SWWF ~ Healing Work Group ~ The Rarr ~ Kahlie & goldnchyl & Jewel

goldnchyl

First off, Tabi your assessement of me working with water being healing for me and probably Arbolon were right on sista!

Okay, so I'm not sure where this fits in with everything but it seems to be a recurring issue for me. My original thought when things like this happen are that I need to humble myself and not be such a credit-hog. Just be thankful that what I've offered has been useful. But this massive ego of mine just has a bit a struggle with that. Probably more because I have an underlying feeling that I don't offer much value so I do want to be noticed when I do contribute something useful. I know that this is false but it's an old conditioning. And the fact that this kind of thing happens relatively often makes me feel that this is an important lesson for me. If any of you have some insight, please share.

In case you're wondering, Jewel, it was I who posted the insight on water work.

Kahlie

goldnchyl said:
Okay, so I'm not sure where this fits in with everything but it seems to be a recurring issue for me. My original thought when things like this happen are that I need to humble myself and not be such a credit-hog. Just be thankful that what I've offered has been useful. But this massive ego of mine just has a bit a struggle with that. Probably more because I have an underlying feeling that I don't offer much value so I do want to be noticed when I do contribute something useful. I know that this is false but it's an old conditioning. And the fact that this kind of thing happens relatively often makes me feel that this is an important lesson for me. If any of you have some insight, please share.

Dear Goldnchyl,

It depends on what is happening.... I've had this happen too, I'm honest about how much annoyed I could be if I don't even get a thank you and I just massively helped somebody.... and then a few weeks later I hear them brag to *others* how good I am.
This annoys me as this is behavior my mother does all the time... once I realized that I'm dealing with it much better. I was mostly a number 2 person.

However, it could be several things that could be going on.

1) You want Credit. You want other people to know how wonderful you did and you want your ego to feel good.
-- If this is the case, ask yourself honestly why you want other people to know how wonderful you did.

2) You want Affirmation. You want other people to tell you how wonderful you are, have a good feeling about yourself, confirm that your contributions are worthwhile.
-- If this is a case, it's more a question of self-esteem and wanting others to build it up for you. Only you can make yourself wonderful, so if you put it as a condition that others should tell you... you are bound to feel upset often when they don't comply with that expectation.

3) You want Admiration, you want others to admire you and ask for more help.
-- This is also a case of Ego... if you strive to make others less, ultimately you are going to feel less too.

Hoping you will find out what it is exactly and then take appropriate measures because I know from experience how it can sour your whole day!

Kahlie

Kahlie

goldnchyl said:
I've been doing a lot of internal work. I'm definitely being led to access and accept my personal power. The Rarr is extremely helpful in clearing out clutter (thoughts, things, whatever). All it takes for me is to allow it. I've noticed a bit of resistance in accepting my own power but this realization is great!

Indeed it is! Ascension for all three of us is happening here. I must say that I'm incredibly honored to work with the 2 of you and to see how the energy flow is going in both helpful information, love, care and power to all of us.

Incidentally one of my daily draws was: "Alone you make a great Impact, Together you have the force of Heaven behind you". Made me think of this group and how we are doing so well

Making big leaps and bounds for all of us.

goldnchyl said:
Now, I can pinpoint exactly what my conversation is about personal power and clear out the old and outdated. It's happening and I keep getting these little glimpses of a self I'm not so familiar with. A free-spirited, confident, trusting me. Small glimpses at a time are fine. Transformation is a process. Working with you all is so helpful in keeping me focused. I send light and love constantly as we all reach for the highest possibilities. Even though I've heard it a million times, I'm internalizing the reality that it's about shifting and consciously choosing thoughts. It's a moment by moment process moving away from old habitual thinking, to this new prosperity filled stream of thought. What a tremendous gift humanity is discovering.

Certainly. I mostly use EFT to release old behaviors while I use analyzing techniques, intuition and other stuff to see which old behaviors are mucking up my life.

I've noticed the tremendous help and response I've gotten from others. I've just opened my mailbox and several highly placed websites (Page Rank if it says something to you) told me that they are willing to link to me!

Kahlie

Jewel

goldnchyl said:
In case you're wondering, Jewel, it was I who posted the insight on water work.

My deepest apoligies, I come online at work and have a million things going on, so sometimes I do not proof everything I read - particularly if I get interrupted or the phone rings (which happens often). Poor excuse, and I will refrain from posting if I don't have time to proof to ensure this does not happen again. I stand corrected, and I am very sorry to have caused you to be upset.

Personally I think you contribute more than you give yourself credit for. I have found much value in many of your posts.

