asking about what people feels

trailanga

can someone shed light on this?

i'm just curious as some people believe it to be a code of tarot reader's ethics not to intrude into someone's thinking or feeling; yet, in the reading exchange and your readings section, we notice lots of questions of such nature. some even to the point of actually asking bit per bit of what a certain person plans to do as if s/he wants to micro-manage that person. i was even told by a moderator not to read about other people's feelings without him/her as my querent or asking for his/her consent.

then there are spread templates where it is default to ask how one feels about the other and vice versa which simply contradicts respecting people's privacy. then we also have daily tarot readings about actors and actresses. lindsay lohan, anyone?

so my question is this: up to what extent is inquiring about people's lives (feeling and thinking) ethical?
 

Sulis

For me, it's not so much an ethics thing (although I suppose there is a bit of that too), it's more of me thinking that I just don't see how tarot can see how someone who you're not really that connected to is feeling..
We see questions like 'We split up a year ago, how is he feeling or what is he thinking?' - how is tarot or anyone or anything supposed to know that???
I've even seen questions like 'What did the guy I saw on the bus this morning think of me?' - The guy on the bus doesn't even know you so how on earth do you think you're going to get the answer of how he thinks of you (if he even does think of you) from a pack of cards?

I really, really think that tarot works well when you keep the querant (the person asking the question) as the main focus. It's their reading so the reading focuses on them. You may get information about people that the querant is directly connected to (a spouse, a family member, a close friend) but the reading is still basically for and about the querant.. That may be the reader or someone coming to them with a question or for a general reading but I really do not think that tarot is a mind reading tool that you can 'use' on anyone.

As for the ethics thing - I think if you're in a relationship with someone in any way then it's fine to ask about them, keeping yourself as the main focus so something like 'How can I help xxxx do xxxx?' or 'What do I need to know about my relationship with X?' but reading 'about' someone without their knowledge, unless it's just for practicing reading techniques is a no no in my book.
If someone comes to me and wants to know how an ex is getting on with their new girlfriend for example, I advise them to ask their ex and if they don't see them any more then it's none of their business and I'd advise them that maybe a more useful question for them would be something like 'What can I do to help me to get over my ex and stop worrying about his current relationship?'

Sorry if that sounded like a bit of a rant ;).
 

Pauline Kilar

That is an excellent rant! Thank you for posting it. I get frustrated browsing the Reading Exchange forum because there are 1 or 2 members who jump on the readings, several times a day, asking one-line questions like "Will Q and I have a snog." I would like to see more in-depth readings, and I would also love to see questions that focus more on the querent's development and less on fortunetelling. Not that I expect to see any changes, but it's nice to have a rant about it. :p
 

Holly doll

That is an excellent rant! Thank you for posting it. I get frustrated browsing the Reading Exchange forum because there are 1 or 2 members who jump on the readings, several times a day, asking one-line questions like "Will Q and I have a snog." I would like to see more in-depth readings, and I would also love to see questions that focus more on the querent's development and less on fortunetelling. Not that I expect to see any changes, but it's nice to have a rant about it. :p

:thumbsup: Nothing more frustrating! I'd much rather deal with questions of growth & inner development - much more beneficial to the querent than "does he love me, does he not".
 

Cenozoic

It's up to your own morals on how you'd conduct your tarot readings.

I personally think it's fine asking about how someone feels. I mean since I'm an empath I can already feel what people are feeling most of the time anyways, so asking about it isn't a big deal for me.
 

happyfish

I agree with a lot of what's already been said. I have written a code of ethics for myself, and technically it says no third party readings. But really, the reason I don't prefer to read this way is not primarily ethics based. It's actually because this type of reading just doesn't fit in with my view of the benefits of tarot. It doesn't bother me if someone else does third party readings, but I use tarot as a tool for personal growth in the querent. Asking about someone else's feelings doesn't help them grow, at least in my perspective.
 

BeyondtheVeil

trailanga

can someone shed light on this?

i'm just curious as some people believe it to be a code of tarot reader's ethics not to intrude into someone's thinking or feeling; yet, in the reading exchange and your readings section, we notice lots of questions of such nature. some even to the point of actually asking bit per bit of what a certain person plans to do as if s/he wants to micro-manage that person. i was even told by a moderator not to read about other people's feelings without him/her as my querent or asking for his/her consent.

then there are spread templates where it is default to ask how one feels about the other and vice versa which simply contradicts respecting people's privacy. then we also have daily tarot readings about actors and actresses. lindsay lohan, anyone?

so my question is this: up to what extent is inquiring about people's lives (feeling and thinking) ethical?

