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Quote:
Originally Posted by IndigoViolet View Post
Ace of cups.
I am afraid He is pulling your hands off the board and prefer to paint His own picture, then pass it off that it is not His, but yours instead, and even ask you to do all the hardwork on publishing His crap. Ouch. That is inspiration ....and is what all is about.

Q: I need a speedup plan of remember the exam questions and I only have a minute. Help please
Page of wands
Your little brother stands outside the window of your classroom and holds up signs with all of the answers. You're going to ace your exam!

Q: Why do creepy people always want to strike up deep conversations with me in the grocery store or the dressing room at the clothing store?
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6 of Swords

Because it is easier to lay down all the s*** on you as they will not ever see you again - or so they hope - that telling it to someone who might give a rat's behind. They will feel better after, you are their free shrink replacement.

Q: How will I manage to do my spring cleaning?
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How will I manage to do my spring cleaning?
8 of pentacles and 9 of pentacles

Take everything that needs cleaning, pound it with a hammer, then toss it out in the garden. Stand there and admire a real pretty bird in your finest attire while it gets consumed by vines, for you have accomplished your cleaning and your hair still looks fabulous!

Q: What's the backstory on this mystery chair I got at a garage sale?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tarotsmurf View Post
Q: What's the backstory on this mystery chair I got at a garage sale?
(Dreaming Way Tarot) 9 Wands / VI The Lovers - The carpenter who built your chair was sad and lonely for so long he planted nine stalks of corn which produced a "corn fairy" who granted him his wish of the company of not only one, but two fabulous women. Because he couldn't chose between the two women he saw himself as "orgy guy" and thought he needed money to buy oils, jewellery, and other "orgy guy" stuff, so he sold you his only chair.

Q - When it starts raining cats and dogs, do I need to buy a new umberella ?
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Originally Posted by Cynthia_H View Post

Q - When it starts raining cats and dogs, do I need to buy a new umberella ?
(Robin Wood Tarot)
The Fool. 6 of Swords (reversed)

Don't buy an umbrella, buy a flute, then herd all the cats and dogs pied-piper style onto a boat, and return them to the ocean from which they came. (I'm assuming that raincats and raindogs can either swim or breathe underwater).

Q: What will happen if I never get around to Spring Cleaning?
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Divina Tarot


Quote:
Originally Posted by ZMoonShadow View Post
Q: What will happen if I never get around to Spring Cleaning?
King of Pentacles.
You'll be rich! Think of all the money you'll save by not buying cleaning supplies!

Q: How do I make my allergies go away?
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(Fenestra Tarot) Knight of Swords / VI The Lovers

Find a hairless horse and quickly ride him over to a garden with no grass, trees, plants or flowers for a picnic.

If I turn back my computer's clock to 11:00 a.m. will that restore the document I accidentally deleted at noon ?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cynthia_H View Post
(Fenestra Tarot) Knight of Swords / VI The Lovers

Find a hairless horse and quickly ride him over to a garden with no grass, trees, plants or flowers for a picnic.

If I turn back my computer's clock to 11:00 a.m. will that restore the document I accidentally deleted at noon ?
(Wooden Tarot) The Fool

Hey, it's worth a shot! What's the worst that could happen? Certainly no more files would get eaten in the process...

Q: How do I go to this appointment tomorrow with my skinned knee that's all bandaged up?
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Originally Posted by lantana View Post
(Wooden Tarot)
Q: How do I go to this appointment tomorrow with my skinned knee that's all bandaged up?
Archeon Tarot, Ace of Wands

Why, silly, with a STICK of course!

Oh god this has me laughing so badly. :-)


Q: Why is there never anything in the house I would want to eat?
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Originally Posted by Arania View Post
Q: Why is there never anything in the house I would want to eat?
9 Swords/King of Pentacles (Universal Llewellyn Tarot)

Because during your nighttime astral travels you are eating everything in the house and that is why you are now worried about your weight gain. If this keeps up, you will have to get a bank loan for food and a gym membership.

Q: If I tell a joke in the forest and nobody laughs, was it a joke ?
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