Top Ten Decks That Didn't Quite Make It

Re: On sale now! Supply Limited!

Umbrae said:

The Tarot of Popeye the Sailorman: includes 4 cards (Popeye, Bluto, Olive Oil, and a Can of Spinach), no instructions, you can figure it out for yourself.

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Wow, for a moment there I thought that said he Tarot of Popeye the SailorMOON.

How about:

The Macintosh Tarot- Great Graphics that are easy to read- but unfortunately are not compatable with the box, nor the companion book, nor the table that you read on, nor any other tarot deck.

The Far Side Tarot, by Gary Larson.

The Ice Cream Tarot, not for use by people using the Stone Tarot.

I still could go for the Trading Spaces/Changing Rooms Tarot!

Re: On sale now! Supply Limited!

Umbrae said:

The Lutefisk Tarot; Made from real (Fresh!) Lutefisk! (roflmao)

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it's serendipitous that the acronym for "rolling on the floor laughing my ass off" approximates the sound one makes when in the presence of lutefisk.

(my grandpa used to say it was santa claus food. didn't fool us for a minute.)

Re: Re: On sale now! Supply Limited!

Jewel said:

At the risk of exposing my ignorance here ... what is lutefisk?

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oh!
it's just a slab of fish soaked in lye.

that's right: lye. what most sane people make soap out of. it has an odor that makes your eyes water and makes your dog want to pee on it.

my norwegian ancestors used to make lutefisk in order to preserve the catch. when they emmigrated to the united states, they kept making it every year at christmas, for nostalgia's sake. when my cousin karen went back to the old country and asked after the lutefisk (as in "hey, where's the lutefisk?"), she was told "we have refrigeration now."

OprahTarot was no good- the backs were an airbrushed close up of her smiley face, & so were all the fronts.

The Martha Stewart Tarot cost a fortune & all the cards were blank. You had to decorate them yourself, with markers, ribbon, glitter, buttons & old fish hooks . The instructions were endless, and then you felt bad because they didn't look as good as hers. The backs were plain lettuce green with a K Mart logo at the bottom. The house was a mess by the time you got done, and you started smoking again.

Tarot of the Clinton Years had real possibilities, but nobody could stand to look back. The Devil wore a blue dress.

The Tarot of the Taliban was banned before it was printed and the author was shot for thinking about it.

Tarotphelia

Lutefisk is a gelatinous goo, favored by Norwegians, consisting of pickled fish.

It was invented by Norwegian parents as a way to threaten their children into being good. "If you don't clean your room, its lutefisk for supper."

Divinerguy

Fine, I'll try again.
"The Greatful Dead Tarot"--gives great readings, but you always have such a bad hang-over the next day that you can never remember what your deck told you!

Lutefisk! Tarot

Umbrae said:

The Lutefisk Tarot; Made from real (Fresh!) Lutefisk! (roflmao)

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Hey, synchronicity! (Or something like that.) I saw the first couple posts of this thread while I was still at work, and thought, "Hmmm. Ole and Sven Tarot, in which the Page of Cups is holding a lutefisk."

I suspect you live in a Norwegian-influenced area of the Left Coast.

Here are some other tarots that somehow missed the top ten:

Hakuna M'Tarot - Used to be a Lion King themed deck, till the intellectual property lawyers got hold of it. Now it's just an empty box, and it's truly Hakuna ("there is no") Tarot.

Tarot of the Minnow - With Gilligan as the Fool, the Skipper Too as the Emperor, the Millionaire and His Wife as the King and Queen of Coins, the Movie Star as the Empress (or maybe the Devil), the Professor and Mary Ann as the Magician and the High Priestess (there was magic and mystery in those coconut cream pies, I tell ya).

The Lord of the Flies Tarot - Can't possibly be any more of a bollocks than the Lord of the Rings Tarot.

There may be more....

I love "The Grateful Dead" Tarot...but the colors...


"If I had a gun for every ace I've drawn
I could arm a town the size of Abilene
Don't you push me baby cause I'm moaning low
You know I'm only in it for the gold..."

Oops!
I almost forgot-

Oprah's Tarot came packaged with Dr. Phil's Cards of Change & Self-Loathing. But they made everybody cry or get really mad. (Free tape of him yelling at you personally enclosed.)

Tarotphelia

Re: Re: Re: On sale now! Supply Limited!

emily2otters said:

my norwegian ancestors used to make lutefisk in order to preserve the catch. when they emmigrated to the united states, they kept making it every year at christmas, for nostalgia's sake. when my cousin karen went back to the old country and asked after the lutefisk (as in "hey, where's the lutefisk?"), she was told "we have refrigeration now."

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We have Minnesota winters, but that doesn't keep the Norwegians from making lutefisk and serving it at Christmas. Closest I ever got to the stuff was at a holiday potluck dinner. I kept a respectful distance. Lefse (potato flatbread) is much better.