Has tarot replaced communication...

214red said:

one of the things i think as readers we are sometimes (am including myself in this) at fault for is using the cards to ask questions we should be asking the person. I also think we use the card sometimes to see if what someone told us was the truth, its like were not using our intuition/gut instinct we are doubting what we feel, instead trusting the cards to tell us something we already know.

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This is the VERY reason why i don't do third party readings. Don't ask ME what he thinks - ask him.

Not to mention when people want the cards to contradict what the person said. He said no - she comes to me and asks what he really means or really feels, in hope i'll say "he actually meant yes, you know, he's insecure blah blah blah."

I already ranted enough here in the forum on why i don't do third-party reading, and had enough rotten tomatoes thrown at me so i'd rather not go down this road again. But i do agree that people are becoming more and more fearful of experiencing, without realizing that both the good and bad experiences are important in our lives.

Yes, i do believe that asking "what does he think of me" or "what is she doing" IS intrusive. And useless. There's nothing you can do with this information except speculate and turn little things in big monsters. I know that - believe me, i have fretted over readings about how Mr. I-Wish-Was-Right felt about me and what would he do if we met and and and... it made me confused and depressed, because not only i couldn't understand the information, it also made me anxious because nothing could be done about what he felt or which would his reaction be.

I think a good reading is the one that gives the querent tools to do actually something - "how can i approach him" or "how can i make my relationship with her more open". If you are afraid of the next experience, instead of asking about the other, why not asking about the reasons behind your fear?

The problem is that people are too much interested in others, and too afraid to look inside themselves.

Thanks Marina for the post!

i wish one deck would come out with a 'he/she doesnt give a damn about you' card, and a 'why you asking me again, i already told you' card

Marina said:

I already ranted enough here in the forum on why i don't do third-party reading, and had enough rotten tomatoes thrown at me so i'd rather not go down this road again.

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You did ? I wish I'd been there - I feel JUST as you do !

Marina said:

Yes, i do believe that asking "what does he think of me" or "what is she doing" IS intrusive. And useless. There's nothing you can do with this information except speculate and turn little things in big monsters.

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Exactly.

Marina said:

I think a good reading is the one that gives the querent tools to do actually something - "how can i approach him" or "how can i make my relationship with her more open".

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Yes and, in my firm believe, that's empowering way of reading versus victim mentality of "what does he think of me" .
I don't care being throw rotten tomatoes at (wouldn't be the first time ), but i wonder, given that we have around all these presumably super-powerful-mind-readers, how come they haven't made their first million yet? Why do they complain about being sick and broke, if they have access to other people's minds and thus can read all the info they need for their own progress and betterment?
I'd rather stick to readings in first person singular - and (to keep on topic) what i need to know about others, will try to learn through regular ways of information, if they are willing to share that information and if i am meant to know it.
I know what you mean by questions like "does he mean yes given that he's been saying NO last five years?" Yeah, sure...

214red said:

Do we use tarot to ask questions we would never ask a person face to face (or via email etc), if you do, why?

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I ask the tarot questions I would not ask someone face to face. Recently I asked why a woman didn't respond to my emails. I couldn't ask her face to face because it would have been rude to. She was a professional contact not a personal friend to ask those kinds of questions to.


*Note: this is just my observation*
The more I started to observe on here, the more I began to realize that there are others who are also on the same boat. Some people don't ask because they don't want to seem pushy or rude. Especially when the person in question is someone they barely know and asking would be a big turn off to the other person. Some people are in the unfortunate position of dealing with (and still caring for) people who simply refuse to give answers for one reason or another. Then there are the few who seem to simply trust tarot more than the actual person.

olivia1 said:

I ask the tarot questions I would not ask someone face to face. Recently I asked why a woman didn't respond to my emails. I couldn't ask her face to face because it would have been rude to. She was a professional contact not a personal friend to ask those kinds of questions to.

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I asked 'what's for lunch today' (had lunch at my parents) because i was too lazy to get to the phone!
But both of these are benign imo.

gregory said:

You did ? I wish I'd been there - I feel JUST as you do !

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Oh Gregory, you'd have loved it there. Me and a couple of other people under a storm of "i don't care i use the cards the way i damn well please and knowledge is power and yadda yadda". It huuurt.

moderndayruth said:

Yes and, in my firm believe, that's empowering way of reading versus victim mentality of "what does he think of me" .
I don't care being throw rotten tomatoes at (wouldn't be the first time ), but i wonder, given that we have around all these presumably super-powerful-mind-readers, how come they haven't made their first million yet? Why do they complain about being sick and broke, if they have access to other people's minds and thus can read all the info they need for their own progress and betterment? :

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The other is a mystery. That's my opinion. When my mother asks me how can i let my boyfriend be so carefree - that means giving him room to cheat on me - i tell her that he's a mystery, but i trust him. But if he really wants to cheat on me, he will do so, no matter what i do. Because i don't control him, nor his thoughts, nor his actions. I can't be a 100% sure that he won't betray me, i can only trust that he won't and don't give him reasons to.

I use the same philosophy when it comes to third-party reading. You can never be 100% about the other - their thoughts, their reasons, their whys. You can never know if that Tower means they want to break up with your sitter or if it just means they are desperate because things are falling apart at his job, and this is reflecting on his love life. Because people are that complex and you have to respect that complexity.

And you are right about the victim mentality implied in such questions. There people put themselves in a position in which the world revolves around them while they remain still in the middle. That's not how it works. If you want something, you gotta face your fears, get up and do it. Third-party questions encourage people to be passive.

olivia1 said:

I ask the tarot questions I would not ask someone face to face. Recently I asked why a woman didn't respond to my emails. I couldn't ask her face to face because it would have been rude to. She was a professional contact not a personal friend to ask those kinds of questions to.


*Note: this is just my observation*
The more I started to observe on here, the more I began to realize that there are others who are also on the same boat. Some people don't ask because they don't want to seem pushy or rude. Especially when the person in question is someone they barely know and asking would be a big turn off to the other person. Some people are in the unfortunate position of dealing with (and still caring for) people who simply refuse to give answers for one reason or another. Then there are the few who seem to simply trust tarot more than the actual person.

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sometimes you cant ask the person, i understand and i am not saying i never do that...but only in a tiny amount of cases, and still i would happily ask them face to face if i could.

if something is a turn off for someone, why do you think its okay to ask the cards that question? isnt it pushy and rude gaining information using tarot that you wouldnt gain another way?

i am not attacking you, i am just wondering if we think that tarot can bypass our morals, principles etc just because people cant tell we are doing it? should we still play these to tarot?

moderndayruth said:

I asked 'what's for lunch today' (had lunch at my parents) because i was too lazy to get to the phone!
But both of these are benign imo.

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lazy cow!! joking

i do have to admit to hearing my phone go off, and since i had my cardsi flung one out to see if i should bother to go upstairs and answer my phone...

moderndayruth said:

I asked 'what's for lunch today' (had lunch at my parents) because i was too lazy to get to the phone!
But both of these are benign imo.

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And were the cards right ? And did it matter ??