10 of cups = culmination point (Nothing getting better)?

tarot_quest

Hi ATers!

I feel a bit stuck on this one... Part of a larger reading (Marseilles cards, reversals), I compared two men in my life (romantic interests). For one of them, I am asking guidance with the cards because I truly don't know if I should forget him or not. So to gain more clarity, I asked:

''Is this man part of my past/should I forget him?'' and I got 10 of cups.

Now, does this 10 of cups mean that things have reach their peak with him (that it will never get better than when I met him)? Does it mean that the ''best'' have been there at some point in the past and that it will never get better? *We were friends (dating) but not officially together due to a recent breakup on his side*

I am not sure if I should see it with the traditional explanation:''happily ever after''. I am opting for the culmination of the suit here. What do you think?
 

Sentient

tarot_quest, the 10C may be answering your question by asking you to do an honest, thoughtful evaluation.

Is there any possibility that you could live "happily ever after" with this guy? If the answer is "maybe," then you should consider how that could be achieved. If "no," then you no longer have to look back and wonder. The 10C is saying that there's only one test that matters.
 

rwcarter

So to gain more clarity, I asked:

''Is this man part of my past/should I forget him?'' and I got 10 of cups.

That's two different questions that you're expecting one card to answer:
  • He could be part of your past, and, yes, you should forget him.
  • He could be part of your past and, no, you shouldn't forget him.
  • He could be part of your future but you should still forget him for now.
  • He could be part of your future and you shouldn't forget him.

Rodney
 

tarot_quest

tarot_quest, the 10C may be answering your question by asking you to do an honest, thoughtful evaluation.

Is there any possibility that you could live "happily ever after" with this guy? If the answer is "maybe," then you should consider how that could be achieved. If "no," then you no longer have to look back and wonder. The 10C is saying that there's only one test that matters.

Thanks for your input Sentient. The point you are making is good, but I don't have the answer to be very honest... I don't know very well this person, so I would definitively need to spend more time with him to understand if I truly want a long term relationship with him or not. To make it short, I had boyfriends before, but it's the first time that I had a very good mental, emotional and physical chemistry with a man (and he confirmed on his side too). We met when he broke up from a super long committed relationship, hence he disappeared to do not jump into a new relationship and he cut the communication.

I am trying to gain more clarity from Tarot. I am also dating new men. I can't make up my mind on this person. I also asked what my intuition knows about him for the future and I got the Hierophant **Which could mean that the statu quo will stay OR that something committed will take place** So I am still stuck!
 

tarot_quest

That's two different questions that you're expecting one card to answer:
  • He could be part of your past, and, yes, you should forget him.
  • He could be part of your past and, no, you shouldn't forget him.
  • He could be part of your future but you should still forget him for now.
  • He could be part of your future and you shouldn't forget him.

Rodney


Outch Rodney! I feel dizzy now ;)

Your suggestions are great by the way! I will have to meditate on these, seriously... I am suspecting that clarity will emerge at some point. Meeting new guys might also help

By the way, how did you get the 3rd point with 10 of cups?
 

rwcarter

You asked two Yes/No questions combined for a single position. The four answers I gave are the four scenarios in this order: Yes/Yes, Yes/No, No/Yes and No/No. Those were just scenarios based on the fact that you asked Yes/No questions. They did not include interpretations of the cards because it wouldn't be clear which part of the question the card was answering.

If the answer to "Is this man part of my past?" is no, then that means he's part of your present or future. From what you've said, he's not part of your present, so then he must be part of your future.

Rodney
 

Thirteen

What kind of romance do you want?

I agree with Rodney that your question put real limits on the answer the cards could give you. You should know better than to ask a yes/no question ;) Really, however, what you asked wasn't what you wanted to know. What you really want to know is what KIND of romantic future you'd have with this man. Right? And I think THAT is the question the cards answered.

The 10/Cups is not exciting or passionate. 10/Cups is deep, committed, and spiritual. It's the sort of love that you see in elderly couples who still hold hands. The sort of love that wants a home, children, and tenderness. It is the sort of romance that has no regrets about the past, and leaves a legacy of warmth and love to the future.

Now, whether that is the right romantic future for you is up to you to decide. You may think "Who wouldn't want that?" but for many people, that sort of relationship and future would have them running away. They want someone who will constantly stimulate their mind and keep them on their toes; or someone who, when they get together, there will always be sparks and fireworks. Or someone whose ambitions match their own, and together they can climb the ladder to success. The answer to your *real* question is: there are no fireworks or grand ambitions in a romance with this man. There are very pretty rainbows. Is that what you want?

Now, of course, there was one more question you didn't ask of the cards, but was probably there as well: "What would be the best sort of romance for me?" You might ask the cards that if you're still ambivalent. But I'd say that you shouldn't go after any kind of romance if you don't know what kind is right for you. So. You might want to think about that, and listen to your heart. Knowing what you really want is half the battle.
 

Blessed

In order to get to the answer, the question matters most!

Hi tarot_quest and lovely community!
This is my very first reply in the forum, since I only recently began to feel confident enough to share my two cents on the tarot.

This post really intrigued me, because it touches a very important aspect of my experience with tarot and I hope my take helps you, tarot_quest.
As Thirteen said, the question itself is very important. I found out throughout my experience, that the question, the very way you phrase it, is (to me, at least) 50% of the whole reading.