It is totally up to YOU :thumbsup:

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but that doesn't mean that you have to take them on as your own. You decide for yourself what you feel is okay. :heart:

I personally will read on other people, both for my curiosity in my personal life, and for a client. Meaning, if I have a contractor coming, you BET I'm going to read on them to see if they are going to rip me off, do a good job, etc. I learned the hard way that I should have done that. lol

I will also read on people's feelings for me/about me and/or if the querent wants to know something. I do not find that unethical and never have. If the cards didn't want me to know... I wouldn't.


Hope that helps some! You will always have people who try to push their way of thinking on you 'as the only way", but honestly it's not. It is "their" opinion/choice and nothing more.

When I first started Tarot there were some ridiculous 'rules' that I later found out were actually only people's opinions.

Do what you feel is right and don't let anyone else tell you what that is. It is part of learning and growing, so open up and you will know what is right for you.


Brightest Blessings! :heart:
BeyondtheVeil
 

BeyondtheVeil

Cenozoic

It's up to your own morals on how you'd conduct your tarot readings.

I personally think it's fine asking about how someone feels. I mean since I'm an empath I can already feel what people are feeling most of the time anyways, so asking about it isn't a big deal for me.


Exactly! :thumbsup:

I thought doing Tarot would fix that problem for me, but it has just made the other things stronger. lol



Brightest Blessings,:heart:
BeyondtheVeil
 

Grizabella

None of us lives in a vacuum, so we can't avoid reading about others who are not the sitter. For instance, if you ask "what can I do to help X" you're still reading about X because if you weren't, you wouldn't know what would help them, would you? You're in fact reading about them. :)

The questions I really try to avoid are "is he cheating on me?" kind of questions. And asking about how your ex's sex life is going with someone else is a nunna. (Nunna yo' damn business.) I haven't ever had that question before but I'm sure it's been asked before.

I think each reader has to find their own comfort zone. There's nothing wrong with preferring not to read about certain things. The holier than thou attitude that can go along with telling the sitter you won't read about some specific thing is unfortunate, though, because it gives the sitter a feeling that they're a creep for asking and if someone doesn't feel good about themselves, they don't make more positive choices for themselves in the future. Other than that, though, it's up to you what you do and don't read on.
 

gregory

For me, it's not so much an ethics thing (although I suppose there is a bit of that too), it's more of me thinking that I just don't see how tarot can see how someone who you're not really that connected to is feeling..
We see questions like 'We split up a year ago, how is he feeling or what is he thinking?' - how is tarot or anyone or anything supposed to know that???
I've even seen questions like 'What did the guy I saw on the bus this morning think of me?' - The guy on the bus doesn't even know you so how on earth do you think you're going to get the answer of how he thinks of you (if he even does think of you) from a pack of cards?

I really, really think that tarot works well when you keep the querant (the person asking the question) as the main focus. It's their reading so the reading focuses on them. You may get information about people that the querant is directly connected to (a spouse, a family member, a close friend) but the reading is still basically for and about the querant.. That may be the reader or someone coming to them with a question or for a general reading but I really do not think that tarot is a mind reading tool that you can 'use' on anyone.

As for the ethics thing - I think if you're in a relationship with someone in any way then it's fine to ask about them, keeping yourself as the main focus so something like 'How can I help xxxx do xxxx?' or 'What do I need to know about my relationship with X?' but reading 'about' someone without their knowledge, unless it's just for practicing reading techniques is a no no in my book.
If someone comes to me and wants to know how an ex is getting on with their new girlfriend for example, I advise them to ask their ex and if they don't see them any more then it's none of their business and I'd advise them that maybe a more useful question for them would be something like 'What can I do to help me to get over my ex and stop worrying about his current relationship?'

Sorry if that sounded like a bit of a rant ;).

That is an excellent rant! Thank you for posting it. I get frustrated browsing the Reading Exchange forum because there are 1 or 2 members who jump on the readings, several times a day, asking one-line questions like "Will Q and I have a snog." I would like to see more in-depth readings, and I would also love to see questions that focus more on the querent's development and less on fortunetelling. Not that I expect to see any changes, but it's nice to have a rant about it. :p
Joins in communal rant with wild enthusiasm....