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Doesn't professional mean leave your personal judgments at the door?

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Doesn't professional mean leave your personal judgments at the door?


I am not sure if this goes here since this is a point of view from a me as a client but it has helped me think of my reading behavior when I read for clients, paying and non paying. I never want to do what this woman did to me or make a client feel what she made me feel But there has to be a line or professionalism and tact that this woman apparently does not see it.

**RANT AHEAD**

I have been going through a lot of personal drama recently so I opted to pay for a reading from someone who's on a website with "recommended" readers. They go through a tough screening process supposedly by a very well known Author and Rootworker, Reader Etc. so i said what the heck I need an objective view and advice. I also had a specific question that i wanted answered because it was bothering me for a few months and hearing the answer to it would not change the decisions that I already made on the matter. I just wanted to KNOW plus I am paying right? It was bugging me and I wanted to know if a hunch was right is all. Well let me tell you after this reading I want to hang myself basically. this woman left me feeling WORSE about myself than I initially went in not to mention she didnt even read on what i wanted.

She asks "what is your question". I stated my question and God knows why I gave her some background so she would understand. WHY! She goes off saying "oh no that is silly you have to move on and let all this go. I will give you a reading because you paid for one but you have to get over it and move on" not to mention I know what to do I called for confirmation on something else. Why would you state your personal opinion on this when arent you just supposed to relay the message in the cards?? Then she pulls cards EVERYTHING was bad (most cards were reversed), I mean everything....My spiritual work doesnt work so I should stop doing it (what?!) I have daddy issues which affect relationships (huh!?) at one point she goes into my past relationship and says "he left probably because there is another girl waiting for him, I am not saying that is true because I dont see it in the cards but that is probably why" (What??) how much sense does that make?? so since she brought him up I asked "did he ever care about me or does he?" her answer? "thats not important, who cares? what matters is that he is no longer here and he is never coming back" so i asked was that in the cards? which card are you looking at?" "no it didnt come up in the cards thats why I'm telling you" then she goes off telling me to forget the relationship and move on etc. and that was not my question to begin with. I know that sometimes your question doesnt show up and other things do but she didnt even try to answer it. OH! and THEN she has the nerve (I started crying on the phone now) to tell me that since I am 29 years old, I am at the age of being a Queen and i should be married and have many kids by now and if this was the 1920s I would have gotten married when i was 22 She said you will get married and have kids because you are smart and pretty. i asked, is that in the cards that you pulled? "No, its just common sense I know it" Lady!

My point is aren't you supposed to remain objective and non-judgemental as a reader, specially if you call yourself a professional?? I felt SO judged and uncomfortable. At some point I felt SO bad that I agreed with her! like "yea ok I guess that could make sense....I dont know...." I dont want anyone to sugarcoat things for me. I appreciate honesty but calling me a loser with daddy issues doesnt HELP me. Yes, I use personal anecdotes but only to clarify a point so the person understands what I am trying to say but I never impose my beliefs or opinions on Quarants. Like she told me to not believe in Fate and Soulmates and star crossed lover etc. I didnt even bring up that topic but she went off into not believing in signs etc. and I'm sorry but I am not changing my beliefs because you think they are dumb! I have read for Jewish/Christian people and I never told them to not believe in what they believe in. I can take bad news but she was not even reading the cards and that bothers me. I would NEVER want a quarant to leave feeling the way i felt afterwards and feel now which is pretty darn depressed. Where's the line? Yea its hard to remain objective sometimes specially if you've gone through a similar situation but READ the cards! I dont care about your friend's father who did this, that man is not my father! At one point I was reading my own cards. "Your dad got the king of pents. describe him to me" "uhm....yes he is like the king of pents....etc" I'm just upset.

where is the line as a reader? where do you start stating your own opinions and should you even do that?? where does she get off judging me for being 29 and single!! oh sorry I am such a loser in your eyes! and here I have been so worried about me sucking as a reader and not being able to hlep people and there are people out there who do this?! Some of you may remember that reader I went to years ago who said my ex left me because he was gay and I would soon die from AIDS and I had Satan inside me....well THIS reading I got yesterday comes in second place as worst readings ever!!!!!

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Holy crap - I vote her the "worst reader of the year".
Sounds like she was more interested in giving her own uninformed opinions, rather that give you a professional reading. Doesn't sound like she even read your cards.
Her narcissism is a little overwhelming.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Glitterbird
Holy crap - I vote her the "worst reader of the year".
Sounds like she was more interested in giving her own uninformed opinions, rather that give you a professional reading. Doesn't sound like she even read your cards.
Her narcissism is a little overwhelming.
Yea I am speechless not to mention I am SEVERELY depressed because of her reading. I just feel hopeless. Her reading didnt even amtch any reading i've ever gotten here or by my friends on here or any paid readings but it sticks out because it was so negative that I cant shake the feeling off. I never want to do this to anyone!! Her tone of voice was so dismissive passive aggrsive "honey, please, move on you are 29 you need to be stable and married!" wtf man. I am not ready for marriage. yes stable relationship, I welcome it, but I also welcome stable friendships and money and if she would've READ my cards maybe SOME of that would've come accross?? ugh im so depressed.
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Her negative energy is still clinging to you. I'm not sure how to tell you how to get rid of it. Maybe some of the other smart people on here can give you ideas.
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That's appalling.

