The Lovers as Ultimate Potential

Charlie Brown

Hello,

I did a 7-card sort of 'life path' reading for someone and for the final card, "ultimate potential," I drew The Lovers. I would hate to think that the cards are saying this person's potential lies simply in getting hitched, so I'm wondering what it does mean.

Thinking about The Lovers as a card in which two parts come together in balance or, better yet, harmony, my current thought is that the card might say that her potential lies in finding harmony with the world, creating harmony within the world or, perhaps, being able to make the world harmonize with her.

Two other cards may help:

Card 1 ("who she is in the world") was the 5 of Wands, which I take to mean that she is highly competitive and/or pugnacious. That she's someone who wants her will and her way.

Additionally, card 6 ('what lesson must you learn') is The Devil, which strongly connected to The Lovers (15=1+5=6). If she is the 5 of wands, then perhaps the Devil's lesson is to lighten/loosen up. If she loosens/lightens and stops trying to fight so hard to impose her will, then perhaps she can allow her life to find balance and harmony of The Lovers.

Thank you for your thoughts.

-CB

Skysteel

Charlie Brown said:
Thinking about The Lovers as a card in which two parts come together in balance or, better yet, harmony, my current thought is that the card might say that her potential lies in finding harmony with the world, creating harmony within the world or, perhaps, being able to make the world harmonize with her.

Sounds more like Temperance; engaging with choices that lead to worthwhile bonds could work.

Charlie Brown

Skysteel said:
Sounds more like Temperance; engaging with choices that lead to worthwhile bonds could work.

Hmm... I'll have to think about that, and I'd be interested to hear if others feel that way. I admit to not really having a great sense of Temperance, but I tend to think of it as being more about integration rather than balance or harmony. The angel creating something new, different, and unified out of the constituent elements.

Thirteen

This is who I am

Charlie Brown said:
creating harmony within the world or, perhaps, being able to make the world harmonize with her.

Being the #6, there is the element of balance and harmony to the Lovers. Yin needing Yang and vice versa in order to be whole. But "creating harmony" in the world (rather than within yourself) isn't what the card is about. The Lovers was originally "The Lover" or "Amorous one." And that makes it a card about the potential to recognize who we love and what we love. Even what is worth fighting for and sacrificing for...because without that thing we love, or person we love, or doing what we love, we won't be ourselves.

So, this isn't about balancing things out like on a seesaw (that would be Justice). It's about understanding who you are and what you need to be you (to be whole). This card strips away any lies you may have told yourself about who you are, or anything others have tried to make you that you're not. This is the potential to say "That's what I love, and I won't apologize for it. This is who I am."

Charlie Brown

Thirteen said:
Being the #6, there is the element of balance and harmony to the Lovers. Yin needing Yang and vice versa in order to be whole. But "creating harmony" in the world (rather than within yourself) isn't what the card is about. The Lovers was originally "The Lover" or "Amorous one." And that makes it a card about the potential to recognize who we love and what we love. Even what is worth fighting for and sacrificing for...because without that thing we love, or person we love, or doing what we love, we won't be ourselves.

So, this isn't about balancing things out like on a seesaw (that would be Justice). It's about understanding who you are and what you need to be you (to be whole). This card strips away any lies you may have told yourself about who you are, or anything others have tried to make you that you're not. This is the potential to say "That's what I love, and I won't apologize for it. This is who I am."

Thank you, Thirteen. I appreciate your thoughts. You've definitely given me a greater depth of insight for the card. If I'm understanding what your saying, the interpretation would be something like this then: Querent spends a lot of time fighting the world (5 of wands) but if she could let that go (Devil) she has the potential to live as the most authentic version of herself, no?

Here's where I still wonder though: my immediate reaction upon seeing the card (for a number of reasons) was to identify the querent with the figure of Raphael. Obviously, this is deck specific and lies beyond an analysis of The Lovers in general. But if she is identified as Raphael and since Raphael is, first and foremost, a healer, might the cards be saying that this most authentic self is one who brings healing (as in the myths of Raphael) and, as pictured in the card, one who brings people/things together in harmony?

I think I'll start a thread on Raphael in the RWS sub-forum.

Thank you again. I really appreciate your insights.

Thirteen

Healing Hearts and Minds

Charlie Brown said:
If I'm understanding what your saying, the interpretation would be something like this then: Querent spends a lot of time fighting the world (5 of wands) but if she could let that go (Devil) she has the potential to live as the most authentic version of herself, no?

5/Wands isn't fighting the world. It's fighting to be recognized. To stand out. See all those five fighters? They all look alike. They all fight alike. There are lots of people who are as talented as you, as good looking, as energetic. HOW do you stand out and say "Pick me! I'm unique?" That is the question of the 5/Wands. THAT is what you're fighting to prove. And that's what people looking for love keep doing? Right? They fight to be noticed and thought unique and special. To say, "I'm you're one and only."

And that goes just fine with the Lovers, where the person recognizes the uniqness in someone else, and they recognize the uniqueness in them.

