Domestic abuse cards

Pet Jeffery

Both the 5 of Swords and the Hierophant (the latter around control issues) occurred to me.

I'm not so sure about the 10 of Swords, which seems to me about reaching the bottom point, from which the only way is up. Domestic abuse is (at least usually) more of ongoing and repeated maltreatment -- never reaching that bottom point.

The 9 of Swords seems to me to fit more closely with domestic abuse.
 

caridwen

Domestic abuse is (at least usually) more of ongoing and repeated maltreatment -- never reaching that bottom point.

In the UK a woman will have been attacked on average 35 times before she reaches out for help. So you are right about it being ongoing - that does not include how long it has taken for her abuser to groom her which may have been years.

There is a bottom point however and that is death. On average 2 women a week are murdered by their violent partners.

That's the UK. Some countries are considerably higher for example in Russia there is a gender genocide going on and the figures run into their thousands.
 

caridwen

empress/8swords or empress/devil
I know a lot of people will be surprised by the 'empress' card, but the empress card can at times look like the perfect nurturing mother, but behind the scenes she can be quite a control freak too. a bit smothering and sometimes smothering can develop into a form of abuse....

King Swords with again the 8 of swords

queen of wands is also a card that I could see as indicating a person who is abusive. however, i see this queen as more of a manipulator and not actual physical abuse--more of a person who will play behind the scenes and plant seeds of destruction to lure her prey into.

I'm sure there are other combinations of cards that could read some sort of domestic abuse, given the right setting, but these were what came to mind immediately for me.

I agree that there are some very controlling women and the Empress can be overpowering.

From what I have learned so far, Domestic Abuse is all about mind control and mind games. This is something I had not known and was very surprised. I thought DV was about women with poor self esteem meeting abusive men and getting abused. I didn't realise it took years to groom victims into compliance, that they got their victims pregnant in order to further control them and then their children.

Although of course abuse is not just partner abuse sons abuse their mothers, uncles abuse their neices and fathers or mothers abuse their children.
 

celticnoodle

I know many abused people that 20yrs ago and even today, honestly, it was hidden and not known as abuse. parents who verbally and emotionally abuse their children, not just physical abuse, but mental abuse. children abuse their parents, siblings abuse siblings and I even know of grandchildren who abused their grandparents. truly sad! educating people is the first step of getting a grip on abuse. your site that you posted earlier is a good start for that. it's a very delicate issue to acknowledge and overcome. but it is something that can be corrected, and the abused can be 'healed' if caught in time.

yes, it is more then just men abusing women with little self esteem. it comes in many shapes and sizes. and even the lovely person, like that portrayed in the Empress card, can be a terror behind closed doors!
 

caridwen

I know many abused people that 20yrs ago and even today, honestly, it was hidden and not known as abuse. parents who verbally and emotionally abuse their children, not just physical abuse, but mental abuse. children abuse their parents, siblings abuse siblings and I even know of grandchildren who abused their grandparents. truly sad! educating people is the first step of getting a grip on abuse. your site that you posted earlier is a good start for that. it's a very delicate issue to acknowledge and overcome. but it is something that can be corrected, and the abused can be 'healed' if caught in time.

yes, it is more then just men abusing women with little self esteem. it comes in many shapes and sizes. and even the lovely person, like that portrayed in the Empress card, can be a terror behind closed doors!

Parents who abuse their children is a separate issue and is generally known as Child Abuse not Domestic Abuse/Violence.

Domestic Abuse is generally men abusing women - we are talking young women and adults not children.

The majority of cases are men abusing women but there are a small minority of cases of women abusing men.

Just to be clear:

Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence.
http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm
 

tarotcognito

I can totally see the Empress as indicative of an abusive situation.

I'd love to get Freud's spin on that. :p
 

rachelcat

8 of Swords leading to 9 of Swords. You allow yourself to be tied up in and by someone else's distorted world view until it becomes recurring, and recurring, nightmare that is very difficult to wake yourself up from.
 

caridwen

8 of Swords leading to 9 of Swords. You allow yourself to be tied up in and by someone else's distorted world view until it becomes recurring, and recurring, nightmare that is very difficult to wake yourself up from.

I don't think victims of any type of violence allow themselves to be abused.

Domestic Violence is often a long process which starts off like any other relationship, though I'm sure there are signs in retrospct. The abuser wears away at the woman in any number of self esteem eroding ways and she becomes isolated and cut off from support. Once she is petrified or dominated the beating begins and escalates. Sometimes there is no physical violence but threats to her friends or family. pets or children.

You don't allow abuse to happen to you as that implies consent.
 

caridwen

I can totally see the Empress as indicative of an abusive situation.

I'd love to get Freud's spin on that. :p

I think most people are aware of Freud's spin on women. Yes there are some cases of women abusing men. Those are in the minority though just as serious.
 

tarotcognito

I think most people are aware of Freud's spin on women. Yes there are some cases of women abusing men. Those are in the minority though just as serious.
Sorry, caridwen, if my comment sounded flip - it wasn't meant to be. I was just thinking out loud. I shoot my mouth off sometimes without thinking. :p