WHAT do you wish you could tell Readers or Sitters?

DownUnderNZer said:

My friend's neighbor (Stratford or Stratfield) did this on a weekly basis and on the most part ALL she wanted to hear was that she would be getting back together with an old high school sweetheart who was actually happily married. But in mid 2013 she decided all of a sudden she had a HEALTH problem, so during her weekly rounds of seeing different Psychics and/or calling them, one Psychic finally told her she had breast cancer. She knew she was right and was convinced she had it - so went to doctors insisting on all kinds of tests ONLY to find out that she was absolutely FINE

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Well, at least it got her in there to be tested. I'd say that's a plus, not a minus. Also, I have great compassion for someone who hasn't got any other outlet for her concerns or any other excuse for interacting with another person than to just keep asking the same question. That's a sad life and I feel great empathy for such a person, even though sometimes I might get tired of answering the same question over and over.

Darkmage said:

The cards will only tell you what is most likely to happen based on the current situation and the information I am given. I'm not God, and I'm not infallible. Take everything with at least a sizeable grain of salt. If you don't like what the cards say, that's fine--that's why it's advice. If you don't like the outcome, well then, change your behaviour.

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Not everything that happens to us can be avoided or cured by a change of behavior.

And what I'd like to say to readers is, if your ego is so darned big that you look down on me as a client, thinking to yourself I'm a liar and a fool, and that you're superior to me, I'll not only not give you any business, but I'll also spread the word that you're not the person to get a helpful, insightful or compassionate reading from.

What I'd like to tell my sitters is exactly what I do tell them.

Plus, I don't have any secret desire to tell you negative things about yourself or consider you're beneath me because you're human and don't have healthy ways of dealing with the problems you encounter. I'm not anyone's Higher Power, so I don't assume you're a liar, either. Misguided and mistaken, maybe, but I don't read minds(!) so I can't really determine that.

Grizabella said:

Not everything that happens to us can be avoided or cured by a change of behavior.

Plus, I don't have any secret desire to tell you negative things about yourself or consider you're beneath me because you're human and don't have healthy ways of dealing with the problems you encounter. I'm not anyone's Higher Power, so I don't assume you're a liar, either. Misguided and mistaken, maybe, but I don't read minds(!) so I can't really determine that.

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This is true, but I've also run into a great many clients who have either caused their own problems or are exacerbating them by their actions and/or attitude. I take people's questions at face value, look at the cards, and go from there. If someone's lying to me it's neither my concern nor my business unless I'm involved in the situation--unlikely in the extreme.

While we can't always control what happens to us (and this is a big problem I have with the LoA as I've seen it used to unfairly blame the victim many many times), we *can* control how we react to $situation to a large degree. Unfortunately, there are a great many people who are simply unwilling to take responsibility for their lives and are looking for excuses to not do whatever it is they know they need to do. So they live their lives blaming other people, being angry, fearful, and judgmental, and trashing everything they touch. That's where the craving for the triple vodka sour comes in. :/

I have no desire to trash people just for the sake of trashing people. If someone comes to me for a reading, and the cards say they're being an ass, I'll tell them what I see. It's up to them to take it or leave it. This doesn't give me a license to be cruel, but I will be blunt as that's my nature. Then again, most readers know who the problem children are anyway, and once the sitters realize that everyone's closing ranks, they'll go elsewhere. That 'for entertainment only' disclaimer covers a hell of a lot of ground.

That having been said, most people I've read for over the years have been absolute joys. A lot of them already know what they want or need to do, but they just want validation. That's fine, that's what I'm here for. It's all good. If I can make someone feel better about whatever situation it is that they're facing, and maybe show them a way to deal with it, I've done my job for the day.

Barefoot Fool said:

True. But you might, oh, say, um, read the cards in a way that shows a lot of self-deception and mention that it is difficult to move through an issue when we are unable to see the truth of it.

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I'm not talking about self-deception. Often they don't know they're doing that, and I get a chance to talk about that in readings. I'm talking about the ones who stroll in with an agenda, and deliberately and consciously lie.

I don't know how they think it will benefit them. Perhaps brownie-points for being SUCH a good actor that they managed to fool even a reader? (who wasn't fooled)

Or they're just into playing stupid games with people which is probably what got them into trouble in the first place.

I've come across people like that. I call them on it, too. They're usually the types that a) are used to manipulating people and b) are entitled as hell and usually petty tyrants. I generally don't get along well with sociopaths. Usually they leave in a huff because someone's finally laid down the law with them. They also usually don't come back, thank God.

