, relationships of all kind can, if you cant cope/function without that person/thing then isnt that worrying, i am not saying that its nicer to have that thing/person around
I bet when your away from your husband you appriciate the time you have with him more (not saying that you dont anyways), the little things.

I find I am always at my best when I work with someone, not alone. I MAY prefer to ber alone but I know I am not at my best. Co- dependancy and team work can not be confused, marriage is not a codependent sitiuation, it is a opportunity to double your powers, and childern can add even more.

We appreciate what we have lost because the emotion is stronger once again.( it is complex and involves a feedback loop in the conscious mind back to the brain) We do not appreciate what we have on a emotional high level because the body would have to release more and more hormones in a destructive way ( like an addiction) to keep that level of emotion at hight. In stead we use our ability to reason and observe why we love in the long term, and with that comes different hormones that do not cause the palms to sweat and the heart to race but rather to feel secure and a part of something special. Co dependency only happens when something goes wrong. What you are describing in your first post is disillusion to me. Again nothing to to with co-dependency but rather faith.

Co-dependency comes from within. It only takes one and it is about control to me.
 

Suzanne A

I think some of the things you listed could be part of a healthy relationship with Tarot, like habitually carrying cards with you, or giving people nicknames based on Tarot cards that they remind you of. Tarot, like many interests and pastimes can become part of your mind-set. For instance, now that Tarot imagery is engrained in my mind, I often think of card images when I see people out on the street--that couple intently talking to each other--2 of Cups going on there--that oh-so-pregnant woman ahead of me in the grocery line--Empress. I don't see anything excessive in this; I often see things in terms of books or movies, or other things that are part of my life. If the Tarot imagery overwhelmed my real-life comprehension of things, then I would worry, just as I would worry if I started thinking that romantic comedies reflect real life.

You did list a number of things that would suggest over-involvement with Tarot, like panicking if you don't have a deck with you, or asking the same questions over and over. The ironic thing is that the Tarot would probably tell you these things are problematic if you asked it, just as it would point out any area where one is not handling things in the best way. A vacation from Tarot could be indicated in this situation, but perhaps it would also be good to do some thinking about your relationship to Tarot and why it has become problematic. I don't say this to be judgmental, but because in my own life I have a tendency to be a bit addictive and/or compulsive, and I've slowly learned that when I have these kind of feelings about something, it's time to pay attention to what's going on with me, rather than quitting cold turkey and moving on to something else.
 

kakooii

Interesting thread

Khalil Gibran: "Let there be spaces in your togetherness"

- my approach to every one and every thing in life, in all ways. So long as there is space, it's ok.

Sometimes doesn't quite work out the way I like it, especially with things like M&S biscuits and fags, but it always bites me on the butt when I forget that principle around people, especially family :D
 

Sar

Break up with Tarot??

Perhaps I just need to break up with my own leg and just cut it off,. as well..

I am always prepar to go underground for my right to Tarot.
 

Carla

214red said:
-if you didn’t pull a daily card, would you dread what the day had instore?
I don't do daily draws of any type.



214red said:
-If you don’t have a deck with you, you feel like you have lost a limb, in extreme cases it would cause panic to set in?
I don't carry tarot decks around with me.


214red said:
-If you changing handbags, is the first thing you put in the new bag your cards?
See above. (And actually, I don't carry a handbag. I always use big giant totes :) )

214red said:
-Do you pull a card discreetly to find out what strangers thought about you, i.e. the cute barista who served your latte
I have never asked the tarot what anyone thinks of me. I've always used the cards to focus on changing my own thoughts and behaviour.

214red said:
-Have you pulled so many cards in different spreads about a situation that your no longer sure which way is up?
Not sense Nisaba smacked my jaws for doing it!


214red said:
-Have you given someone a nickname related to a card, for example 'Mr Emperor' or 'Ms Queen of Wands' now represents the cute person at work because that card always comes up in the many readings you do about them?
Nope...although I will occasionally think, 'Hm, that's a Knight of Wands thing to do' ... so there is a bit of that.

214red said:
-Are you unable to make a decision with pulling a card?
No, I am quite capable of making decisions without the cards. I do it all the time.

I guess this means I have a healthy relationship with my tarot, because I do play with the cards every day, but in none of the 'unhealthy' ways you describe. Yay!