Readings about others

tigerlily said:

And I think there are more unethical things to do than gossip with your cards

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Well said.

Grizabella said:

You're going to get a lot of people telling you about the "unethical" behavior of trying to read for people who aren't present.

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Shebelle said:

Thanks. I am hazy on the ethics of it... I mean, yeah, I get it. It's probs not the most ethical practice, but it's human. What I am interested in is feedback like this: is it possible to get a good reading.

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Yup, used to be you’d have had a gazillion posts telling you that reading for a non-present person without their permission is akin to ‘spying’ on that person. Then they go ahead ahead and read for ‘public people’ (stars and polititians).

Yeah – whatever…

Is it possible to get a good reading? Sure.

But like Sinduction said…

Sinduction said:

I think it's difficult to say if the readings are accurate because you don't get feedback.

I guess you just don't know if what you get is real or your own hopes.

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Now if a second person comes in and asks for a reading on a third person (spouse lover etc) is that ethical?

More important perhaps is – THAT reading will rarely be accurate as it is usually based on the second person’s perception of the third person (and its all the more complicated because you the reader know neither of them)?

Yes. This is a good discussion. I still don't have any answers, but I think I do see that the difference between phrasing things is important. That said, sometimes I wonder if I do influence the cards with what I "want" to see...

I am certain there are some people who can really predict things that are happening globally, etc. I am sure too that in extremely close relationships -- particularly w/ people you are related to -- that there is some ease in psychic communication.... But I think that the tarot works by reading my own subconscious. I think it works by accessing my hidden mind that understands my problems and what to do. But since I'm not able to really tell what's happening with other people (unless, you know, I see them and read body language, etc.), I'm not sure my tarot readings are plugged into some sort of Universal spark plug or if I am just reading my own mind's idea of what may happen....

Sorry. One more thing I wanted to add...

When I read for other people I do not like to touch their cards. I will tell them to turn their cards over, where to put them in the spread, but will not touch them myself. I don't want my energies to interfere with their reading since I really believe they choose the cards and I don't even want to influence the way they turn the cards over.

So, I guess I just answered my own question

I have to say that I have had some successful readings with similar questions. When I asked quesitons like that I do a 3 card spread. Like other people have said you don't really know unless you get some feedback or you see whatever the cards said to come to pass. But I have found them to be accurate. I asked about my boyfriend one time- he was running late so I did a 3 card spread about what was going on with him. It said he was worried about money and mentioned somethings that I already knew about. It also said that he would be coming into some and he shouldn't be worrying about it. I told him what I did while I was waiting for him and he said he was thinking about money and his money woes. So like I said it can be very accurate. Although many would say it's not ethical to do.

Shebelle said:

Hi. This is a question I've had for a while... Let's say you are asking the tarot about other people who are not in the room. For example: "What is going on with Person A?" or "Tell me about the relationship between Person A and Person B?" Do you think these yield accurate readings or is the reading more a reflection of your own hopes/fears for the person or people, etc? Thanks.

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I personally am very sure that Tarot can answer absolutely any question you ask it accurately. There are times that you find when it will not want to. I have been told at times that it is not in the querent's best interest to know and that they are meant to find out and learn the answer themselves as time unfolds, but I have never found a question the cards cannot answer.

Absolutely. I am sure that reading about another person can be accurate and that mine tend to me. Most of my questions are relationship questions. And ALL of my readings for other people are done long distance where the querent e-mails me a question and I do the reading here alone and e-mail it back to them. The person the question is about does not have to be present for the reading to be accurate.

As for it the results will be related to the readers hopes and dreams, well that is up to the skill of the reader. The right cards always come up. It is our job as readers to not let our feelings interfere with seeing clearly. That is part of the skill required to be a reader, the ability to not let our feelings interfere. We have to be able to tell when we are doing this and to take a deep breath and start over. It can be hard with emotional readings, and that is why many (if not most readers) don't read for themselves on emotional issues...it makes it hard to see clearly.

As for the ethics of reading about others my view is it is wrong if you are doing it to pry or for any negative reason. But if you are doing to help the person or make them happy then it's fine.

Asking about an ex's relationship with a new woman, wrong...that's private between them two.

Asking "What can I do to make "X" truly happy?" or "What steps can I take to stop fighting with "X" and create something harmonious and peaceful between us?" is fine. Because even if "X" does not know it, he is benefiting from it, as the advice is put into action.

Babs

Umbrae said:

Now if a second person comes in and asks for a reading on a third person (spouse lover etc) is that ethical?

More important perhaps is – THAT reading will rarely be accurate as it is usually based on the second person’s perception of the third person (and its all the more complicated because you the reader know neither of them)?

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Personally I don't agree. As I do my readings alone anyway, I don't feel I influenced by anyone's perception of anyone else. To me I ask the questions of my higher powers (G-d and angels) and they can see perfectly clearly and send me the answers.

I don't have to know them or the querent, I am talking to/working with powers who do and can see perfectly clearly and unemotionally, and then send me the answers.

Of course if the second person is not seeing or understanding the third person properly or clearly, accurate answers could come up but they migth not see them as accurate.

But that is my view of how the process works, at least for me.

Babs

I think, and know it can be very accurate, if you know how to focus your mind on the true heart of the question. However, I usually, don't do a reading about another person without at least telling them I am doing to. Not because of any ethics questions, but mostly because most of them want to know what I get anyways.

I've had some incredibly accurate readings of people who are not present. But in my opinion, you have to be able to concentrate on the question and do your best not to think about your outlook or emotions.

^_^

Yes -- and, for the record, I differentiate between doing a reading for someone when they are not present -- a reading the non-present person has requested... and deciding to ask the cards about people who have not asked for a reading, do not know the reading is taking place, etc.

I still believe that, when reading for people who are not present and have not had any input into the reading, it is quite possible that the readings reflect the will, emotion and ideas of the person doing the reading more accurately than they reflect the attitude around the person being queried...

That said, obviously in a reading that addresses the reader's relationship to a third party or, perhaps, in a love triangle issue that the querent is involved in, I think that's different. I agree a more accurate reading can be had by asking questions about others that are prefaced by "what do I need to know about".

SunChariot said:

I personally am very sure that Tarot can answer absolutely any question you ask it accurately. There are times that you find when it will not want to. I have been told at times that it is not in the querent's best interest to know and that they are meant to find out and learn the answer themselves as time unfolds, but I have never found a question the cards cannot answer.

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That's been my experience too.


As for the ethics of it - I find that very personal. I have no problem with it, in the same way I have no problem asking person A for news of person B - something I find entirely natural and uncontroversial. Replace "person A" with "Tarot deck" and you have the same result.

The question is what it might do to you if you focus too much on other people's lives at the expense of your own. If, for instance, you are constantly asking about A & B's relationship, what might it do to your own life and sanity? There is a difference between healthy interest and unhealthy obsession.

Many of us struggle with that, so I mention it

think we are getting into the realms of the different types of tarot reading, psychically or not.

if your tuning into someones energy, or their spirit guide etc you will know the information is accurate as you have that assurance as you know where the information comes from and is direct information.

if you only (and i dont mean that in a derogatory way) reading the cards then its more of a grey area as to if the reading gets diluted by reading for a 3rd party.

One of the hardest things i found in card reading (and am still working on it) is formulating the question in the way the answer makes the most sense, thats in-person or remotely. i think the cards are always right, but sometimes we ask the question in a way that makes interpreting the answer very difficult

I am glad the post hasnt descended into an ethics debate