Please Help... Page of Pentacles as Stalker Card

aloevera

Background:
Two years ago, by my first (unsuccessfull) attempts with the minor arcana, I started being stalked by the page of pentacles in my readings about my love life. I had no relashionship by the time and no romantic interests either. Then I moved to live in another country and, from time to time, the page of pentacles would show up in my readings regarding my love life, but still no sign of him physically. Two months ago, that same card started to stalk me again, and I finally met him while I was having holidays at my home country last month. A huge, brutal, inequivocal connection between both of us happened immediatly, but unfortunely doomed to the inevitable separation, as soon I had to return home. Since then, the page of pentacles shows up ALL the time in readings I make about him. ALL the time in readings about my love life (I have no other romantic interest besides him). And lately, in the last three weeks maybe, this card shows up not only in readings about him, but also as my daily card. It's also a usual jumper, even if the reading I'm about to do is about something/someone that has nothing to do with me or with him. Sometimes he jumps together with the six of pentacles.
I've tried cleaning my cards, and the situation still goes on. I've shuffled the cards in every possible way, and the situation still remains.
Now I've tried the Over The Moon Oracle Cards spread for stalker cards (that was mentioned here at Aecletic) and, as I am still in the process of understanding the minors and relating every card with each other, and with the situation itself, I would like to have some help on understanding what came out:

1. The message is about this: 5 of Pentacles - about me feeling helpless, hurt and cold? possibly because of the past relationships
2. This is what's happening: 6 of Swords - everytime I see this card, what comes to my mind is the situation of a refugee: being driven away for a better place. Important: this is the card that simbolized the time I moved to another country
3. Should be/feel this about it: 5 of Swords - feels like wining, but in a bitter way.
4. I'm asked to release this: The Temperance - I honestly have no clue about what this card is doing in this position
5. I'm asked to embrace this: 2 of Swords - am I being asked not to chose? to step away from my feelings? to ignore everything on purpose in order to protect myself? should I ignore the fact that I'm being stalked by the page of pentacles? I don't think so
6. It's time to take this action: The Judgement - an important change shall take place

I know it's such a long post... But if you had the patience to read until here, then please, help me. Any little input will be very much appreciated.
 

barefootlife

Okay, so. Remember, what you're trying to figure out is why this Page of Pentacles is stalking you, so all the cards should be read relating to that question.

5 Pents is a card about feeling alone, about the concept of feeling you have to sacrifice too much. But these feelings may come not from truly being alone, but from closing yourself off, especially out of pride. When you shut down emotionally, you don't notice all the good things around you, and when you try to hold onto something too hard, it can slip through your fingers. You say this relationship ended, but you're clearly still hung up on it.

6 Swords is an opportunity to leave behind the passiveness and defeat of the

5 Swords, moving toward a new destination in life. Your life is moving on.

But you're still looking backward toward that Page of Pents instead of experiencing the relief of finally being unburdened and able to move forward.

First off, let me start by saying that I hate the word should. It implies that what you're currently experiencing or doing is wrong. What you are doing is what I said above, looking backwards from the 6 Swords to the 5 Swords. 5 Swords is a very passive card, suggesting that what's happening in this relationship that you're still hung up on is something you're allowing to happen. You don't give any indication that you're still in contact with this guy. Why not? If your connection was so deep, why aren't you moving forward with him instead of away from him?

I'm not going to interpret Temperance because you didn't.

Embracing the 2 Swords is embracing the idea that you're conflicted, that there's a choice to be made and you're currently at a stalemate. Should you embrace the stalemate? Not necessarily, but you should embrace the fact that you do have choices here, and that there's one to be made. You aren't helpless in your situation.

Judgment says that it's time for a reckoning about that 2 Swords conflict. You need to look at your actions with clear eyes and decide whether you're making the right decisions regarding this person. Was this a brief but deep connection, or is it something more than that? What ends are your current actions bringing you toward? What should you be doing to get to the place you want to be?

I hope that helps a bit.
 

aloevera

barefootlife, thank you so much for this :) it makes sense.

5 Pents - I do feel that I sacrifice something big. It was not easy at all to walk away from this person. Now I feel much better, but at the begining I felt like one of my arms was amputated. It was really hard. And yes, I still like him very much, not because I want to, but because it's still here (the feeling, I mean).

5 Swords is a very passive card, suggesting that what's happening in this relationship that you're still hung up on is something you're allowing to happen. You don't give any indication that you're still in contact with this guy. Why not? If your connection was so deep, why aren't you moving forward with him instead of away from him?

True. Nothing is happening in this relatioship at the moment besides some contact from time to time via internet, and I must say that everytime that happens is painfull and apparently leads to nothing besides more pain, so I avoid it. There are more than 1000km between us now, and I feel that insisting on this contact in this context just extends the pain instead of easing it. I must say that, whenever I say that I really had to come back here, is because there is apparently no way of surviving in my home country (where he is), and that was the reason why I moved here in the first place. Here I have a good life that I really love and cherish, so yes, I chose my well being instead of this relatioship. And at least for the moment, he has no way how to come here.
Still about the 5 of Swords: as I wrote here, the imediate feeling I got from this card was the one of a bitter wining. Like, I've chosen myself over this relationship, I should love myself first, but that was still painfull. Now you mention the passiveness of this card, which I didn't think about before. And thank you for that :)

Your final questions blew my mind. I really have to think about them carefully...

In general, your input made me consider this situation in a diferent perspective, and you gave me constructive questions to think about. Also, as I was now answering you, more understanding was coming to me. This was all very helpfull.
Many thanks :)
 

Farzon

As this card stalks you in general readings as well, I would not see it referring to this guy. On the contrary, it refers to a lesson that you have to learn.

The Page of Pentacles is something like a pupil. He is devoted, passionate about his interests and caring but a bit superficial (because he's earth of earth).

Everything you said about beginning the Tarot and this card showing up, beginning a relationship and this card showing up etc. shows that this card is trying to tell you something along the lines of "you've got a lot to learn".
 

aloevera

Farzon:

I thought about that some days ago. I started to question if I was making this all in my head, like an obsession or so, and the card would actually mentioning something that was not related to this person. So I did Thirteen's method for clarifying which area of my life was the card refering to. The answer was Love/Emotions...