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Jenever7 
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10 of Wands in a relationship question


The ten of wands has come up frequently for me in questioning a relationship. I am having trouble understanding whether the relationship is a burden to my partner or does he take on this "burden" willingly? I understand out of context that is a vague question, but I'm interested in hearing what you think in general when you see this card in any relationship question - and especially as an outcome to an otherwise positive spread. Thanks!
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yirabeth 
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I'd see it as a burden that can't be carried alone for long..so in a relationship sense, will the partner help carry the load? Or is it one of those cases where one partner is "responsible" for maintaining the relationship and keeping it on track? In the case of the latter, is the load going to be too much? Think on that and be realistic with yourself...

~Yira



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pasara 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenever7
The ten of wands has come up frequently for me in questioning a relationship. I am having trouble understanding whether the relationship is a burden to my partner or does he take on this "burden" willingly? I understand out of context that is a vague question, but I'm interested in hearing what you think in general when you see this card in any relationship question - and especially as an outcome to an otherwise positive spread. Thanks!
Context is everything, so only you can answer this. But in general what might be helpful to you is if you would take some time to get the other tens out and do some comparing. The 10 of Cups and the 10 of Pents in general give very positive pictures of fulfillment. 10 of Swords of course is something else altogether, and I think if that card came up you might do a bit of worrying.

The 10 of Wands is a burden, or at least a heavy sense of responsibility, taken on willingly or not, that in the long run is difficult to sustain. In a relationship spread I would really look at what the balance of power and responsibility is in the relationship. Is one partner carrying too much emotionally, financially, practically, or otherwise? Is one partner more needy or demanding? Is one partner more aloof or blase about keeping the fire alive? It could be that one partner is not putting a lot of demands on the other, but the whole idea or actually reality of being in a committed relationship feels oppressive.

This card has come up many times in spreads concerning my husband before because I have had a lot of medical issues that have been extremely draining on him. It didn't indicate that he did not love me or want to be with me, but it was very taxing taking care of me.

Even though you are looking at a relationship spread, wands are not about feelings, but a 10 of Wands situation can lead to emotional trials. Take a good honest evaluation of where this card might fit in your situation.
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WalesWoman 
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If you think of 10's as completion and Wands as the things that you want and work for and strive for and are passionate about, a life force... it gives it a whole new feeling. It's everything you ever wanted and desired and are willing to climb mountains, because it's worth getting there.



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nisaba 
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It's worth reminding the OP that, especially relationship-wise and parenthood-wise, burdens that are originally taken on perfectly willingly, have a way of wearing you down and wearing you out. While something that is not seen in the beginning as a burden may or may not become one, in the vast majority of cases, when it is seen as a burden in the beginning, it becomes heavier through time, and more draining.

This is just basic human-stuff.
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WalesWoman 
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The first one is my sunny side up view this is another. Like Nisaba said, about 10 Wands and relationships and burdens, nothing feels very heavy when you first pick up up and start carrying it and even feels kind of good, until exhaustion kicks in. No one said any relationship isn't a lot of hard work, even the very good ones... they all take a lot of effort and sometimes it takes someone putting in a lot more effort OR someone is taking on the whole load of trying to make it work.

10 Wands could be sort of like the Little Red Hen that found some wheat and grew it and no one wanted to help her till the soil, tend the wheat, harvest it, grind it into flour, make dough... everyone had other things to do, until it was time to eat it. Someone is going to feel overworked and under appreciated and resentful after a while.



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Jenever7 
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Hmm, I can really see the idea of the relationship through time, how it starts out "light" but over time there inevitably come responsibilities and accountabilities. Yet the man on my card plods along, so it is not pushing him away...yet. Although I have to say, I love the theory that it suggests "moving mountains" to achieve something. Hard to know if one actually gets there when the ten of wands shows up as the outcome. I suppose it does suggest that one will continue to trudge along, keep carrying the load, but as some of you have pointed out, that doesn't make for a very happy relationship.

Thanks for your incredible insights. I've just joined the forum here and it's amazing how just reading through previous threads is expanding my views on cards I thought I knew very well. It's really great getting new perspectives on the ones that have had me stumped for some time.
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