OshoZen 5 of Clouds (swords)

Briar Rose

OshoZen 5 of Clouds (swords) :T5S
Comparison

The card shows 2 trees, one with brown rough bark, and one green, and smooth (bamboo).

::tears:: I am at that age (45) were I do compare my looks (okay, I admit that) to 20 yr. olds).


ewww, this was a tough one. I hope I am not appearing to shallow. We all have our 'thing' we deal with.

There's a group theraphy session right there!
 

squeakmo9

Makes me think of that song:
"everyone is beautiful, in their own way..."

I think it wonderful when someone recognizes that special spark that makes you, you...something beyond the physical, something rather unique.
The most attractive people, have been, for me, those who were different from me. It was always interesting to understand that what drew me to them, in the first place, just made it easier to sense that at the core of everything we were the same.
 

Alan Ross

HeavensVault said:
I am at that age (45) were I do compare my looks (okay, I admit that) to 20 yr. olds. ewww, this was a tough one. I hope I am not appearing to shallow. We all have our 'thing' we deal with.
I don't think you're shallow. In modern society, everyone compares. We are constantly inundated with messages that reinforce our sense of inadequacy. Much of modern marketing is designed to make us feel that we need this product or that product in order to appear younger, thinner, or more attractive. We are a competitive society that expects us to compare ourselves with others, and then rate ourselves and others on a scale with "Losers" on the bottom and "Winners" on the top.

I know the folly of comparing, but I find myself doing it anyway. I'm not young enough, fit enough, rich enough, smart enough. I wish I could just give it all up and really learn to deeply appreciate that I cannot truly compare myself with others, or others with myself. I wish I could just be content to follow my own unique life path and respect the right of others to do the same.
 

Grizabella

For me as a woman, this gets worse with age. Especially since, at 47, I had to be put on high dose prednisone for extended periods of time. I'd always been very slender and attractive----and for someone who has been sexually abused as a child, they see their self-worth as being how attractive they are to men---so almost doubling my weight right at menopause came as a double whammy. I went into a deep, deep depression. My late husband had problems with impotency right about then, so call it a triple whammy for me because I thought it was because of my overweight state.

I've now reached a comfortable point where I like being alone. I like who I am and like my own company. My feeling about men is that first, I'm healed of my relationship addiction so that I don't need a man in my life to define and validate who I am. And second, even if I were to lose weight and become desirable again, I'd be thinking to myself "hey, you didn't want me when I was overweight so I know why you want me now and if you can't want me for who I am inside, begone!" :D

I don't compare myself to anyone now. And I'm actually grateful to have gone through the agony of losing my physical attractiveness because if I hadn't, my old age would be horribly hard to get through, I think.

Comparing ourselves to others is something I think we're taught in a competitive society that stresses striving to be number one in everything. It's not emphasised enough that if you fall short of being number one, it's still good to be number two, three----or even to come in last, because all those things have their place. Someone has to be them to make things complete. It's too bad people have to spend almost their entire lives learning not to compare themselves to others because they're okay as they are.
 

Alan Ross

Lyric said:
It's not emphasised enough that if you fall short of being number one, it's still good to be number two, three----or even to come in last, because all those things have their place.
I think this is a very good point. I do a lot of running (slowly). I've been in a few races (5K's, 10K's, etc) and one thing I've noticed is that most runners don't worry much about where in the standings they finish. Mostly, they're either concerned with setting a PR (personal record), so they're competing against themselves, or they're just interested in the comraderie of running with hundred or thousands of other runners. I wish more of us could take the same attitude in life.

I live not far from the San Francisco Bay Area. The biggest race in San Francisco is the Bay to Breakers. While the elite runners fight for the lead at the front of the pack, in the rear you have the runners in costume, some carrying kegs of beer. It is a total party scene. It's the runners, walkers, and stumblers at the back having themselves a grand time that give the race its distinctive character. Maybe there is another lesson there. It doesn't matter where you finish in the "race" as long as you're having a good time along the way.
 

Grizabella

Alan Ross said:
It doesn't matter where you finish in the "race" as long as you're having a good time along the way.

How true! And the sooner a person learns this in life, the better off they are. :)
 

Tansey Ella

edited
 

Judith D

Oddly enough, until I read the above threads, I had not even considered this card in the light of human beauty, or comparing body shape or weight. Now I can't get it out of my mind. I was thinking along the lines of better than / more useful than / more valuable than.
I am about to reach 55; am short and definitely a little podgy but not too much - just enough to be trying to get rid of some (and telling myself it's for my health!). I have almost no hair at the moment as we have had the local cancer society shavathon, and my husband and son and I all had shaves (I at least kept about a centimetre) as the subject is rather a personal one and well worth supporting. It doesn't bother me much, as my hair is usually short and if you don't like it, don't look. I have had a few odd looks and comments, but I really don't worry. Getting older is actually okay. But then I am doing it in tandem with a husband whom I still find attractive, and my life is much fuller and better than it was when I was younger. I rarely compare myself or my life with others except favourably, because I enjoy who and where I am in life. I can see the value in all the 'other' because I can now find it in myself.
If you compare this with RWS five of swords: that is about self-esteem so perfect. It's what Robin Wood calls her 'Nyaa-nya-nya-nyaa-nya' card - about deceit and cunning, and competition. To compare invites competition, and the desire to win, to be 'on top'. Perhaps I find the Comparison card unthreatening because I do not appear to have a competitive bone in my body - can't see the point. Yet my husband can't see the point of playing bowls for fun, he needs a competition to really enjoy it. Thank goodness we are all different.
 

ana luisa

I´ve been getting this card a lot lately. Can it mean jealousy? I always see the bamboo looking at the oak as if he would want to be that strong and old and imposing... By the same token, it could be a wake up call to the reader saying every one can be equally important even if the wrapping may differ a lot.:)
 

Master_Margarita

This card reminds me why mudita is said to be the hardest of the four brama viharas to cultivate. It also reminds me why two of the Ten Commandments address coveting.

It is fundamentally unnatural for us to see the good things happen to other people and not desire them for ourselves, because we view the world as being limited and resources as scarce.

In truth we expand the resources of the world when we take joy in the pleasure of others without seeking to possess their pleasures and joy. But it is so hard to get to that point.