goldnchyl said:
Okay, so I'm not sure where this fits in with everything but it seems to be a recurring issue for me. My original thought when things like this happen are that I need to humble myself and not be such a credit-hog. Just be thankful that what I've offered has been useful. But this massive ego of mine just has a bit a struggle with that. Probably more because I have an underlying feeling that I don't offer much value so I do want to be noticed when I do contribute something useful. I know that this is false but it's an old conditioning. And the fact that this kind of thing happens relatively often makes me feel that this is an important lesson for me. If any of you have some insight, please share.
Dear Goldnchyl,
It depends on what is happening.... I've had this happen too, I'm honest about how much annoyed I could be if I don't even get a thank you and I just massively helped somebody.... and then a few weeks later I hear them brag to *others* how good I am.
This annoys me as this is behavior my mother does all the time... once I realized that I'm dealing with it much better. I was mostly a number 2 person.
However, it could be several things that could be going on.
1) You want
Credit. You want other people to know how wonderful you did and you want your ego to feel good.
-- If this is the case, ask yourself honestly why you want other people to know how wonderful you did.
2) You want
Affirmation. You want other people to tell you how wonderful you are, have a good feeling about yourself, confirm that your contributions are worthwhile.
-- If this is a case, it's more a question of self-esteem and wanting others to build it up for you. Only you can make yourself wonderful, so if you put it as a condition that others should tell you... you are bound to feel upset often when they don't comply with that expectation.
3) You want
Admiration, you want others to admire you and ask for more help.
-- This is also a case of Ego... if you strive to make others less, ultimately you are going to feel less too.
Hoping you will find out what it is exactly and then take appropriate measures because I know from experience how it can sour your whole day!
Kahlie