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10 of Cups rx/3 of Cups rx for improving communication

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JDusk  JDusk is offline
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10 of Cups rx/3 of Cups rx for improving communication


Hi everyone,

This is from an 8 card spread with Deviant Moon addressing my relationship with my dad, especially our communication issues. I am in my early 20s and living with my parents so I expect it to be a bit awkward at times, but things have been really uncomfortable lately - it feels like our communication is completely blocked and I feel like I can't even have a straightforward conversation with him (which felt reinforced when I drew the Moon for "our current relationship" - there's a complete lack of transparency, even dishonesty). For "what's currently blocking our communication" I drew 8 of pentacles, which I mostly connected to him being really overworked, but I also don't think he's particularly happy with my choice of work, and both create tension. (This is just for context.)

In response to that, I asked "how can I unblock/improve our communication," and I drew 10 of cups rx. My instinct to it was basically, "you can't" - that coming back together as a happy family is not currently possible. To clarify, I drew 3 of cups rx. This scene seems similar to 10 of cups and I feel like it's just reiterating that there is a lack of joy, camaraderie, and emotional connection between us that I can't currently get past. But I don't feel like all hope is lost, yet, and I'm not asking how to communicate perfectly with him, just do something to improve things.

My second thought was maybe that it's telling me I shouldn't have unrealistic expectations about how much I can improve our relationship (no idealized family dynamic), and should just focus on basics. Any thoughts?
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tarotdpw  tarotdpw is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JDusk View Post
I asked "how can I unblock/improve our communication," and I drew 10 of cups rx. My instinct to it was basically, "you can't" - that coming back together as a happy family is not currently possible. To clarify, I drew 3 of cups rx. This scene seems similar to 10 of cups and I feel like it's just reiterating that there is a lack of joy, camaraderie, and emotional connection between us that I can't currently get past. But I don't feel like all hope is lost, yet, and I'm not asking how to communicate perfectly with him, just do something to improve things.
I think that your reading of the situation is correct. The 10 reversed are telling you that something is blocking you and your dad from connecting, but I think the 3 is telling you that this disconnect is coming from a third party. Right now there are external issues keeping you two apart, but these are minor arcana cards, meaning that the issue will ade with time. My sugggestion is to keep communication open and continue to treat your father with love and respect.
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myrrhmyrrh  myrrhmyrrh is offline
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I pulled 10 cups rx the other day and went back to my Mary Greer to he figure it out as it didn't make a lot of sense to me at the time and I read that it can mean being scapegoated or being the odd one out within a familial context.

For me 3cups Rx means that this is not a situation where just going out to relax for an evening together and maybe a drink is going to help the situation so yes, I think at this time it's not possible according to the cards, and concur with JDusk for the rest of the advice.
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Alacrael  Alacrael is offline
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Hi JDusk,

A really interesting combination of cards.
I wanted to share a few thoughts in the hopes that it might help to illuminate the situation.

1. Personally, I find that it is incredibly rare for the Tarot to give an answer which essentially equates to "no solution," or "no hope." That being said, you know the situation far better than I do, and I do not suggest throwing out your interpretation by any means, but I think there's some hidden positivity and maybe even a suggestion of a course of action buried in the two cards there.

2. Looking at the reversed cards' suits, we see that both are cups. Cups relate to water and emotions. I found it interesting that they should reveal themselves in response to a question which was asked specifically about communication, to which we might expect swords to pop up, since they relate specifically to communication, logic, and air.
To me, this suggests that maybe the issues affecting you and your father, though they may be rooted in things like work (which is well represented by the pentacles), have begun to take a more emotional turn. In other words, regardless of how any disagreements or blockages in communication may have started, it seems that things are now possibly much more about the feelings of those involved, and less about the events/choices which may have set things off.

3. Finally, I might read the reversed ten of cups as a "misalignment of values" in this context, which at first glance sounds like there is no way to find common ground between the disagreeing parties. But I think there is implied advice in the reversed ten. Is there anything you might be able to do to show your father that your values are still in reasonable accord with his and those of your family? He may disagree with the line of work you've chosen, but is there a way to help him see that you still hold the same dedication and values, and that you apply them to the areas of your life just the same?
For the reversed three, one of the interpretations I think could apply here is the concept that "three is a crowd." While I don't look at this too literally--there aren't three individuals in this question, after all--I think that the spirit or general feeling behind that sentiment might apply. The advice I might take from the reversed three might be to give some space to the parties involved and see if that helps to correct the situation.

