Negative messages

I am just starting with Tarot and have a question about 'negative' news.

When someone asks a question of you as a reader do you give them the exact answer as you see it? I recently had a reading done and the reader mentioned she didn't like giving people news that would upset them (pending illness or loss of a loved one). I am a bit confused. I don't always see death as a negative (someone freed from pain is one example of positive). Without knowing all the context if you withhold information could you not be doing more harm?

Interested to hear other opinions on this.

Hi, beccas.

Personally, I think it would all depend on the question itself. I do have to clarify that I only read for myself and for a very close circle of family and friends, and very rarely in a predictive context. I wouldn't be comfortable reading on health, or receiving a reading on health, but that's just me.

I feel that if the querent posed a question that acknowledged the presence of death or illness, then the reader should be able to relate the reading to that situation, if that was the context provided. Most readers have clear boundaries on what they read on and who they read for. It takes a certain level of intuition and compassion on the reader's part to be able to gauge:
1) the querent's readiness to receive certain insights from a reading, and
2) the querent's ability to process these insights in a healthy and constructive manner.

The cards have a wealth of information in them, and a reader who has his/her querent's best interests at heart does choose how to share that information. It's a very personal and interactive experience, one shared between reader and querent, and every reading is unique.

Thank you illyria.
A reader recently said sees the passing of an elderly lady in my life (my grandmother is sick - but I didn't know that at the time of the reading). It just made me wonder about the other reading I had and which way people tended to lean towards.

I'm so sorry to hear your grandmother is ill, beccas. I'm sending her loving, healing vibes.

There are so many external factors that come into play in a reading, don't you agree? I feel that the synchronicity of events—regardless of whether the other reader saw someone passing on in the future and didn't tell you so—allowed you to receive the message that you did in the end.

Thanks for those kind thoughts illyria - but it really is okay. This is what drove my question. If I had a reading tomorrow and they said she will pass shortly it would bring a sense of relief she will no longer be in pain. But without knowing that context a reader might withhold that view worried I wouldn't have that reaction.

I COMPLETELY agree. If a message is to come through I will receive it in one form or another. It just made me question my own reading process and how I allow the context to guide me. As I am just learning I was curious to know what other do. Thank you so much for your feedback.
Bx

beccas said:

I am just starting with Tarot and have a question about 'negative' news.

When someone asks a question of you as a reader do you give them the exact answer as you see it? I recently had a reading done and the reader mentioned she didn't like giving people news that would upset them (pending illness or loss of a loved one). I am a bit confused. I don't always see death as a negative (someone freed from pain is one example of positive). Without knowing all the context if you withhold information could you not be doing more harm?

Interested to hear other opinions on this.

Click to expand...

I think there are a number of issues here. First if you ask the question anything can come up. So the querent needs to be sure beforehand that they are willing to hear anything that can come up. If the answer might be very unpleasant I will stop and tell them that, that they are SURE they REALLY want to hear the answer to that no matter what comes up. And I will not go on unless they are sure.

One example that comes to mind is a friend who wanted to know if her son-in-law would survive the brain surgery he was having next month. I again told her if I ask anything can come up. And is she sure she wants to know. If something negative came up, does she think it would make her feel better or worse during that time before the surgery. She decided she did not want to know and did not want me to do the reading.

I think a lot of times people ask the hard questions because they just want to hear everything is going to be alright. But sometimes things are not headed where they wish. IT happens. So first the querent needs to be SURE they want the answer, before I will do a reading of this type. And can handle whatever comes up.

I don't think anyone likes to give others really bad news. I personally try to avoid readings on if someone will die. I don't want that responsibility. There are times when I might, you have to sense when a question feels wrong. We, as readers, can refuse to answer any question that feels wrong to us.

On the other hand, in questions where something "negative"comes up, yes I tell the querent everything I see. If you see it, then it is your job to tell them. If you see it, then that is info they need. But what I see in a card is not just the unpleasant thing but also the good in it, the good behind it, the reason it has to happen now for their own good, the lesson they can learn from it to better themselves and their lives. All that also shows up as part of the message.

The cards don't just tell us "negative" events, but the good surrounding them. The comfort surrounding those events also shows up in those cards. And it is our job to tell the WHOLE story. Not just the event but the good that can and will come from it afterwards. It is there in the cards too, if we look just a bit deeper. That iis my belief. We tell ALL we see, but if we look deeply enough we see it all, the whole story.

Also we need to remember that different people have different ways of seeing things than we do. Whether or not you or I see death as something scary, we need to remember some people see it as terrifying. Whether or not you or I believe we are eternal, some people fear death as an ending and see it as proof life is meaningless and random....We need to be careful of our wording so as not to scare people.

There are many different ways to word the exact same message. The words we choose count and are important.

Babs

beccas said:

Thank you illyria.
A reader recently said sees the passing of an elderly lady in my life (my grandmother is sick - but I didn't know that at the time of the reading). It just made me wonder about the other reading I had and which way people tended to lean towards.

Click to expand...

I am also so sorry to hear that your grandmother is ill.

Best wishes!

Babs

I've only lied in a reading once, and it was when I told a friend of mine that the death referred to actually meant a life changing event. I didn't know enough to prevent anything, and I knew it wouldn't be something like the easing of someone's pain. I didn't see any reason to worry her, especially since she was coming to me more out of curiosity than seriously needing guidance and answers. Well, maybe some desire for guidance, but knowing about the upcoming unavoidable death would not help. I fudged and told her that a life altering event would cause her to need the support of her friends and family, that it would bring many people together.

If I had to do it again, I'd still fudge what I saw (I see no reason to cause someone to stop in the middle of their grief and shock and think that they were warned about this, I don't want to inspire fear or guilt) but I would look more into the manner of death on my own. That young man took three people with him, on purpose, and tried to take more. I wish I had known how huge the event would be, but all I got was that someone she knew that I didn't know very well would die.

It really does depend.

I'd rather lose my reputation than cause any one needless anguish, and I've certainly pussy-footed around in readings....but then sometimes the querent knows or suspects the bad news & coaxes it out of me...for example, I'd focus upon someone building up a supportive network of allies rather than say 'your husband is going to die'...I'd focus on solutions rather than stating a problem...

It really does depend upon the reading & the customer.

It happens a lot more than I'd like. I'd love to send everyone away with good news, but most people come for a reading with me because something is causing them distress and sometimes there isn't going to be a happy ending any time soon.

But I try to stress the light at the end of the tunnel, put a positive spin etc .....nasty illness? time to relax & catch up with your reading! devious boyfriend? time to re-invent yourself!

Obviously here I'm being facetious, of course I am a good deal more sensitive....I hope!

The future is always in flux. So don't try to predict what WILL happen. See what IS happening and say something like, she may not have much longer, I am sorry. You are not fudging: she is very near death, you feel that, but exactly WHEN? that is not for you to predict, I think.

as for impending illness again, people have free will. Ask the cards, how can they avoid that future? They may suggest going to a doctor. Give them the reality, but if it is upcoming they can FIX it or change it and the cards can give you suggestions that will help that.

barb