It's pretty much like a highschool math quiz, where you must understand what the question specifically asks for, in order to answer correctly and follow the right logical steps to get to the answer.

Furthermore, a 'crystallised' specific question, helps with 2 things:
1. Helps you think carefully about the issue at hand, put it to some prespective prior to the reading (which will help you make sense of the issue generally and of the following reading, too)
2. Helps you with interpreting the cards you'll draw. We all know that cards have multiple meanings depending on context, situation, people involved and surrounding cards, but they also depend on the very question - and perhaps to an even greater degree.

In my opinion, yes/no questions are very restricting and don't allow the cards to unfold their full meaning, nor they help the reader interpret the cards to their full extent.
Of course, there are cards with clearly positive/negative meanings, but still, sometimes strict yes/no questions don't help much.

In your case, to me, the cards you drew speak of future potential with this man. The ten of cups in my books is the card of 'conscious' and happy coupling, of two people who have found one another and are able to have a harmonious, content union.
And the Hierophant, as 'keeper of tradition & propriety' (again, my view on the card), indicates to me that it would be a 'proper' relationship - with some old-fashioned courting perhaps, or distinct stages (attraction, then dating first, then maybe moving in together), or just honest intentions and a sincere gradual approach from his end. But he would aim to a relationship in any case, not just casual dating.

So you see, I think the cards replied to you and the core of your question, just not the specific phrasing you chose.

I hope this was at least a little helpful and I'm wishing you all the best for your future pursuits!
Godspeed!
 

Absynthe

I feel a bit stuck on this one... Part of a larger reading (Marseilles cards, reversals), I compared two men in my life (romantic interests). For one of them, I am asking guidance with the cards because I truly don't know if I should forget him or not. So to gain more clarity, I asked:

''Is this man part of my past/should I forget him?'' and I got 10 of cups.

I keep getting 10 cups for a guy that I was stuck on and things never went anywhere. It was perplexing for a very long period of time because the other cards that showed up were strong relationship cards. Finally the whole thing unravelled....

Ten Cups meant that instead of engaging in drama with this person I was to go within and seek my inner presence. Being in the now moment. Once I did that through meditation, the rest of the cards became clear and so did my 'relationship' to him.

He was here to get me to radically shift my way of living and the gateway to that was the ten of cups. Seeking the now moment as a means of emotional growth instead of being swept away by my emotions and ending up in drama. It's three weeks since I've disconnected in that way and committed to my emotional growth through this practice. I didn't have to decide to forget him, it happened naturally. The desperate attachment I felt is now gone. I still have admiration, appreciation etc, but that feeling of being drawn in by an irresistible force? No it's gone.

You could try this and see what happens. It certainly won't harm anything that is currently in progress.

The other cards I received in combination with the ten of cups and what they now mean were....

The Lovers - I could choose a conscious relationship (by choosing emotional growth) or I could choose an unconscious one that crashes and burns (by pursuing drama)

The two of cups - the key here is I used a Marseille deck which pictures of all things the caduceus. That's not a coincidence. The caduceus depicts kundalini energy perfectly balanced and meeting the crown chakra. Masculine and feminine perfectly balanced in the one person. The necessary requirement for a conscious relationship.

Hierophant - the spiritual role this person was playing in my life by frustrating me into my choice depicted by The Lovers. He was my teacher by not allowing things to move straight into the relationship I thought was there.
No, this person was not offering me commitment nor anything close to it.

Four Of Wands - I could choose to come home to myself by leaving an old way of living behind. Definitely not a marriage card in this instance unless you count the marriage of masculine and feminine within self.

The World - the final fulfillment of a conscious relationship at some later point if I choose the correct path. Being free of the drama's and cycles of the past and moving onto a new way of being.
 

tarot_quest

The 10/Cups is not exciting or passionate. 10/Cups is deep, committed, and spiritual. It's the sort of love that you see in elderly couples who still hold hands. The sort of love that wants a home, children, and tenderness. It is the sort of romance that has no regrets about the past, and leaves a legacy of warmth and love to the future.

That is exactly what I am looking for, really! :)

It would be amazing if me and my future partner would still be in love and romantic as we age together... Having a ''deep, committed and spiritual relationship'' is what I am looking for, hence it is tough to find.


The answer to your *real* question is: there are no fireworks or grand ambitions in a romance with this man. There are very pretty rainbows. Is that what you want?
I see what you mean with the beginning of this paragraph; that some people look for excitement or even arguing to be ''satisfied'' within a relationship. However, I think that a 10 of cups relationship does not necessarily exclude sharing common ambitions and some little fireworks (i.e. physical attraction, looking at each other with romance and lust,... ;))


Now, of course, there was one more question you didn't ask of the cards, but was probably there as well: "What would be the best sort of romance for me?" You might ask the cards that if you're still ambivalent. But I'd say that you shouldn't go after any kind of romance if you don't know what kind is right for you. So. You might want to think about that, and listen to your heart. Knowing what you really want is half the battle.

That is an excellent point Thirteen! And I did my homework already ;) I did a thread on AT 4-5 days ago asking which type of partner would suit me (and I got 4 of pentacles and the hierophant) and which type of relationship would be the best for me (and I got the Emperor).

The interpretations are here:
http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?t=255571

Yes, with these cards, I need someone ''by the book'', old fashion, stable and almost rigid in his principles!

Last thing, I like when you post your views on romance cards. Especially the Lovers and the 10 of cups!