Not sure if any of this will resonate with you, but I thought I'd throw in my two cents in case it adds any clarity! I hope the lines of communication open up again soon!
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JDusk  JDusk is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tarotdpw View Post
I think that your reading of the situation is correct. The 10 reversed are telling you that something is blocking you and your dad from connecting, but I think the 3 is telling you that this disconnect is coming from a third party. Right now there are external issues keeping you two apart, but these are minor arcana cards, meaning that the issue will ade with time. My sugggestion is to keep communication open and continue to treat your father with love and respect.
Thank you. I hadn't considered the issue of 3 of cups suggesting a third party is causing the disconnect - I can't think of anyone obvious who that would fit, but I'll keep that in mind.

Quote:
Originally Posted by myrrhmyrrh View Post
I pulled 10 cups rx the other day and went back to my Mary Greer to he figure it out as it didn't make a lot of sense to me at the time and I read that it can mean being scapegoated or being the odd one out within a familial context.

For me 3cups Rx means that this is not a situation where just going out to relax for an evening together and maybe a drink is going to help the situation so yes, I think at this time it's not possible according to the cards, and concur with JDusk for the rest of the advice.
Thank you. Being the odd one out is an interesting thing to mention - I wonder if he feels that way somewhat, not in terms of our extended family but between my parents and I, since my mom and I are very close and have similar worldviews, and I don't have the same common ground with him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alacrael View Post
Hi JDusk,

A really interesting combination of cards.
I wanted to share a few thoughts in the hopes that it might help to illuminate the situation.

1. Personally, I find that it is incredibly rare for the Tarot to give an answer which essentially equates to "no solution," or "no hope." That being said, you know the situation far better than I do, and I do not suggest throwing out your interpretation by any means, but I think there's some hidden positivity and maybe even a suggestion of a course of action buried in the two cards there.

2. Looking at the reversed cards' suits, we see that both are cups. Cups relate to water and emotions. I found it interesting that they should reveal themselves in response to a question which was asked specifically about communication, to which we might expect swords to pop up, since they relate specifically to communication, logic, and air.
To me, this suggests that maybe the issues affecting you and your father, though they may be rooted in things like work (which is well represented by the pentacles), have begun to take a more emotional turn. In other words, regardless of how any disagreements or blockages in communication may have started, it seems that things are now possibly much more about the feelings of those involved, and less about the events/choices which may have set things off.

3. Finally, I might read the reversed ten of cups as a "misalignment of values" in this context, which at first glance sounds like there is no way to find common ground between the disagreeing parties. But I think there is implied advice in the reversed ten. Is there anything you might be able to do to show your father that your values are still in reasonable accord with his and those of your family? He may disagree with the line of work you've chosen, but is there a way to help him see that you still hold the same dedication and values, and that you apply them to the areas of your life just the same?
For the reversed three, one of the interpretations I think could apply here is the concept that "three is a crowd." While I don't look at this too literally--there aren't three individuals in this question, after all--I think that the spirit or general feeling behind that sentiment might apply. The advice I might take from the reversed three might be to give some space to the parties involved and see if that helps to correct the situation.

Not sure if any of this will resonate with you, but I thought I'd throw in my two cents in case it adds any clarity! I hope the lines of communication open up again soon!
Thank you so much for this in-depth response! I think you're absolutely right that this is more of an emotional issue than what I guess you could call a logistical one. Very interesting that you mention "misalignment of values" as well - that's very in line with the card I drew for "how he perceives me" - Hierophant rx, which has that feeling of breaking with tradition (or not heeding his fatherly wisdom, for that matter!). You're also right that making it clear that I can still appreciate and follow his values of hard and dedicated work might help the situation.

"Three's a crowd" is one I have a harder time applying here, but thinking back on my response to tarotdpw's thought on "being the odd one out," if he feels excluded from the connection I have with my mother, or if we're having a difficult time keeping him in the loop, so to speak, I can see how that could cause communication issues - and how working on that group dynamic might help the situation.

Lots to think about, thanks again!
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