You HAVE to find a way to ignore it. Think of it like a disease you caught and make yourself something to cure it..... She must be some sad sack to pull a stunt like that.
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Pao?!
I really can't believe the amount of c**p this person told you!!! I know that you know that its cold reading and that she's fake ... what i am pleading for you to do - report her in all the ways and to all the instances that could be relevant!
I am at another part of the planet, so i am not sure how it goes where you are - but if its an established business with website and everything - report to owners, report to other readers, tell to everyone you know, spread the word and make sure that this person goes out of business!!!
Pao, please, ask for money return too.
I am sure that you didn't believe a word this obnoxious individual said - not even for a moment.

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thank you guys I'm trying to get rid of this negativity. i will keep doing reiki like i did last night.

Quote:
Originally Posted by moderndayruth
Pao?!
I really can't believe the amount of c**p this person told you!!! I know that you know that its cold reading and that she's fake ... what i am pleading for you to do - report her in all the ways and to all the instances that could be relevant!
I am at another part of the planet, so i am not sure how it goes where you are - but if its an established business with website and everything - report to owners, report to other readers, tell to everyone you know, spread the word and make sure that this person goes out of business!!!
Pao, please, ask for money return too.
I am sure that you didn't believe a word this obnoxious individual said - not even for a moment.

well honestly a part of me kind of is saying "what if she's right?" what if my spiritual work is not working? But the other half of me thinks well I dont have Daddy issues and when I do reiki on mysel fit seems to work so....I am already insecure about never finding a mate but she made me feel like I am late to my own life. But it did sound like cold reading now that i think about it. We all have different ways of viewing one card but her statements made little sense to me. i dont know...
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Well Pao, I don't think she is right. What she told you didn't come from the cards, it came from her. So there is no reason to believe it.

The problem is that there really is no one to teach readers how to become a professional reader. There is no standard. But a good reader does not judge. I have read for people having affairs outside their marriage, I never judge. Who am I to know another's path? It is not for me to say. I only say what I see in the cards, never what I think because when I read that part of my brain isn't working. I don't know how to explain it better than that.

Please do report this woman and ask about getting your money back. What you received was not a proper tarot reading.

I have never made a client cry! I would feel so bad! How dare she do that to you!

Pao, I am 33 and not married. I didn't meet my man until I was 29, so don't worry. There is no standard for your life. Your path is yours and no one else's. You are where you are supposed to be and doing what you are supposed to be doing. We all are. I might never get married, surely won't have any kids and that's ok. It's my path. I don't have to defend my path to anyone. It's my life and I am free to do with it what I want, as are you, as we all are.

I am sorry you had such a bad experience. Please don't give credit to anything she told you. She wasn't a good reader, she doesn't know what she's doing, obviously, so don't sweat it. There is nothing you need to "get over." You will move on when it is time for you to move on and not a second sooner. There may be a lesson in whatever you had her read on, and that is why you are having such a hard time with it. Hang in there my friend.
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That is bad behaviour from any reader, professional or not. Of course it's worse coming from a professional. When you pay, who wants to pay to be judged?

It is not our place to do that. Also the test of a good reading is how helpful it is to the reader. This one sure was not. We are not supposed to be in it to help ourselves, but to help the querent. This woman just seems to want to make the whole world think like her.

Babs
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sinduction
Well Pao, I don't think she is right. What she told you didn't come from the cards, it came from her. So there is no reason to believe it.
Yea I mean honestly from the minute she started passing judgment before reading I knew I would be in for a sucky experience. It was the last thing I needed I had just gotten into a huge fight with my best friend, i was worried about money and I needed some insight not "oh dear pleeeeease get over that!"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sinduction
The problem is that there really is no one to teach readers how to become a professional reader. There is no standard. But a good reader does not judge. I have read for people having affairs outside their marriage, I never judge. Who am I to know another's path? It is not for me to say. I only say what I see in the cards, never what I think because when I read that part of my brain isn't working. I don't know how to explain it better than that.
You are right Sin i guess you learn by just reading, hit and miss, what to say what not to say. I've also read on affairs and never made any additional comments than what was on the cards. can you imagine? "oh honey pleeease get your own man. you are a trollop! (sp?)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sinduction
I have never made a client cry! I would feel so bad! How dare she do that to you!
yea i felt pretty crappy. now i kind of am laughing thanks to you guys but boy she made me feel terrible.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Sinduction
Pao, I am 33 and not married. I didn't meet my man until I was 29, so don't worry. There is no standard for your life. Your path is yours and no one else's. You are where you are supposed to be and doing what you are supposed to be doing. We all are. I might never get married, surely won't have any kids and that's ok. It's my path. I don't have to defend my path to anyone. It's my life and I am free to do with it what I want, as are you, as we all are.

I am sorry you had such a bad experience. Please don't give credit to anything she told you. She wasn't a good reader, she doesn't know what she's doing, obviously, so don't sweat it. There is nothing you need to "get over." You will move on when it is time for you to move on and not a second sooner. There may be a lesson in whatever you had her read on, and that is why you are having such a hard time with it. Hang in there my friend.
the funny thing is there is nothing to move on from. I mean I am trying to find myself and my happiness. if she wanted me to stop wondering or thinking about my past relationship well that wont happen for a while because i cared very much for that guy. He moved so I am not sitting here waiting for him, hello? My spiritual work I am kind of insecure about as it is but if i stop how will i get better. fine it didnt work according to her, so then Ill do it again, hell Ill bathe in garlic i dont know maybe the point of her stupid reading was to work on my relationship with my dad.


I feel better guys. thank you. i was really depressed and down on myself and she added to it and made it worse. but your words made me feel better. thank you. at least I learned what not to do with my own clients.
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