DellArtista
This spread I found on the forums here -- http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?t=92405 -- and thought it would be a good spread to start with for the PDR... jumping right in to look at myself, just as I'm studying the cards. (My deck for PDR is the Cosmic Tribe.)
I realize this is quite long & so although it is welcome, I wouldn't expect anyone to read it all or leave feedback... not all my PDR readings will be this long!
I reshuffled & cut with all cards after each set of 3 (I'm unsure if this technique is "correct" but I wanted to try... and of course one of the cards that has been following me around in all my readings thus showed up twice in this one!)
Thus the cards--
1. Who do I see when I look in the mirror? - Death
2. Who do others see when they look at me? - Star
3. Who am I beneath the surface? - 7 of Swords
1. What do I try to hide from myself? - 2 of Swords
2. What do I hide from others? - Art (Temperance)
3. What do I have in the deep shadows? - 3 of Swords
1. How do I face what I try to hide? - 5 of Swords
2. How do I show the world what I hide from them? - 2 of Swords
3. How do I look into the shadows of my soul? - 10 of Disks
*Interpretation/Reflections* - Oh, all those swords! They've been showing up frequently for me (the 2 of Swords nearly constantly!) in lots of readings lately... in the case of this reading, I think it's a special note on the significance of the intellect in my life on the positive side... and on the negative side, also about suffering -- and maybe that I put too much focus on that on myself, even without the help of those Swords showing up! Disks (Earth) showing up as the only other element in this spread (other than the majors & swords) seems to put extra illumination on it... maybe asking me in particular to focus on bringing all that mental energy back down to Earth.
1. The Death card in "who I see when I look in the mirror" is reflecting back to me that the first thing I see are my worries & fears! That even though I want transformation & change, the first thing I see is limitations & endings... perhaps how much I cling to the past & the baggage I carry? That I see myself as stuck, afraid that I'm a void in the darkness. When I'm not in a depression I think that I also see in myself the positive traits of the Scorpion, so that is fitting as well.
2. The Star in "who do others see when they look at me" I feel may be a reminder to see the positive sides of myself. I hope this means that others can see me as a light in the darkness, that I can be the calm for others in times of their need, that the traits I hate about myself can actually help & bring hope to others. (One of the most beautiful things in this card I see is one of the stars is literally sending beams of light to a flower slowly blooming, and thus the flower sends the light back to the stars...) Perhaps they see me as having healing gifts to offer. Definitely as an idealist & I may seem hard to reach oftentimes... so wrapped up in introversion. Going back to the idealism, I think I am also seen as someone who has their hopes rise easily & is easily disappointed or disappointed too much when they fall (falling stars...).
I think this card is a bit of an advice card to remind me that I can look at myself through the eyes of those friends I trust to help me see myself in a better light, to not be afraid to look for help from others to see hope.
3. 7 of Swords in "who am I beneath the surface" ... with the swords relating back to the mind is a general note on how I hide mental unwellness, or at least try too -- maybe too hard. & How I feel like a deceiver by compartmentalizing or hiding certain parts of myself. I think it's about my self-hatred issues underneath the surface & my habit of running & hiding from things -- both the "good" & "bad." It represents my fear of sharing any traits with the people who have treated me badly in the past... and maybe that I have more empathy for them then I know consciously. The six swords pictured in this card as sort of jagged clouds corrupting the new thought of one sword that still stands like it does in the ace of swords makes me think in particular about how I hold on to the things that have been said to me that are unhelpful to hold onto... and how it still impacts me.
4. 2 of Swords in "what do I try to hide from myself" -- Again, the above note on general swords applies. I think it means I hide instinct & intuition from myself, afraid of these parts of me because of other mental issues. That I keep balance & the "happy mediums" from myself. That I try my best to hide conflict from myself by looking for constant distraction -- but that means I end up hiding peace as well... also that I compartmentalize myself.