Some people just don't have any self awareness, really. Those are the ones who often deceive themselves and aren't aware they're doing it. A lot of them will also have that 'aha!' moment once someone who's not involved in $situation points out what's going on. This is not a bad thing.

greatdane said:

ATers? What would you share with the person opposite, whether the sitter or reader?

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Me as a reader: "Only give me your first name and do not give me any other information unless I specifically ask it of you, please. Think of your question for the cards as you shuffle them but do not tell me. At the end of the reading, if I do not answer your question, then you can tell me what your question was. you have full control of your destiny. The cards can only tell you what might be. I am not a doctor, so I cannot tell you what you need to do medically, however, as an empath, I am often able to feel your medical issues. I will not bring through any deceased loved one who has committed suicide or murder or who was very abusive in life or was a drug/alcohol abuser. If this happens, I will stop the reading immediately and ask you to leave. I am an intuitive reader, and so I take into consideration all that I see, feel, hear and taste. The cards are not telling you what absolutely WILL happen as things can change for you. It is difficult to be exact with a date that things will come to be. It can only be a general timing".

and, unfortunately in the state of NY, I MUST verbally tell the customer, "This reading is all for fun only and in no way should you consider anything that I read as something that will definately come to be." (or something in that general way).

Me as a customer---I do not share anything with my reader unless they specifically ask. I don't want to give too much information. But, I will tell them if they are on the right track or not--and if I do not understand what they are saying.

oh yes, I nearly forgot. if the death card appears in the reading, I have to tell them, "this card does not always mean death, in fact, it rarely does. In this case, the death card is telling you......" Whenever that card appears, my first time ever to a tarot card reading customers generally turn pale and look like they are about to faint!"

celticnoodle said:

Me as a reader: "Only give me your first name and do not give me any other information unless I specifically ask it of you, please. Think of your question for the cards as you shuffle them but do not tell me. At the end of the reading, if I do not answer your question, then you can tell me what your question was. you have full control of your destiny. The cards can only tell you what might be. I am not a doctor, so I cannot tell you what you need to do medically, however, as an empath, I am often able to feel your medical issues. I will not bring through any deceased loved one who has committed suicide or murder or who was very abusive in life or was a drug/alcohol abuser. If this happens, I will stop the reading immediately and ask you to leave. I am an intuitive reader, and so I take into consideration all that I see, feel, hear and taste. The cards are not telling you what absolutely WILL happen as things can change for you. It is difficult to be exact with a date that things will come to be. It can only be a general timing".

and, unfortunately in the state of NY, I MUST verbally tell the customer, "This reading is all for fun only and in no way should you consider anything that I read as something that will definately come to be." (or something in that general way).

Me as a customer---I do not share anything with my reader unless they specifically ask. I don't want to give too much information. But, I will tell them if they are on the right track or not--and if I do not understand what they are saying.

oh yes, I nearly forgot. if the death card appears in the reading, I have to tell them, "this card does not always mean death, in fact, it rarely does. In this case, the death card is telling you......" Whenever that card appears, my first time ever to a tarot card reading customers generally turn pale and look like they are about to faint!"

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It's interesting that New York State has such a specific clause. I have no idea if Michigan does or not but I think I would be inclined to say something if the Death card showed up because so many people have a preconceived notion about that sort of thing.

What do I wish I could tell a sitter? That they won't die if their true love doesn't come running back to them as soon as the divorce is final. And that they should be wary because if one is willing to cheat on a spouse once, there is no guarantee it won't happen again with them or someone else.

What do I wish I could tell a reader? That I don't accept the calling upon of archangels or lesser angels to do human bidding. That all that incense and candle burning gives me a migraine which distracts me and makes me want to run (with my money in hand) as far away from them as I can get and back into fresh air.

As a reader, I tell sitters all the stuff about "I'm not psychic" & "the more you tell me the better I can interpret what I'm seeing" & "I'm not a doctor/psychiatrist/attorney/accountant etc" & "No you can't sit in my chair if you're drunk unless you pay me & then you have to leave as soon as it's over"....."check out my website...."(hahaha!)

What do I not tell them that I wish they'd intuitively know....hmm...probably that it's rude to just keep on asking more questions to try to make one reading into 3 or 4. I will squeeze the last drop out of a reading but you can't change topics - sitters, it makes it look like you're a cheapskate & heck I only charge $20 to begin with.

As a sitter what I'd like to tell readers....don't get all full of yourself. I dismiss egotistical personalities as people who don't really know what they're doing. Be real (for me, anyway).

This is a great thread!

