"Ice-breaker" Questions

Barleywine

For those of you who read face-to-face in a public setting, how do you approach a brand-new client when they first walk through the door, after the pleasantries and before the reading proper? There are a number of questions I can think of that might be useful for cutting to the chase without spending a lot of time "taking the measure" of the sitter. A few I can think of are (not necessarily in these terms):

"How much exposure have you had to the tarot before today?" (This can help to quickly dial in the sophistication level of your reading style for that particular querent.)

"Do you have a specific question today or do you just want a general "life reading?" (This will help decide which spread to use; my days of using the Celtic Cross for everything are over.)

"Have you had a previous reading on this subject recently? (This will give an idea whether you can expect a lot of "the other reader said this or that" push-back.)

"Is there anything in particular that you would especially like to know?" (This might simply be "the question," but asking could also break loose some parallel area of inquiry that can be addressed at the same time.)

I'm sure there are a few more that might be asked without getting too technical about it. Any thoughts?

Apollonia

Barleywine said:
For those of you who read face-to-face in a public setting, how do you approach a brand-new client when they first walk through the door, after the pleasantries and before the reading proper? There are a number of questions I can think of that might be useful for cutting to the chase without spending a lot of time "taking the measure" of the sitter. A few I can think of are (not necessarily in these terms):

"How much exposure have you had to the tarot before today?" (This can help to quickly dial in the sophistication level of your reading style for that particular querent.)

"Do you have a specific question today or do you just want a general "life reading?" (This will help decide which spread to use; my days of using the Celtic Cross for everything are over.)

"Have you had a previous reading on this subject recently? (This will give an idea whether you can expect a lot of "the other reader said this or that" push-back.)

"Is there anything in particular that you would especially like to know?" (This might simply be "the question," but asking could also break loose some parallel area of inquiry that can be addressed at the same time.)

I'm sure there are a few more that might be asked without getting too technical about it. Any thoughts?

You've covered what I usually say, except that I don't ask if they had another reading on the subject, because I don't care, some querents feel funny about having gone to another reader, and if they want to bring it up during the reading, they will.

Barleywine

Apollonia said:
You've covered what I usually say, except that I don't ask if they had another reading on the subject, because I don't care, some querents feel funny about having gone to another reader, and if they want to bring it up during the reading, they will.

Good point. It will probably come out if we ask in general about their previous exposure to tarot.

Grizabella

I just smile and shuffle and answer any comments they make when they sit down. If they have questions about having a reading or something, we chat for a minute or two on that. Usually the sitter will state their question and concerns without being asked.

Then I put the cards in front of them for the cut. I fan them if I have enough room, and we proceed with the question and drawing cards.

I don't ask people "does any of this resonate with you?" or anything like that. They don't have to give me any indication whether the reading is right on or how they're feeling about it. In my head, that seems almost like cold reading when you ask them questions like that and it can shake their confidence in you as a reader as well. If they do point things out that are meaningful to them during the reading, that's great, but I don't ask them to.

As far as whether they've had anyone else read on that topic, that's none of my business.

Apollonia

Grizabella said:
I don't ask people "does any of this resonate with you?" or anything like that. They don't have to give me any indication whether the reading is right on or how they're feeling about it. In my head, that seems almost like cold reading when you ask them questions like that and it can shake their confidence in you as a reader as well. If they do point things out that are meaningful to them during the reading, that's great, but I don't ask them to.

I agree with this 100%. When a reader keeps asking, "Does this resonate with you?" it breaks up the flow of the reading and makes me feel they are unsure of their abilities.

Plus, many times some or all of the reading won't make sense to the querent until they have had a chance to digest it later.

Barleywine

Grizabella said:
I just smile and shuffle and answer any comments they make when they sit down. If they have questions about having a reading or something, we chat for a minute or two on that. Usually the sitter will state their question and concerns without being asked.

Then I put the cards in front of them for the cut. I fan them if I have enough room, and we proceed with the question and drawing cards.

I don't ask people "does any of this resonate with you?" or anything like that. They don't have to give me any indication whether the reading is right on or how they're feeling about it. In my head, that seems almost like cold reading when you ask them questions like that and it can shake their confidence in you as a reader as well. If they do point things out that are meaningful to them during the reading, that's great, but I don't ask them to.

As far as whether they've had anyone else read on that topic, that's none of my business.