5. Art in "what do I try to hide from others?" almost made me want to laugh or cry out loud at how literally true this one is for me! Obvious & to the point -- in quite literal terms I definitely hide my art from others, keep it away from public view. More metaphorically it may also mean how I hide parts of myself that make the whole to others. (A recurring theme through the spread there?) I hide some of the most creative parts of myself, as well as quite a lot of feelings. (Relating back elementally to the fire & water represented in the card.) In terms of advice, it may mean that I need not only try to not hide & put away my art but that I should also create more, and not stifle it from the start.
6. 3 of Swords in "what do I have in the deep shadows" ... hidden heartbreak... a spot on card in the literal sense again. Pain still held onto from past relationships that couldn't last, and the words from it still echoing somewhere -- I feel like those are represented by each rose petal that surrounds this card, broken by the swords. That each petal represents all those words, and old depressions & pains not leaving fully, and the flashbacks of old events. I think this card fell into this position in the throw because I still have yet to let things out & experience some of these things fully in order to let them go.
7. 5 of Swords in "how do I face what I try to hide" saying to accept it, to immerse myself in it even if it's painful. To not feel guilt anymore for hiding from it in the first place -- but still to nudge myself towards facing it. To expect that an internal fight will happen & to not give up during it, and to look for support from trusted ones during that time. To not listen to self-destructive voices in the way, to practice self-love boldly in the face of that.
8. 2 of Swords in "how do I show the world what I hide from them" -- Ah, showing up the 2nd time! A note to embrace the differences within myself & others, to work on internal & external compromise. To not be so afraid of conflict (or peace!) & to work on it... and to be sure to be grateful when the positives come. That I need to first work on peace & love in my own self to make it easier to face others... working on my best self internally in order to work externally & change.
9. 10 of Disks in "how do I look in the shadows of my soul" is to remember that I am whole & to look at my whole self (symbolized by the 10 representing the whole, the complete). To keep myself comfortable materially to the best of my ability when I'm about to look at scary issues. To keep myself grounded in Earth (disks) during the process... looking at the beauty along the way (the lyric "beauty in the breakdown" comes to mind for this & with much of this reading) and to be thankful for that beauty -- to take gentle care of myself in the process, and to look to be surrounded by an environment that will do so as well.
I realize this is quite long & so although it is welcome, I wouldn't expect anyone to read it all or leave feedback... not all my PDR readings will be this long!
I reshuffled & cut with all cards after each set of 3 (I'm unsure if this technique is "correct" but I wanted to try... and of course one of the cards that has been following me around in all my readings thus showed up twice in this one!)
Thus the cards--
1. Who do I see when I look in the mirror? - Death
2. Who do others see when they look at me? - Star
3. Who am I beneath the surface? - 7 of Swords
1. What do I try to hide from myself? - 2 of Swords
2. What do I hide from others? - Art (Temperance)
3. What do I have in the deep shadows? - 3 of Swords
1. How do I face what I try to hide? - 5 of Swords
2. How do I show the world what I hide from them? - 2 of Swords
3. How do I look into the shadows of my soul? - 10 of Disks
*Interpretation/Reflections* - Oh, all those swords! They've been showing up frequently for me (the 2 of Swords nearly constantly!) in lots of readings lately... in the case of this reading, I think it's a special note on the significance of the intellect in my life on the positive side... and on the negative side, also about suffering -- and maybe that I put too much focus on that on myself, even without the help of those Swords showing up! Disks (Earth) showing up as the only other element in this spread (other than the majors & swords) seems to put extra illumination on it... maybe asking me in particular to focus on bringing all that mental energy back down to Earth.
1. The Death card in "who I see when I look in the mirror" is reflecting back to me that the first thing I see are my worries & fears! That even though I want transformation & change, the first thing I see is limitations & endings... perhaps how much I cling to the past & the baggage I carry? That I see myself as stuck, afraid that I'm a void in the darkness. When I'm not in a depression I think that I also see in myself the positive traits of the Scorpion, so that is fitting as well.
