Tarot Relationship Readings, etc.

So, I've been reading Corrine Kenner's quite good book, "Tall Dark Stranger: Tarot for Love and Romance" (Llewellyn, 2005), but also over the years I often see tarot spreads specifically for Love Readings, but none of them have, thus far, focussed on navigating the negative paths and emotions within relationships or on account of relationships. I have yet to see a Spread explore the potential Trust Issues, for example, that one might have. For example, if someone were interested in getting together with me I would not be surprised if they pulled the 8 of Swords in relation to the 3 of Swords because I was emotionally scarred and am deeply distrustful of other Gay men who might show an interest in me. This is, of course, because my First Kiss (first everything) emotionally scarred me--he knew I was in love with him, yet he sent me conflicting messaged; he would come to my door as a passionate lover and then rub my face in all of the men he was screwing!), but also due to Iowa's messed up culture... The iowa Gay community seems to treat the concept of dating as a joke! I cannot tell you how many men I have met and asked out, only to have them ALL stand me up! So, rather than a "damsel in distress" interpretation that Kenner gives to the 8 of Swords, due to my own experiences, I would inter prate that card (if it were in relation to me) as signifying emotional/ psychic walls of distrust due to previous heartbreak or life experiences, perhaps because of Mind Games being involved!

This morning, for example, if you performed a "Cupid Love Reading" and asked if someone you fancied was "shy", well you might inter prate the drawn card as if they are, but due to the question one might not realize that there's a deeper reason for their shyness. They might have deeply held Trust Issues that the readers might utterly miss out on. So, when you try to hang out with this fellow they might behave accordingly. As a result, they might behave stand-offish, as I often do, or just keep to themselves afterward and blow you off.

But, I would like to see more books on the tarot and relationships that are far more penetrating (even within spreads that are posted on-line). Not everything is all roses and rainbows! If you are interested in someone, they could be Damaged Goods, and the Querant would need to ask themselves if they are ready to take on the role of a counselor to heal them and make them Whole due to their underlying issues. Yet, I also know of many Occult Shops in which their Readers are instructed never to tell their clients anything even remotely negative; to keep every reading utterly positive and all White Light and glitter, even if the Reader sees something far different, and deeper, which needs to be resolved! Books on the tarot that discuss relationships also seem to be justified towards that extreme by ignoring many of the emotional pitfalls. Due to my Trust Issues i sometimes have a habit of actually pushing people away since I have been so deeply hurt by both friends and lovers over the years. I believe that it is the responsibility of the Reader to navigate these issues in a respectful manner, to bring healing to those involved whenever possible.

If it hasn't been written, I think that a counselor who also reads the tarot professionally, ought to write a book on counseling for the Tarot Reader! Such a book is WAY above my pay grade!

You could make a spread with positions like " what do I need to know about his faults? ... And then ... His fears.... And desires (not physical but what is he ultimately someone you should think about in a potential relationship)

Sorry for your experiences, MM.

It seems it would be up to the individual reader, as violetdaisy said, to create spreads and interpret as needed. There are many cards that would represent negative motives you mentioned. They could easily fall in the "other person" position, telling you about their drives.

You can always do away with complicated spreads. 3 cards can tell you about someone you have in mind.

MM, I do think it depends entirely on whom you're reading for; if I were reading for you and, you seemed "open" to suggestions or counseling I would certainly bring it up. Some people get extremely uncomfortable with deeper readings so most readers will touch only briefly on those sticky swords cards (take it from an 8 of swords girl myself; )

VioletDaisy, oh absolutely one *could* employ positions along those lines, however, over the years I have never seen an author write about these issues, nor have I seen a Tarot Reader (not that there are none!) post a spread that incorporates such issues. As a result they can seem very one-dimensional.

Oh! Another thought occurred to me. I saw a very shallow romance spread to determine if someone you admire is "into" you. But, what if he's a Player? That thought rarely seems to be covered in general spreads geared towards someone you have a crush on.

I'm a writer and one thing I've seen said is that if you want a book on some topic nobody has written on, write it yourself. There's a big area there that you could write about so maybe that's a niche for you if you write or if you think you might like to tackle the subject. It may be your calling.

There's a book written by an author who slips my mind at the moment called Tarot for the Healing Heart. You might want to google that and maybe it would be a good book for your issues.

The only person who should read as a counselor is a formally trained counselor with their diploma framed on the wall. Tarot readers are mostly not trained as counselors and could do much more harm than good by putting themseles in the position of a counselor. That's a very important issue. It really bugs me when I see anyone putting themselves in the position of counselor when they're not trained. There are formally trained counselors who do use the cards in their work, but they're educated and skilled in the way to do that safely.