Thanks, Griz. So no urge to try to "peg" them in advance so you don't either go right over their heads or spend time covering ground you don't really need to? I'm just looking at how the experience might be optimized for both the reader and the sitter, although I'm sure a lot of that detail does come out during the interaction as you say. Of course, in the long ago when I was still doing some "semi-pro" reading I didn't do any of that advance stuff either. I would think that focusing entirely on the cards and trying to draw the sitter into discussion on those when something needs clarification that isn't readily forthcoming would dispel any thoughts of "cold reading" as I understand it. After all, as I work, the sitter is responsible for the arrangement of the cards as they lay, so it's "their" spread.

Apollonia

Barleywine said:
Thanks, Griz. So no urge to try to "peg" them in advance so you don't either go right over their heads or spend time covering ground you don't really need to?

I differ from Griz here, as I always like to know whether my sitter has Tarot experience. It saves a lot of time and mental rolling of their eyes if they are experienced in Tarot--then I can just use a bit of shorthand and not have to explain the Death doesn't mean death, etc.

And if this is their first reading, there are things I want to tell them that I wouldn't necessarily explain to a seasoned sitter either.

MaryHeather

I usually ask if they have ever had a reading before. If they have not, then I go through the two minute "what the card says is not literal- Death doesn't mean someone is going to die, The Devil doesn't mean you are possessed", spiel. I use their response to that to make a preliminary decision on what deck to use.

Then I ask what question they have in mind or what issue they'd like some insight on. After they open up on that issue, I help them rephrase their question (yes/no and "how does x feel about me?" were the most common, and least conducive to accurate readings). I then usually say something along the lines of, "This reading isn't set in stone. Think of it more as a snapshot at this instant, and it can change." I never did F2F readings in a state with restrictions on fortune-tellers, but if I were reading over the phone, I would make the "I'm not a psychic" disclaimer.

At that point, I have a good idea of where they are coming from, and can make a final decision on which deck to use.

JackofWands

Grizabella said:
I don't ask people "does any of this resonate with you?" or anything like that. They don't have to give me any indication whether the reading is right on or how they're feeling about it. In my head, that seems almost like cold reading when you ask them questions like that and it can shake their confidence in you as a reader as well. If they do point things out that are meaningful to them during the reading, that's great, but I don't ask them to.

Personally, I differ on this point. My readings are very much context-based and are at their best when a querent offers feedback and direction. I agree that this is similar to cold reading, but because I don't claim to be psychic and am up-front about my use of contextual information, I don't think it's necessarily dishonest to do so.

Barleywine said:
Thanks, Griz. So no urge to try to "peg" them in advance so you don't either go right over their heads or spend time covering ground you don't really need to? I'm just looking at how the experience might be optimized for both the reader and the sitter, although I'm sure a lot of that detail does come out during the interaction as you say. Of course, in the long ago when I was still doing some "semi-pro" reading I didn't do any of that advance stuff either. I would think that focusing entirely on the cards and trying to draw the sitter into discussion on those when something needs clarification that isn't readily forthcoming would dispel any thoughts of "cold reading" as I understand it. After all, as I work, the sitter is responsible for the arrangement of the cards as they lay, so it's "their" spread.

Generally, what I do to avoid this is to select a middle-of-the-road reading style unless something else is requested to me. I won't offer a whole bucketload of introductory information on the Tarot unless my querent says they're new to Tarot or acts extremely confused, and I'll usually incorporate some intermediate reading techniques like the elemental dignities or some such. But unless my querent tells me that they're familiar with Tarot or related esoteric systems, I won't incorporate, Kabbalistic or astrological correspondences.

For the most part, though, I don't ask for this information before beginning a reading. I just stick to the intermediate level unless the querent decides to tell me otherwise. The questions I ask before beginning a reading are all much more focused on the querent's question and gaining as much context as I can.

Girl Archer

Newbie's inputs here! I don't read for public per se but I do read for friends sometimes and what I ask them is this - What are your expectations from this reading? That pretty much helps me gauge if they are familiar, are they looking at a proactive reading or predictive one, their level of belief ( I will read even for people who may think the experience a hoot but not for people who exude this "I know this is total B.S." kind of cocky cynical nonbelievers ) Their answer also helps me choose a deck.

"Ice-breaker" Questions

Barleywine

Apollonia

Barleywine

Grizabella

Apollonia

Barleywine

Apollonia

MaryHeather

JackofWands

Girl Archer