2. The Star in "who do others see when they look at me" I feel may be a reminder to see the positive sides of myself. I hope this means that others can see me as a light in the darkness, that I can be the calm for others in times of their need, that the traits I hate about myself can actually help & bring hope to others. (One of the most beautiful things in this card I see is one of the stars is literally sending beams of light to a flower slowly blooming, and thus the flower sends the light back to the stars...) Perhaps they see me as having healing gifts to offer. Definitely as an idealist & I may seem hard to reach oftentimes... so wrapped up in introversion. Going back to the idealism, I think I am also seen as someone who has their hopes rise easily & is easily disappointed or disappointed too much when they fall (falling stars...).
I think this card is a bit of an advice card to remind me that I can look at myself through the eyes of those friends I trust to help me see myself in a better light, to not be afraid to look for help from others to see hope.
3. 7 of Swords in "who am I beneath the surface" ... with the swords relating back to the mind is a general note on how I hide mental unwellness, or at least try too -- maybe too hard. & How I feel like a deceiver by compartmentalizing or hiding certain parts of myself. I think it's about my self-hatred issues underneath the surface & my habit of running & hiding from things -- both the "good" & "bad." It represents my fear of sharing any traits with the people who have treated me badly in the past... and maybe that I have more empathy for them then I know consciously. The six swords pictured in this card as sort of jagged clouds corrupting the new thought of one sword that still stands like it does in the ace of swords makes me think in particular about how I hold on to the things that have been said to me that are unhelpful to hold onto... and how it still impacts me.
4. 2 of Swords in "what do I try to hide from myself" -- Again, the above note on general swords applies. I think it means I hide instinct & intuition from myself, afraid of these parts of me because of other mental issues. That I keep balance & the "happy mediums" from myself. That I try my best to hide conflict from myself by looking for constant distraction -- but that means I end up hiding peace as well... also that I compartmentalize myself.
5. Art in "what do I try to hide from others?" almost made me want to laugh or cry out loud at how literally true this one is for me! Obvious & to the point -- in quite literal terms I definitely hide my art from others, keep it away from public view. More metaphorically it may also mean how I hide parts of myself that make the whole to others. (A recurring theme through the spread there?) I hide some of the most creative parts of myself, as well as quite a lot of feelings. (Relating back elementally to the fire & water represented in the card.) In terms of advice, it may mean that I need not only try to not hide & put away my art but that I should also create more, and not stifle it from the start.
6. 3 of Swords in "what do I have in the deep shadows" ... hidden heartbreak... a spot on card in the literal sense again. Pain still held onto from past relationships that couldn't last, and the words from it still echoing somewhere -- I feel like those are represented by each rose petal that surrounds this card, broken by the swords. That each petal represents all those words, and old depressions & pains not leaving fully, and the flashbacks of old events. I think this card fell into this position in the throw because I still have yet to let things out & experience some of these things fully in order to let them go.
7. 5 of Swords in "how do I face what I try to hide" saying to accept it, to immerse myself in it even if it's painful. To not feel guilt anymore for hiding from it in the first place -- but still to nudge myself towards facing it. To expect that an internal fight will happen & to not give up during it, and to look for support from trusted ones during that time. To not listen to self-destructive voices in the way, to practice self-love boldly in the face of that.
8. 2 of Swords in "how do I show the world what I hide from them" -- Ah, showing up the 2nd time! A note to embrace the differences within myself & others, to work on internal & external compromise. To not be so afraid of conflict (or peace!) & to work on it... and to be sure to be grateful when the positives come. That I need to first work on peace & love in my own self to make it easier to face others... working on my best self internally in order to work externally & change.
9. 10 of Disks in "how do I look in the shadows of my soul" is to remember that I am whole & to look at my whole self (symbolized by the 10 representing the whole, the complete). To keep myself comfortable materially to the best of my ability when I'm about to look at scary issues. To keep myself grounded in Earth (disks) during the process... looking at the beauty along the way (the lyric "beauty in the breakdown" comes to mind for this & with much of this reading) and to be thankful for that beauty -- to take gentle care of myself in the process, and to look to be surrounded by an environment that will do so as well.