The Devil is often seen as the corrupted lovers. It's not love but base, physical attraction or simply addiction. This can include being attracted to those who are beautiful (eye-candy) or famous or rich--believing that being with someone who has what you lack will make you whole. But those are superficial "lacks." You gain a superficial cache--the man with a beautiful woman on his arm is admired by other men, but he is no more "whole" within then he was without her. These are devilish temptations that promise "Wholeness" but don't really deliver it. And it's easy to become addicted to such quick fixes and not recognize true love...which may require work and sacrifices and overcoming difficulties. One absolutely must let go of such things or one will never realize what can make you truely whole.

since Raphael is, first and foremost, a healer, might the cards be saying that this most authentic self is one who brings healing

Raphael is the angel in the RWS Lovers card because (1) He is Air, and the card is Gemini, an air sign. This is a card about higher, psychic selves connecting. Unlike the Earthy Devil card which is the physical. This is a connection of the mind, of the "spirit" if you like. (2) Healing gets us right back to two halves becoming whole. The most authentic self is that who can recognize that which will heal them. Which will make them not two but one. Raphael there brings the man and woman together. He doesn't stitch up a wound or save them from illness. Adam has had a part of himself removed. And is not WHOLE. Put him back together with Eve, his missing part, and he is whole. That is what is being "healed."

That's the power of the Lover's card. When a person sees that which they love, they see somthing that can heal them. That can put back that missing rib and make them breath easy again. So, if this person is Raphael FROM THE CARD (you can't take the meaning of this angel out of the card and run with it, you have to keep it in context!), then they might have the potential to make "love connections" for others. Thus healing hearts and minds.

Thirteen

"Matchmaker, Matchmaker..."

Just to add, in most pre-RWS tarot decks there's often a third entity in the Lovers' card (not always, but often). Sometimes it's Cupid--and you can see where an angel makes a good replacement for a winged god. Sometimes it's a matchmaker. But in all these older decks, there is the idea of some wiser, outside force helping the "Lover" to recognize his other half, partner and Soulmate.

What I'm saying is, that third entity, whatever it's form in whatever Lovers card is always "The matchmaker" whether it's a heavenly one, a mythic one, or a real-life one. That is the role that even Raphael is playing in that particular card. So...is that what you feel this person has the potential to be?

Charlie Brown

Thanks for keeping up with the thread Thirteen. I appreciate the benefit of your knowledge. I'm very much trying to learn and grow in my craft.

Thirteen said:
So...is that what you feel this person has the potential to be?

To be clear, I'm not sure it's fair to say that I have any particular feeling for this person's potential. It isn't as though I'm trying to bend the cards to any sense I have of the querent. Firstly, that's not how I try to read and, second, I don't really have that kind of sense for the querent. She has her reading and she has her life and time will tell what means what. As I said above, I'm just trying to grow as a reader and develop a broader perspective on the cards.

So...if The Lovers card isn't necessarily about a romantic match but, rather, about making the choices that resonate with our truest self/truest heart then wouldn't the 'matchmaker' be a person who helps someone makes those choices and/or helps them recognize what their truest self/truest heart is? Someone like a teacher or a spiritual leader. I can even see someone like an orchestra conductor or a drill sergeant fitting that description in so far as they help people remove their ego from the performance of their tasks.

Thirteen said:
5/Wands isn't fighting the world. It's fighting to be recognized.

We may not be that far apart here, but are just using different language. As someone with a background in arts and entertainment, the fight to be recognized strikes me as the very definition of a fight with the world. Six billion people all more or less the same and you want to direct their attention towards you. That, surely, is not the only interpretation of 5W, but it did come as a card describing this person's core personality. I'd say that if someone is particularly competitive or quarrelsome by nature that that is a fight with the world since they will be that way regardless of what particular circumstance they find themselves in and regardless of who they're surrounded by. In any case, your observations of how 5W relates to The Lovers strikes me as astute.

I had/have reasons (relating to the other cards) of why I read the particular aspect of The Devil card that I did, but since the reading was in a Star of David shape and since The Devil was the bottom point and The Lovers the top, it may do to spend more time thinking about The Devil as a corrupted aspect of The Lovers. I especially liked your bit about the lack of wholeness in The Devil relating to Eve's rib making Adam whole again.

Thirteen said:
Cupid--and you can see where an angel makes a good replacement for a winged god

I wrote about this in the other thread on the RWS forum. I'm not sure that an angel would even have been considered a replacement per se since the figure of Cupid was often incorporated into the court of angels in Renaissance and Baroque art.

Thirteen

Charlie Brown said:
So...if The Lovers card isn't necessarily about a romantic match but, rather, about making the choices that resonate with our truest self/truest heart then wouldn't the 'matchmaker' be a person who helps someone makes those choices and/or helps them recognize what their truest self/truest heart is? Someone like a teacher or a spiritual leader.

Not a teacher or spiritual leader. A "Matchmaker." Everyone goes to someone to help them find their perfect match somewhere along the line. The College kid goes to a counselor to help them decide on a major that is right for them; the young person searching for work goes to another expert to find them the perfect job. You go to a real estate agent to help you find that home you'll love and want to live in forever. People even go to dog experts to help them find the perfect pet--the one that's just right for them.

Matchmakers are more than those who just find you the right partner.

These aren't spiritual leaders who guide a person through difficulties, nor a teacher who give students lessons so they can become whatever they're trying to become. These are people who figure out *who you are* and *what you need* to be "whole." To be all you were meant to be. And they connect you up with that thing or activity or work or person.

They are matchmakers.

Charlie Brown

I think we're quibbling over semantics at this point.