6 of Wands as the negative in a relationship

obeygravity

I've been doing some musings to cards and the role they play when talking about Dynamics and found myself a bit stumped on how 6 of wands would be interpreted negatively in a relationship (romantic, platonic, etc. Etc.). 6 of wands is usually a card of celebration and pride. It depicts people being pumped over passing the struggles in the 5 of wands and basically revving up to go on the proactive offense in the 7 of wands.

When talking about a single person, I can see it's connection to someone being very full of themselves and overly proud/pompous but how could this be shown as a dynamic between two people?

Part of me was thinking that maybe it had to do with someone being placed on a pedestal? Or maybe a connection based entirely on excitement and high energy, preventing there from being more quiet times for people to connect?
 

Adriana

Pride, feeling superior maybe. Or that you take someone for granted (the guy seems to expect those people being there when he returns). Putting someone on a pedestal not being realistic.
 

spookyboo22

Big egos can be at play with this. The person may want to be adored when they've done little to warrant it x
 

jenster

Interesting question.

I have never thought about it in this light but let me try.

I think, for me, it could reflect those relationships where either one or both people have at least a dose of narcissism and see in the other something that confirms their belief of being superior or better than "others". It could be either because they see in each other someone as superior as they think they are or someone who functions as fuel for their belief by acting like a fan. Like the stereotypical queen bee's friends in highschool movies.

It could be a dynamic duo or a mutual admiration society that certainly gives a bit of a high to the people involved and detachment from reality.

I think it isn't a really negative card but simply carries with it the dangers that being self involved or self congratulatory have in any other situation. Except not in any extreme forms. A warning maybe, but not something grave and ominous.
 

DDwarks

Im thinking "trophy wife" kind of situation.
So it wouldn't just be arrogance and needing your life to match the idea you have of yourself but a need for gratification steming from a lack of self worth or self belief.
Perhaps even a desire to prove people wrong or make them "eat their words".
 

Enlightenment23

I've seen the 6 of Wands as a negative in my own relationship spreads way too often. So I can help you for sure!

1. One or both partners are more concerned about the "appearance" of their relationship rather than the relationship itself. They are the type of people to put their romance on display on social media, show off that they're in a perfect relationship and seemingly in love. "Showing off" their relationship status is very important to them.

2. One or both of the partners are more concerned with themselves than the actual duality of the relationship. A good relationship, if you ask me, requires some elements of selflessness and sacrifice to maintain its longevity. A 6 of Wands partner is too full of himself to care about his partner's needs. He just expects his partner to cater to his own needs.

3. I've seen this card to signify personal conquest. Perhaps one or both partners are only concerned with finally "achieving" this person - whether that means getting that person in their bed or having them in the palm of their hands. They see their partner as a trophy to win, which means they'll eventually move on to find their next award.

4. This is a BIG pride card. One or both of partners feel as if they are too prideful to ask for help or show vulnerability. So when a big argument occurs, for example, the 6 of Wands would never in heck apologize first because they have too much pride. They will also refuse to show that they need help or anything like that because it would chip away at their ego and pride.

Hope these help!
 

Grizabella

First I want to point out that this card, with this positional meaning, is a good example of a card you'd read as reversed, since the card is to indicate something negative. Just thought I'd toss that in there to help with those who question how to know when a card should be read reversed if you don't actually use reversed cards. :)

There's a type of person who would have the attitude: "You love me? Well that's great because I love me, too. We have so much in common!" It's all about them. About their appearance, wanting others to be envious of them, needing to always be right, their partner always needing to keep up appearances so they look good---you get the idea, right? :)
 

Pique Dame

Someone is focused only on themselves and their own needs rather than the needs of the whole relationship unit.
 

BeyondtheVeil

I agree with the others, but I also have my own take on this card as a negative.

It could mean that being successful in the relationship isn't really a good thing. Maybe there is abuse or it's stopping you from moving/growing? So, it can also mean that the negative is that it IS successful as you should move on to someone else.


Brightest Blessings!
BeyondtheVeil
 

obeygravity

Thank you everyone for your feedback! Here's just some for now but will be back to give other responses!

@jenstar: a lot of the musing is specifically for positional readings where the question may be "what is a flaw in the relationship" or "what may be unhealthy about the relationship". I'm a big believer that not all cards are inherently good or bad and have have it ups and downs depending on things. Similar to a card like 9 of cups, if I were to see it in a position about an unhealthy relationship, my knee jerk would be that there's a lot of dreaming but not a lot of doing, alternatively it could be someone with high standards. But the mean girl analogy that you gave us especially interesting, especially because the 6 of Wands usually shows a single person leading the parade so I can definitely see that!

@Enlightenment23: those are a lot of really fascinating break downs of the potentially negative aspects and will definitely keep them noted!!!

@BeyondtheVeil: I never thought to think of that card that way but I guess if you think everything is perfect as is then of course you wouldn't think of improving anything. There are definitely times when people get involved with someone and end up just coasting because there's no real push for improvement or growth. I can also see the abuse aspect. Maybe someone being fixated on always being praised. It could also I guess be seen as someone with a bit of a god complex "I made you the way you are so you owe me everything" kind of deal.