Step 12 - Fantastic Menagerie
STEP 12 - MODIFICATION
CARD: The Star
DECK: Fantastic Meangerie
Card can be seen here:
http://www.fantasticmenagerie.com/Majors2.htm
12:1 Interpretation of 8 of Wands from Nefertari's Tarot
1) THE RECENT PAST - in the recent past you have felt an urge, a need, to move forward and quickly.
2) AS AN OBSTABLE - you are moving to fast and acting before thinking.
3) YOUR STRENGTH - your strength is your ability to regenerate and keep moving forward wich helps you overcome obstacles as you don't dwell on them.
Modification of meaning based on spread position:
4) What is my purpose in life? (the best that can be achieved)
To be honest I had a real hard time with this one. It was hard to determine the best that could be achieved without the life purpose having been identified. So my interpretation is very general, vague, and even feels false.
The best way to fulfill your life purpose it by setting goals and achieving them, one at a time, with the confidence that they will keep you focused, directed, and moving forward.
5) What do I need to know about buying this house? (My fears)
You are afraid that you might be rushing into something you are not really sure you are ready to take on. You are feeling the pressure and stress of a life changing or at least seriously life affecting decision. This can also be called cold feet .... see the Egyptians bare feet on the cold floor?
12.2.1 What I most need to look at in my life right now is how my needs affect my environment.
12:2.2 Interpretation of chosen card - THE STAR - within new perspectives:
KNOWN: My needs are for tranquility and calmness in my environment.
UNKNOWN: Need for validation to believe that I am acutally a part of that environment. A permanent and loved part of it.
SOURCE: The source of these needs stems from my childhood (ages 6 - 15). Being raised in a different country where I looked very different from the other kids, and as my parents worked I spent a lot of time alone or trying to fit in. Never quite managing.
Kids can be cruel, little girls specially, and now that I see things in restropect I see how affected I was by all this. I have now brought it into my marriage, and I am still seeking that happy place where I am so perfect and loved. That is the source of tension in my environment as affected by my needs known and unknown alike. No wonder he gets so upset!!! he is right "I do not get it!" ... well perhaps that is about to change. About being a relative term, of course *LOL*.
Is anyone else having this kind of epiphany????? By this kind I mean a profound finding or something.
12:3 Three card spread:
THE ISSUE: THE STAR - The issue is that I am trying to make my environment someting it cannot be ... perfect.
WHAT IS BLOCKED: 9 OF CUPS - this card shows a big elephant smoking a cigar with his trunk, and with 9 Champagne bottles, 4 or 5 are open and spewing in the air but he does not look really happy. Maybe a bit smug, but not really happy. Based on my issue I would say that what is blocked is my ability to really appreciate what I have, and how good I actually do have it. I also have trouble celebrating any progress I make in the direction of improving my environment. I may stare at it like the elephant looks at the ibis-woman if you put the cards side by side, but like the ibis-woman in the Star card I just look away and get all distracted and focusing on something else.
WHAT CAN HELP ME BREAK THROUGH THE BLOCK: 5 OF WANDS - and OMG if this is not a card I ran away from in Step 1 ... the card depicts 4 cocks fighting, a brawl, and a hen all dressed in her Sunday finest watching them fight over her I presume. So how does card represent a break through .... I need to determine what the heck I am fighting and why! re-asses this situation, is the hen in the blue dress even obtainable? or am I just fighting the good fight for altruistic reasons. Who am I in this picture ... I like to think I am the hen, and I tell myself I am the poor innocent hen, but that is just not true. I am one of those cocks fighting simply by not being honest with myself which in turn of course makes me unable to be honest with my husband ... which leads to fights ... which lead to yelling ... which lead to other verbal unpleasantries ... So I think this card is actually telling me to wake up, call a truce and leave the hen standing there. Go find another hen, become a comrad and close friend to that other rooster.
So to sum it all up, JEWEL'S RAMBLINGS is what I usually call this part, In this case I actually have to quit trying to make my life the Star card as that is actually an ideal not a reality. I need to really partner with my husband in this marriage and build this environment together, and appreciate and celebrate our successes together, and be OK with his ideal and mine are not the same so our environment will not be MY STAR card. It does not have to be so hard ... except I am apparently more obtuse then I thought I was ... my bad ...
Thanks to this spread I think I am finally seeing things a little bit more from my husbands perspective. I don't care much for how he expresses it sometimes, but I am starting to understand ... he would be so shocked if he knew! *LOL*