I hope you accept my sincere apology, and thank you very much for your insight into working with water as it was INCREDIBLY helpful and huge part of a solution to my shielding problems. I know how it feels, to feel discounted, and I never wanted to be the cause of anyone feeling that was as I do value and appreciate advice that is given me. I will go find the post and correct it.

P.S. think I corrected the right post.

goldnchyl

Truly no apologies needed. I sent you a PM Jewel just to let you know that I only wrote the comment because I want to get past this feeling. I want to learn to be more selfless because I desire the best for us all. It shouldn't matter who said what as long as it's beneficial and that's all I'm wanting out of this conversation. Some insight.

goldnchyl

You want Credit. You want other people to know how wonderful you did and you want your ego to feel good.
-- If this is the case, ask yourself honestly why you want other people to know how wonderful you did. You want Affirmation. You want other people to tell you how wonderful you are, have a good feeling about yourself, confirm that your contributions are worthwhile.
-- If this is a case, it's more a question of self-esteem and wanting others to build it up for you. Only you can make yourself wonderful, so if you put it as a condition that others should tell you... you are bound to feel upset often when they don't comply with that expectation.

3) You want Admiration, you want others to admire you and ask for more help.
-- This is also a case of Ego... if you strive to make others less, ultimately you are going to feel less too.

Hoping you will find out what it is exactly and then take appropriate measures because I know from experience how it can sour your whole day!

All of the above. But I am aware. I want other people to know how wonderful I did because I never feel that I've given enough. Never given what I'm truly capable of and that feeling fires my ego up when I don't get the little credit I think I deserve. It is definitely an ego thing. I'm also learning more about receiving. I don't receive easily because of esteem issues and this blocks gifts on many levels but I am growing with this. I recently left an emotionally abusive relationship and really just started working on me. Even though the relationship did its damage, low self esteem has been growing for a good portion of my life. I'm very excited about me these days and all of the spiritual gifts that have come my way are providing a lovely, winding road of discovery for me. Much of the "me" of the past is evolving into the "me" of my dreams. So, I will ask and seek advice and anything necessary for the clearing of stagnant energy so that I can go with the flow towards the highest heights!

Jewel

goldnchyl said:
Truly no apologies needed. I sent you a PM Jewel just to let you know that I only wrote the comment because I want to get past this feeling. I want to learn to be more selfless because I desire the best for us all. It shouldn't matter who said what as long as it's beneficial and that's all I'm wanting out of this conversation. Some insight.

Yeah, but being the one who made those feelings arise in you does not make one feel too good, so I wanted to rectify the mistake. When I am wrong I say I am wrong, and when possible try to rectify the situation. I strive to be honest and fair. Like you, I posted because I felt the need to. No harm done, if people don't talk nothing ever gets resolved.

Communication can help dissapate those feelings on both sides, as it clears up mis-understandings and "hurt" (for lack of a better word) feelings.

goldnchyl

I've noticed the tremendous help and response I've gotten from others. I've just opened my mailbox and several highly placed websites (Page Rank if it says something to you) told me that they are willing to link to me!

Kahlie, this is something to be really proud of. I'm sure you know to keep envisioning the whole of what you want, be specific, and you will find success beyond your wildest dreams. Just receive it. It's there for you. How wonderful!

goldnchyl

Communication can help dissapate those feelings on both sides, as it clears
up mis-understandings and "hurt" (for lack of a better word) feelings.

Here, here!

But just so know, I wasn't really hurt. It opened an opportunity for me to look deeper into what makes me tick so it's a good thing. And when someone's intention is loving, it's always good. So, thank you again.

Jewel

goldnchyl said:
I recently left an emotionally abusive relationship and really just started working on me. Even though the relationship did its damage, low self esteem has been growing for a good portion of my life. I'm very excited about me these days and all of the spiritual gifts that have come my way are providing a lovely, winding road of discovery for me. Much of the "me" of the past is evolving into the "me" of my dreams. So, I will ask and seek advice and anything necessary for the clearing of stagnant energy so that I can go with the flow towards the highest heights!

Then standing up for yourself and speaking out is a big step for you. Your ego needs nourishment right now, and it is ok to ask for it when you know you deserve it. You never said anything rude, you just pointed out the facts, there is no harm in that. That you were willing to do it is to be applauded.

Self-esteem is a very delicate thing, and rebuilding it is harder than loosing it. Keep up the good fight. By recognizing what you need to work on you are already healing and on the right path. You know you don't want to be an ego-maniac, so I don't think you are in danger of going to the extreme.

Its all good, you are doing good, just think through the why's and take it from there at your own pace. Rome was not built in a day.