Mary El Tarot - The Ace of Wands

Bat Chicken

http://www.mary-el.com/wands1.html

The lion headed Ace of Wands literally has a fire in its belly and the glyph of fire on its chest. The activity of this suit is clear in the face of the creature. The card represents it suit of Wands with element of fire and the fixed sign of Leo. The feeling of this card is rather strained – or better still, like the Swords, restrained. The hands are crossed above the head as if they were bound, but they are not. The creature’s wildness seems to be held in check by an invisible force. The body bearing both male and female features is a little emaciated – hungry?

The wings are white with red tips and chevrons marking them as if scarred or dipped in blood/fire?

There is a general commentary on the Aces as a group and their commonalities here.

Thoughts?
 

Milfoil

Yes, fire in the belly seems to be the driving force in this card doesn't it? That initial inertia shown in the frenetic movement of the lion face which looks both directions of peaceful observation and roaring, sheer, passion. The ground is bare, undulating dunes where nothing yet grows.

The seed, star or spark in the womb shows that this inspiration (symbolised by the Hawk wings - the messenger from the Sun) is, as yet, more like that intense, fad feeling when starting down a new and exciting path. Knowing that this is just the starting passion and that pace and endurance are needed to channel this fire through to its conclusion is half the battle.

I have to admit that this is one of my least favourite (visually) cards in the deck. I don't understand the criss-cross red marks on the legs and find it rather disturbing for an Ace but it does help me to understand yet another meaning of this Ace which, like the Lion head, demonstrates both sides of the situation where control, direction and channelling of this energy is vitally necessary if the 'fire in the belly' isn't going to flare up and die out before anything is achieved.
 

Requiella

http://www.mary-el.com/wands1.html

The body bearing both male and female features is a little emaciated – hungry?

Maybe. Or, could it be that the emaciated look could also represent the dark side of the element: being consumed by fiery passion in an unhealthy way, or letting one's passion overtake one (lack of balance)? Or, adding to the idea of "restraint," perhaps the being is emaciated due to too much self-restraint (of passion)?

Lots of ways to look at this one!
 

Mi-Shell

Ace of Wands.! ?
Really???
Is THAT, what this is supposed to be?
I read the book – about this being the untamed heat and energy of the sun….

That is not, what I see.
I find this image very disturbing - and also - sadly familiar:
Sometime it is a rather heavy burden, to know – too much – about mental health – and what it looks like, when that falls apart.
The RN in me, the trained professional in me knows and has seen it = THIS very scenario in the card more than once.
I learned to read artwork like this, find the tortured Soul between the strokes of the brush, the charcoal sketches, the drawings a knife or other sharp object rendered onto bleeding skin.

Legs being a prime canvas…
Bellies too…
On more than one occasion that, what is shaman in me has had to slip into the chaos-ripped Soul of the patient, in order to pull him/ her back from the brink of annihilation.
This is, what it feels like, when the voices call hither and fro, when the soul does not know anymore, where to turn, and then can not turn fast enough – forth and back and forth again.
Male? Or female? Or nothing- or everything or?? What? It changes by the minute – by the voice in the head and the voice of the soul that answers in tortured cries..
Voices! Roaring voices of malicious HATE, voices of angelic beauty commanding him/ her – you to – cut: First the arms and legs,let the blood run free and release the – self hate, the confusion the fear….
But then, just go, try to – cut-
– then the tail of the Cat, then –
- the whole Cat....

- Then cut the cord.
The cord that hold the last vestiges of sanity – the bindings, that anchor a person in the reality, where others live….
Others – that’s it!
The “Others” are after you! The voices scream and warn and threaten forth and back and every shadow becomes an “Other” equipped with menacing grin, brandishing a pen or a paintbrush that morphs into a knife, marking the body with blooooood-red fear and an insurmountable urge to escape.

Then, when the cutting of the own flesh is not stilling the voices anymore, is not releasing the pain anymore as it used to, not quieting the fear either….

When starving the body, depriving it of sleep, of food, of water, of nutrition will not kill the daemons, but just ripppppppp the fragile Soul-cover bare and expose it to the glarrrrring light of burning horror, When shielding the errant eyes from this glare of shadowy specters will not bring any relieve or refuge……

Then there is only one escape left: Spread your bloody wings and flee...
Choose:
Will you stumble screaming into the the sanctum of the walled wards and its/ their mind -and Soul numbing pills ?
Been there – done that –
How many times?
Do it again?
Or dare to turn the other way and race on blood dripping wings through the gates of suicide and –
- back into the quiet arms of the Earth Mother?
 

vee

I agree with you Mi-Shell, this card disturbs me and seems like a representation of someone very deeply troubled and in pain. I see someone who has fallen, broken, they still fight to get up as their identity and achievements are stripped away. It feels futile. I'm really not sure what to do with it, tbh. One of the harder cards for me, I think.
 

