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69. Defence: group – self (6 yellow)
http://www.rainring.co.uk/Cards/Defence/69.aspx
The Image
The scene, an interior, is dominated by the figure of a young woman who sits on a carpet on the wooden floor. She faces us, her right leg being bent at the knee, which rests on the floor so that the heel of her right leg lies close to her groin. The Left leg is bent with the knee raised. She wears night clothes: a grey-blue dressing gown with hood over a white shirt, and a pyjama-like lower garment in yellow. Her feet are bare. Her right hand, positioned at her belly, holds the dressing-gown closed, whilst in her left hand she holds up a simple lamp which radiates light onto and around her. Her eyes are focussed inwards and her face, though beautiful, is set in a closed and determined expression. Behind and slightly to her right, in the shadows, we can make out the silhouette of a young man sitting hunched up and facing away from us. To her left against the rear wall we see the bottom rung of a ladder leading upwards.
The meaning
Defence: holding one’s personal ground in a couple or other relationship; in defence, protection of the self is emphasised, sometimes to excess
A General
Card 69 brings us to the self group of the Love Ways set. Conjugal relations occupy varying positions on the continuum between ‘me’ and ‘us’. Defence lies squarely at the ‘me’ end of that continuum. In its extreme form, it implies that there will be no conjugation at all; otherwise, it refers to a strong emphasis being placed on the individual within the couple. Defence is concerned to ensure individual identity is preserved within the context of Union, but it frequently goes over the top and becomes a protection of the self in circumstances where this does not promote the needs of the couple. Nevertheless, Defence is also involved in that most crucial human attribute: refusing the pressure of the group or crowd; individuality, a priceless asset for the human psyche, is unthinkable without Defence.
B Specific
You may have two motives in taking the position of Defence: the positive one is that of promoting your value and worth as an individual; the negative one is an avoidance of closeness driven by fear. You need Defence as a counterweight to Attraction – the latter pulls you towards the other, the former pulls you away. To achieve a successful relationship, you need to find the right balance between the two. So Defence is both your friend and your enemy – you must use it, but you cannot afford to let it take you over.
In the first place, you take the attitude that to become involved in a couple relationship should add to your life, not subtract from it. You will not give up on your own life, identity, pursuits and fulfilment just in order to satisfy the exigencies of your partner or even of your role as a parent. But does this not require a degree of hardening of your heart? Can you afford to judge every circumstance in your relationship in terms of how much independence it will cost you? This attitude will end up sending passion out of the window. Defence likes control, likes to feel which way the wind is blowing: you use your intuition to keep track of what is likely to come up. Your opponent turns out to be sexual passion, with its destabilising ability to sweep away your precautions.
So the second aspect of Defence shows itself to be one of resistance and refusal – whatever threatens your control is unwelcome; to be minimised at least and at best to be avoided altogether. This form of emotional risk-aversion destroys psychic balance, given its ultimate insistence in emphasising your virtues and value as an individual, and attempting to justify the minimisation of the place of the other in your life. When this has happened, it shows that you have gone too far into Defence.
Finally, this whole scenario can occur on an inner level also. For instance, if you attempt to follow a psychotherapy treatment, but refuse to countenance any possibility that your personality and identity may undergo changes, then you cannot possibly evolve and grow as a person. Similarly, in other situations such as your working life, if you cannot admit ignorance, inadequacy and error, then you will present an intractable problem for those responsible for your guidance and development.
Divination summary
self-protection; defending your individual identity; resisting submersion in the couple or group; assertion of your own self-worth; experiencing closeness as a potential threat; refusal to surrender control; resistance to fluidity and change; tendency to withdraw from, or avoid engaging in sensual contact.
http://www.rainring.co.uk/Cards/Defence/69.aspx
The Image
The scene, an interior, is dominated by the figure of a young woman who sits on a carpet on the wooden floor. She faces us, her right leg being bent at the knee, which rests on the floor so that the heel of her right leg lies close to her groin. The Left leg is bent with the knee raised. She wears night clothes: a grey-blue dressing gown with hood over a white shirt, and a pyjama-like lower garment in yellow. Her feet are bare. Her right hand, positioned at her belly, holds the dressing-gown closed, whilst in her left hand she holds up a simple lamp which radiates light onto and around her. Her eyes are focussed inwards and her face, though beautiful, is set in a closed and determined expression. Behind and slightly to her right, in the shadows, we can make out the silhouette of a young man sitting hunched up and facing away from us. To her left against the rear wall we see the bottom rung of a ladder leading upwards.
The meaning
Defence: holding one’s personal ground in a couple or other relationship; in defence, protection of the self is emphasised, sometimes to excess
A General
Card 69 brings us to the self group of the Love Ways set. Conjugal relations occupy varying positions on the continuum between ‘me’ and ‘us’. Defence lies squarely at the ‘me’ end of that continuum. In its extreme form, it implies that there will be no conjugation at all; otherwise, it refers to a strong emphasis being placed on the individual within the couple. Defence is concerned to ensure individual identity is preserved within the context of Union, but it frequently goes over the top and becomes a protection of the self in circumstances where this does not promote the needs of the couple. Nevertheless, Defence is also involved in that most crucial human attribute: refusing the pressure of the group or crowd; individuality, a priceless asset for the human psyche, is unthinkable without Defence.
B Specific
You may have two motives in taking the position of Defence: the positive one is that of promoting your value and worth as an individual; the negative one is an avoidance of closeness driven by fear. You need Defence as a counterweight to Attraction – the latter pulls you towards the other, the former pulls you away. To achieve a successful relationship, you need to find the right balance between the two. So Defence is both your friend and your enemy – you must use it, but you cannot afford to let it take you over.
In the first place, you take the attitude that to become involved in a couple relationship should add to your life, not subtract from it. You will not give up on your own life, identity, pursuits and fulfilment just in order to satisfy the exigencies of your partner or even of your role as a parent. But does this not require a degree of hardening of your heart? Can you afford to judge every circumstance in your relationship in terms of how much independence it will cost you? This attitude will end up sending passion out of the window. Defence likes control, likes to feel which way the wind is blowing: you use your intuition to keep track of what is likely to come up. Your opponent turns out to be sexual passion, with its destabilising ability to sweep away your precautions.
So the second aspect of Defence shows itself to be one of resistance and refusal – whatever threatens your control is unwelcome; to be minimised at least and at best to be avoided altogether. This form of emotional risk-aversion destroys psychic balance, given its ultimate insistence in emphasising your virtues and value as an individual, and attempting to justify the minimisation of the place of the other in your life. When this has happened, it shows that you have gone too far into Defence.
Finally, this whole scenario can occur on an inner level also. For instance, if you attempt to follow a psychotherapy treatment, but refuse to countenance any possibility that your personality and identity may undergo changes, then you cannot possibly evolve and grow as a person. Similarly, in other situations such as your working life, if you cannot admit ignorance, inadequacy and error, then you will present an intractable problem for those responsible for your guidance and development.
Divination summary
self-protection; defending your individual identity; resisting submersion in the couple or group; assertion of your own self-worth; experiencing closeness as a potential threat; refusal to surrender control; resistance to fluidity and change; tendency to withdraw from, or avoid engaging in sensual contact.
