"Why does the Liber-T make me anxious?"

Thread-title suggested by someone I was talking to in PMs. Anxious is perhaps the wrong word - perhaps ambivalent is better. So why does the Liber-T make me ambivalent?

The story so far: I decided that I needed a Liber-T and/or a Thoth, and both of them have been on my wish-list for ages. Given that the Thoth is becoming unobtainable and I have no funds, the Liber-T was a more realistic wish, and likely to be long-term before I actually got it.

So I apparently won one of those competitions where people suggest the person they want to win rather than competing in their own right, without my even knowing it had been run (thank you, whoever suggested me). The person who ran it, who had a Liber-T on the list of prize decks, said they'd send me something else, because they didn't think the Liber-T was my sort of thing. I said I'd been looking for it for a while, and I ended up with *both* decks, which was a wholly un-looked-for and wholly welcome outcome!

The other deck is sitting there, doing its stuff, humming along nicely.

I was delighted with the Liber-T. Now, my familiarity with the original Thoth images is predicated on having seen half a dozen scans online (maybe), and seen a friend's copy in action, without actually feeling as though I could ask her "can I go through the deck please". I spent some time going through the deck, getting familiar with the images, playing with it, getting to know its feel. From the outset, having seen the other deck briefly, I found that the artwork of the Majors in particular had been simplified (I wasn't using the term dumbed-down, just with some detail removed and smoothed down into a plasticky look). And that was perfectly fine.

The Minors were quite compelling, much more interesting than what Minors I'd seen out of the Thoth. And I was having fun.

Now, two afternoons a week and one whole day a week, I read Tarot out of a cafe in a nearby town. I transport my two table-covers (a brightly-coloured under-cover and a translucent over-cover), my huge ornate half-hour hourglass, a paperback to read between clients, and my working decks, in a small wheelie-suitcase, popular amongst professionals and educators in Australia currently as a more convenient way of transporting paperwork than the traditional briefcase.

I tend to keep a fairly stable selection of decks in the bag, changing one or two of them every week - I like to work with about six on the table. A month or two ago I decided that at work I was going through a historically-significant-decks period, so the selection started including my one old Marseilles (I have a very recent one too), one of my Viscontis (I enjoy all of them, and rotate them), one of my close RW clones such as the blue-tartan-backed RW or the Golden or something, as well as Granny Jones and one other modern deck, which I rotate fairly frequently.

So the Liber-T, as the only representative of the Thoth family that I own, joined in and started living in my work-bag. So far, a client has chosen it for a reading only once, and it threw a competent reading that satisfied them (which I don't intend to discuss). I have also used time between readings to spend more time on it, and get to know it a bit better.

And here is my problem.

1) I love that I've got the deck, and I particularly love how I came by it.
2) The deck works for me, and works well.
3) I am getting comfortable with handling the deck, and I particularly love its backs, which are just stunning.

and lastly,

4) Unfortunately, the fronts aren't stunning. I am distressed. Distressed that I don't love it more.

The person I was PMing with thwapped me around the head with (no, not with the noodles - it wasn't Gregory), with my *own* Punative Tuna, that I occasionally thwap people with; and reminded me of the deck that I love the most, the Granny Jones Australian, how the artwork is far from gorgeous but the deck is deeper and much more satisfying than decks which are far more gorgeous, and how much I love it despite its artwork (actually, person, *because* of it, but I don't have time to explain that here).

So I was slightly comforted, and I will approach the deck again and see how I do. I don't have a problem reading with it, I seem to understand it.

I have no intention of ever getting rid of it.

I intend to keep it in the work-bag for the foreseeable future, and am happy for it to be chosen for readings.

I just ... have all this ambivalence about it ...

Anyone else the same?

Think Granny Jones' Justice.

We all have our faults. I find it stunning, myself.

I've thought several times about acquiring it but every time I look at scans of it I find myself wondering why. As a Crowley Thoth clone it seems pretty boring. If I looked deeper into it and learned more about what its creator had in mind by giving us another Thoth tarot I might appreciate it more, but I've just never been that interested.

Hmm, I don't think the Liber T makes me anxious, just kind of tired. I've tried reading with it before (only for myself) and it worked fine on a totally superficial level. I just have a lot of trouble approaching it at all intuitively because I know that there's so much more there that I'm unaware of. I got Scion's PDF and, although I do think its so incredibly well-reasearched (brillint even), I just don't have the time to delve that far into it.

So for now, when I look at the Liber T, all I see is the PDF and hear the word "decans" in my head (and I don't even know what that's all about!) and it just feels like trying to read Shakespeare in Chinese.

I do hope to have the time someday, and to give the Liber T the attention it deserves. But for now, there's just not enough time in the day.

Could that be part of your trouble with it, Nisaba? That you just know there's so much in there which could be uncovered, buy you just...don't want to? (like me! hehe)

(I'm sorry that this post is slightly off-topic.)

nisaba said:

Given that the Thoth is becoming unobtainable

Click to expand...

I thought you were kidding. "No way! The Thoth is one of the most well-known 'modern' decks! How could it be hard to find? She must be kidding," I thought. So I went off to look at every tarot resource I knew of.

Tarot Garden is sold out of every version I could find, and the few reasonably priced ones on Amazon start at $49. (With someone trying to sell a set for $900.)

Why would this monumental deck be so hard to find? I know I am nowhere near patience or diligent enough to truly appreciate this deck, so I never looked at its price before. I'm so sad. I guess I need to pick up a copy soon if I wish to have one at all. From what I saw of the Liber-T, I greatly preferred the Thoth.

So, is the Liber-T still in print and the Thoth isn't?

They've still got the standard and pocket Thoths on TarotChest at the same prices as they usually do .....

And so does tarotbear's lair. It is ONLY USG who have problems with it - a court case over copyright, I believe.

Perhaps I'm making too much of this. I'm finding that by admitting that I find it a bit of an ugly duckling, my heart is actually starting to go out to it a bit more. After all, we all know the potential of ugly ducklings to grow into something completely unexpected.

Sheesh, twelve hours later, I can hardly remember what all the fuss was about. I'm a little more hopeful at the moment.

nisaba said:

Perhaps I'm making too much of this. I'm finding that by admitting that I find it a bit of an ugly duckling, my heart is actually starting to go out to it a bit more. After all, we all know the potential of ugly ducklings to grow into something completely unexpected.

Click to expand...

And sometimes they grow into big ugly ducks

I fell about when I read that and what's more, it's true.

But then again, ducks are my very favourite birds so I don't care.