Bit of advice...

Hey All,

So i've been doing a few more face to face readings and i've had a few 'difficult' questions thrown at me. The questions that were asked, to me felt like pretty big decisions to be made.

I did tell the people that I was reading for, that the tarot cards are just to be used as a consulting process, something to ponder on/ or about and that I was still learning....

So my question is: When you were still in that learning phase and people asked difficult questions how did you deal with that situation? To me, It felt natural to pull a few more clarifying questions + go with my own feelings....

I guess we can't always be accurate and turn down every 'difficult' question someone throws at you. Yes, i'm well aware if something feels TOO out of my depth... I just won't answer it and state why....

Any advice would be handy

Cheers,
SB

I don't worry about it anymore. And for myself the cards are not "just" for a counseling use. They do predict future things. I think some folks are just afraid of reading about the future because they're afraid they'll look stupid if they're wrong about it. That's a whole other topic, though, so I won't go into it now.

I don't use clarifiers or shadow or quint cards and don't believe in "jumpers" but when the sitter has more questions, I just draw cards for further answers. I usually don't strictly limit the time the people who get readings from me because at this time I don't have people lined up at my door for readings. I live in an out-of-the-way place where there aren't lots of people living. But what I do is a 30 minute reading and within that 30 minutes I make sure the sitter gets a chance to ask all the questions they have. That way they don't go away confused or full of uncertainties.

Thanks for that! It makes sense!

I guess I need to trust my own intuition with that!
As soon as I doubt it, that's when things are a little weird... lol

In my own experience, you really need to be careful when asked a difficult question. I will often remind my customers that I am not a qualified lawyer/therapist/doctor/whatever. I will tell them that I can offer guidance based on what I see in the cards, but I still suggest seeing a qualified professional regarding certain matters. If you're starting a business and reading for other people, it will help to either make them sign a waiver explaining that you're a Tarot reader and that you always suggest people see qualified professionals regarding particularly difficult issues. Just to kind of protect yourself, you know?

I agree with Grizabella about not pulling clarifiers or anything. The cards that come up in the spread are the cards that are supposed to be there. The message there is clear and complete, as long as you trust your intuition.

as long as you have reminded them that you are interpreting the cards as you see them and are not professional in this area and this area, etc, it's for them to take the reading and use as they please. There is an element of free will!

They want to know the difficult questions answers and that is what they are paying for. The professional readers on here often say that most of the people often ignore their advice anyway and come back constantly!

We can only say what we see, they take from it and what they do next is their own choice.

sometimes long rambling 4part questions need to be narrowed down and clarified...

What I say is, "The cards will never tell us what to do." That generally makes everyone relax.

Also, it's okay to offer some thoughts, and then ask them, "What do you see in these cards?" And usually, the anxious querent breathes and just lets everything spill out, and the story tells itself. (If not, then the querent might not be ready for a reading.)

What a great question.... my clients always come to me with such broad grandiose questions, I say to them lets get to the real question, we talk a bit and come up with what they really wanted to ask. I do not allow my clients to ask yes/no question, the looks on their faces are priceless. But again we work together to come up with a good question. With new clients I always warn them, do not ask a question that you do not want to hear the answer, or possible outcomes. You are right and I say the same thing, my readings gives you insights, a different way to see things, a heads up, I help you to take your blinders off. The future is not written in stone, I do not tell fotunes, or predict the future.

starburst_au said:

So my question is: When you were still in that learning phase and people asked difficult questions how did you deal with that situation?

Click to expand...

Well, you said yourself that you pointed out that a reading wasn't a command, it was merely something for them to think about, then make their own decision.

Fairly frequently I do readings for people in abusive relationships. They should leave. I can't tell them to leave. I can only spread the cards and say "If you stay it is more of the same (or) it likely will get worse, but if you leave it will be bliss (or) it will be hard at first but you'll be glad you did it" (or whatever the cards indicate).

Really, it's the querent's choice what they do. It's your job to find out what thinks are likely to be like if they make no changes, and to identify the changes they can make that will improve things for them. Doesn't matter whether you're learning or not (and I'm still learning after more than thirty years) - that's still your job.

If you're just learning, it's perfectly acceptable to tell people that, or to tell them that you don't feel confident reading about major topics just yet.

Personally, I tend to add a disclaimer that the Tarot is a guiding tool and explain a little bit about it. The way I read tends to be about what's likely to happen if people do something and advice on whether it can be changed and how, so I explain that as well. Unlike what Grizabella said, I don't feel particularly ashamed that it may not come true, I just don't like the idea that everything we read about is set in stone and that nothing can be changed. I think that some things can't be changed, but others probably can.

When people are asking me about decisions, I usually try to help them come up with a reading that covers different courses of action and what may happen if they go down those paths. I think that helps, since sometimes people really just want to talk to someone about their options.