A question of Ethics..

So what is everyone's take of doing readings to gain insight into someone else's life/relationships? Certainly, its none of our business what is going on in someone else's life - but sometimes curiousity overpowers this..
How accurate do you think a reading is, when it doesn't have any of the 'physical' energies of the other people the reading is about.. ?
Jenny

I think the ethical question is why do you want to know about someone's life/relationships?

Is it because you want to help?

Or is it because you want to know how s/he feels about you?

If it the later, you're better off talking to the person concerned.

I'm one of those that will read on anything and don't feel anything is wrong with that.

It's up to you to decide for yourself. I don't think intentions make any difference. It's only a way to justify it to yourself.

I think it boils down to a do unto others question. Would you be upset if someone read on you/your life without your permission? Your answer to that question should hopefully inform your decision on whether or not to read about others.

I tend not to read on other people's lives except for how I'm involved with them. I wouldn't read on "How is X doing?" for myself or for a Querent, but I would read on "What can I do for X at this point in their life?"

There's no right or wrong in tarot, so if you feel comfortable reading about others, you should do so.

Rodney

I have a particularly acute sense of smell... I can often tell things about people that they think are hidden (pregnancy, recent argument, arousal, illness, fear, depression, drugs, abuse). Is it ethical for me to deliberately sniff an aquaintance? Or a friend if I think something is going on? My boss? The guy I just met at the bar?

How would YOU feel if I did it to you?

I think if you did it very discreetly, it might be okay. But if you go about it like a bloodhound, then people would probably find it offensive.

I also don't see anything wrong with it. I never share the fact that I do it or the insight I receive from it with anyone and coming from an emotionally repressed family, sometimes it's the only way I'm going to find out why someone is acting a certain way. Talking to them won't get me anywhere. I have also found that my readings are incredibly accurate, the same as if they were sitting in front of me.

I don't know how accurate or ethical "other" readings are and I sense that the ethics are thorny and that the most accurate readings are ones in which our presence is inserted. Now, I freely admit I do "other" readings and a lot of people request them So, my feeling is that the way to phrase an "other" question is: "What do I (the querent) need to know about X?" OR as is often the case in these readings: "What do I (the querent) need to know about X's relationship with Y?" I am of the mind that this phrasing shifts the emphasis from "Tell me about X and Y!" to "What information is helpful to me, the querent, to know about this?" In other words: you are allowing your presence to become part of the reading as the reading is about what you should know... Or not know.

See, I figure it gives the cards the opportunity to either let you know the answer to the question you asked OR to suggest you reflect on your motives for asking Does that make sense?

In a related discussion, I've posted a question on a similar subject at the end of a very long thread. Take a peek: http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?t=81444

All the way at the end, I had a question about how to perform an "other" reading using this method.

rwcarter said:

I tend not to read on other people's lives except for how I'm involved with them. I wouldn't read on "How is X doing?" for myself or for a Querent, but I would read on "What can I do for X at this point in their life?

Click to expand...

Is there a particular spread(s) that you use for addressing the ""What can I do for X at this point in their life?" question? (I'm always on the lookout for new spreads )

I don't like doing third party readings and I don't ask questions like 'What's my boyfriend thinking?' or 'What's my boyfriend doing?' or even 'What does he think of me?' I just don't feel comfortable doing that so I don't think the results I'd get if I did would be very good.

My main focus is the person I'm reading for and I think that it's most empowering for the sitter if the question focuses on them. For relationship readings, if there is only one sitter then I'll help them formulate a question focusing on them but I'll include the odd positional meaning about the other person. I make it clear to the sitter though that the reading is from their perspective.

I think ethics are very personal though and shouldn't be set in stone so I'm not saying that I'll never do a third party reading. I think each situation should be judged individually. It's almost like a gut reaction - you know when someone asks you to read about something that you're uncomfortable with, so you won't do it.