To sitters: do not have ONLY one acceptable outcome in mind, since the odds are probably 50-50ish that it isn't what the cards will say, give or take other statistical things factored in: simply put, you might hear 1) what you want or 2) something else. Do not be ready to freak out or argue if you hear, or jump to conclusions about, the 'something else'.

Like the old Alan Parsons Project song, don't let 'your whole world depend on the turn of a friendly card'.

To readers: Please examine yourself now and again with compassion and honesty--even squeeze in a little wisdom if possible. I have been with people who have given me the old blanket statement 'I've been reading for decades' spiel, and then gave me crappycrappy unprofessional readings in a style that they had obviously developed over those decades of either not getting good feedback or not heeding it. To me, that might turn people off tarot in general, plus why cultivate a bad reading style and then cling to it as one's identity? It seems like a wasted chance to really learn and be of benefit to self and others--

It is dreadfully discouraging to sit down in front of someone who looks really like she/he doesn't take basic care of himself/herself (this has happened at ren faire type things most often, and has involved things like the reader swilling giant nondiet sodas and/or gobbling sugar treats while having diabetic testing materials at hand on or visible under the table, etc.). I also disliked being with those who just sort of babble along about (this is a quote) "oh yeah, I used to get that card a lot" when some card turns up, with nothing wiser in the sitter's directions and nothing pertinent to the sitter, and not even much pertinent about when in the reader's life he got that card and what happened then--that was another I've-been-doing-this-forever claimant. I have also gotten readings so cookiecutter that the spouse and I who showed up at different times to the same reader got pretty much the same pablum although the cards dealt were different (hmmm).

I don't mean to be critical of those with health problems who look ill as readers (I have that kind of problem myself), for example, but just that there is, to me, a fine line between 'interestingly individual and doing the best one can with life challenges including health issues' and 'not connected enough to the world to function capably as a reader for which you just took my money'. There is a level of intelligence and engagement that I want to see in the reader, and good nature. No one has to be some supreme allknowing person (and I avoid those who hint at that for themselves!), but I want the reader to be reading *for me* and doing his or her best honestly and in a decently professional manner. I don't want to feel like a sucker who gave someone money to sit there and listen to his or her problems and chitchat as opposed to something about me as the sitter.

RunningWild said:

It's interesting that New York State has such a specific clause. I have no idea if Michigan does or not but I think I would be inclined to say something if the Death card showed up because so many people have a preconceived notion about that sort of thing.

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actually, a lot of the states and also individual towns/cities have laws on the book against divining for money. Some are more strict then others. In NY, it is punishable by jail time and a hefty fine. So, to stay out of jail and to keep from paying a huge fine, I will gladly post a sign saying this is for fun only.

In Baltimore, MD it was also against the law at one time. Not sure if it is still though. My cousins husband was an undercover cop, and he had to take part in raiding and arresting psychics and tarot card readers. But, he also made sure to give their information to us so we could get readings from them once they payed their fine and got back out of jail. He really hated arresting them, but had to unless they posted a sign saying for amusement only.

What do I wish I could tell a sitter? That they won't die if their true love doesn't come running back to them as soon as the divorce is final. And that they should be wary because if one is willing to cheat on a spouse once, there is no guarantee it won't happen again with them or someone else.

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yes, me too! I even have a few friends and family members I have tried to give this advice to. But people in this situation generally won't hear it and then wonder why they couldn't change him & keep him.

Around here, a business license is required. Fees vary amongst municipalities, but in Gilbert it's $50, Phoenix and Tempe it's around $100-150, and in Mesa it's $300. There's a one time $50 filing fee on top of that.

Basically it's to make sure that the person isn't a scam artist and that they pay their taxes as so much of fortunetelling fees are paid in cash. AFAIK it's not the cops that bust people that don't have their licenses, it's something like Weights and Measures and it's along the lines of a $500 civil fine if memory serves. I'd rather not deal with that.

And going to the RenFaire people with the gummi bears and the diabetic test strips--I've seen quite a bit of this along the same lines. The people that preached healthy living and being one with nature were very often overweight/obese chain smokers. Hmmkay...whatever. :/ It's one thing to have health issues that are out of one's control. It's totally another to have caused them and then lecture people about their bad behaviour. *headdesk* People like that, I just want to grab them by the collar and say that they give us all bad names and this is why we can't have nice things--but I know they wouldn't listen.

Those sitters that try to get their significant other back and wonder why they won't change can be pure gold sometimes. I like to remind them that stalking is a felony in AZ and behold, this explains the Tower and 8 of Swords in the outcome. Usually it's the first time someone's called them on their behaviour, too. *sigh*