There is something wrong with me?

The Tree of Life - wow I am so overwhelmed I feel like crying I feel so dumb

How am I going to understand it? I have it front of me, I am reading but just don't get it

Maybe I should give up Thoth study I knew it was for smart people only!

Anyone any ideas on how to study this an easier way?

Or do I start using the cards and learn back to front? I just feel study is needed before diving in!

Anything new, or new concepts can, at first , seem overwhelming. It is not.


Take your time. Lots of good info out there.

Hermetic Qabalah

tree of life

The crowned one said:

Anything new, or new concepts can, at first , seem overwhelming. It is not.


Take your time. Lots of good info out there.

Hermetic Qabalah

tree of life

Click to expand...

Thank you I have never felt so lost in my life.

Well, I think you nailed it on your last point.

Study is needed, there is no instant action guarantee.

I am getting into Tarot again after a 4 year break, no Tarot activity at all. I'm checking out decks, new (to me) books, activity on the forums &c. Probobly won't even start reading for a couple of months. It takes a while to get in the groove.

So take your time & trust yourself.

It'll let you know when.

Tell the truth, how long have you been studying it? Because if it's anything less than a month, you're not actually trying. You've been told this in other threads, to take your time. Some things you will get immediately, some things you will in a longer period, other topics may take years. For heaven's sake, Crowley himself wrote there are some majors he still didn't understand. And if you get stuck on something, the forum is full of people far wiser than I who will help you, but not if you give up at every turn and just don't do your homework. You get lost only if you expect to get somewhere.

Neither the Thoth nor Qabalah are subjects you can just learn, understand and then put away. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but it has nothing to do with brains, but with perseverance and commitment, to yourself. It is worth the effort, provided you actually make one. It isn't about the result, but about the work itself. If you find no enjoyment in it, you will reap no benefits from it.

As to using the cards, by all means. You will never learn all there is about them, so there is no point waiting until you do.

Inconnu said:

Well, I think you nailed it on your last point.

Study is needed, there is no instant action guarantee.

I am getting into Tarot again after a 4 year break, no Tarot activity at all. I'm checking out decks, new (to me) books, activity on the forums &c. Probobly won't even start reading for a couple of months. It takes a while to get in the groove.

So take your time & trust yourself.

It'll let you know when.

Click to expand...

Thank you

closrapexa said:

Tell the truth, how long have you been studying it? Because if it's anything less than a month, you're not actually trying. You've been told this in other threads, to take your time. Some things you will get immediately, some things you will in a longer period, other topics may take years. For heaven's sake, Crowley himself wrote there are some majors he still didn't understand. And if you get stuck on something, the forum is full of people far wiser than I who will help you, but not if you give up at every turn and just don't do your homework.

Neither the Thoth nor Qabalah are subjects you can just learn, understand and then put away. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but it has nothing to do with brains, but with perseverance and commitment, to yourself. It is worth the effort, provided you actually make one. It isn't about the result, but about the work itself. If you find no enjoyment in it, you will reap no benefits from it.

As to using the cards, by all means. You will never learn all there is about them, so there is no point waiting until you do.

Click to expand...

YOU are SO SO right. AND NO you are not being HARSH I need a slap every now and again. OK OK I will persevere. I will try and go slowwwww not try and learn everything in a day.

I will start a daily draw to study a card a day PLUS lots of reading. I am waiting on more books so will read what I have for now.

I have only just started studying I was perhaps expecting to much. THE TOL shouldnt be this hard though it is in front of me step by step and NUP still not getting through.

Thank you

Crowlsy insisted that a serious student keep a "Magickal diary". A record of operations, success, failures, attempts, outcomes. This helps keep the mind focused.

Pen to paper.

Inconnu said:

Crowlsy insisted that a serious student keep a "Magickal diary". A record of operations, success, failures, attempts, outcomes. This helps keep the mind focused.

Pen to paper.

Click to expand...

Thank you I have the pen and book read but haven't been able to write being so overwhelmed but you know what I think this is the time to actually write. You have made me realise thank you.

One thing - stop trying to learn it all right now. There are many layers to the Thoth and it isn't necessary, at least in my book, to be a grand master of them all. Start with exploration of the images. I spent a few summers ago just reading the Book of Thoth and trying to identify each of the things Crowley talked about in each card. He spoke of the Orphic Egg in one card - I tried to find the Orphic Egg in that card. A camel for the Priestess? I found that camel. And I looked at that camel. I thought about what a camel meant to me. How they cross the deserts and can survive on what they carry within. Hmmmm...now how does that relate to the Priestess? What's the connection?

As for the rest of it - the Tree of Life, the Elements, the Astrology, the..., it will come later. Learn of those things separately, outside the Thoth, and then explore the Thoth to see where they become evident.