RunningWild

I don't see all this negativity at all. I do like the "fire in the belly" comment though and that's what first came to my mind looking at it. It's the seed of the suit. Energy that has no commitment, nowhere to go, no focus... it simply IS. It reminds me of the expression "wired for sound" when I see someone who seems to be nearly busting at the seams to do something...anything but doesn't have a conscious passion or direction.
 

Bat Chicken

I don't see all this negativity at all. I do like the "fire in the belly" comment though and that's what first came to my mind looking at it. It's the seed of the suit. Energy that has no commitment, nowhere to go, no focus... it simply IS. It reminds me of the expression "wired for sound" when I see someone who seems to be nearly busting at the seams to do something...anything but doesn't have a conscious passion or direction.

I am inclined to agree. Pent up energy in need of a focus...
That said, as an artist, that pent up feeling can have a destructive effect on the body if not directed. I would say it alludes to both a positive potential and a negative. The Mary El is being perceived as a dark deck, but I see a tremendous amount of force struggling to balance throughout the deck, it is certainly apparent in the Aces!
 

cSpaceDiva

I too have seen this scenario in the Ace of Wands, because I recognize it in myself. I have, in the past, marked myself in this way, and I am not ashamed. My tool of choice, my wand if you will, was not a knife but sharp, pointy scissors dragged ever so lightly across the skin, exquisitely pulling the pain that had been inside, out. When I look at the Ace of Wands, I don't see any wounds spilling blood. Like the figure here, I left red marks, temporarily, never drawing blood, never not in control. This is less severe, less permanent, than giving control over to someone else and having your body marked by a tattoo artist or a cosmetic surgeon. Both of those are somehow regarded as less alarming (though some people do consider tattoos another form of self-harm). If you are a fiery sort who insists on wielding the wand yourself, expect to be judged, not understood. Much better to be a watery person and drown it with your cups. One more glass of wine is so much more acceptable. Keep those troubles trapped inside so nobody can see them.

That is the conflict being pictured here--the pressure to keep quiet, close your mouth vs. the need to ROAR. This is not a choice between mind-numbing pills or suicide, in fact both of those are on the mouth closed, be polite, don't bother anyone side. There are more options and one of them is to be LOUD, to refuse to swallow what they are feeding you because your belly is already full, has always been full, and you're not going to ignore or put out that fire inside just to make other people more comfortable.

The Ace of Wands is energy without an outlet, tossing and turning in bed at night, spreading your wings with nowhere to fly to.
 

Michellehihi

I too have seen this scenario in the Ace of Wands, because I recognize it in myself. I have, in the past, marked myself in this way, and I am not ashamed. My tool of choice, my wand if you will, was not a knife but sharp, pointy scissors dragged ever so lightly across the skin, exquisitely pulling the pain that had been inside, out. When I look at the Ace of Wands, I don't see any wounds spilling blood. Like the figure here, I left red marks, temporarily, never drawing blood, never not in control. This is less severe, less permanent, than giving control over to someone else and having your body marked by a tattoo artist or a cosmetic surgeon. Both of those are somehow regarded as less alarming (though some people do consider tattoos another form of self-harm). If you are a fiery sort who insists on wielding the wand yourself, expect to be judged, not understood. Much better to be a watery person and drown it with your cups. One more glass of wine is so much more acceptable. Keep those troubles trapped inside so nobody can see them.

That is the conflict being pictured here--the pressure to keep quiet, close your mouth vs. the need to ROAR. This is not a choice between mind-numbing pills or suicide, in fact both of those are on the mouth closed, be polite, don't bother anyone side. There are more options and one of them is to be LOUD, to refuse to swallow what they are feeding you because your belly is already full, has always been full, and you're not going to ignore or put out that fire inside just to make other people more comfortable.

The Ace of Wands is energy without an outlet, tossing and turning in bed at night, spreading your wings with nowhere to fly to.

This. Beautiful.
I was reflecting on this card today, and I got yet a different message. This person is being totally consumed by her/his inner fire. The creature doesn't have an identity, it is man-woman-animal-bird. It is our shared experience of life on this earth. The depths of our true selves, the igniting fire of all lives.
Yes many times life hurts, we can feel the pain the creature is going through. It tells me that when I struggle against "what is", against my own reality, I am hurting myself, like a lion in a cage.
And yes there is blood, because I am desperaely tying to escape my condition, but I can't. Only acceptance, full acceptance of what is, will calm my inner fire.