My ex. Letting go. (ex spread by unseen)

So, I was recently in a relationship that lasted only 10 days. It was a very pleasant encounter and ending it before it really began has left me with a lot of questions. I found unseens's spread at this thread http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?t=63937 and decided to give it a try. This time I used my Legend: Arthurian Tarot.

Past. What brought us together: 12. The Hangman, reversed.

I wanted relief from the stress of being a grad student about to get her degree and run out of my stipend. And that is why I chose to seek this person who seems so childlike and free. I wanted to play, to relive something from my past. Perhaps I also wanted to get back in touch with the friends we had in common.

Foundation: What kept us together: 11. Justice

Ok, so it lasted only 10 days and we weren't exactly kept together...
But we found peace and equilibrium in each other. He is more popular and friendly than I am; I'm more educated and, perhaps, sophisticated. But we saw each other as equal. We were both willing to compromise and learn. He seemed like a wholesome man that I could trust.

Why I stayed with him: 8 of Swords, reversed.

I was dominated by him and yet I felt so free...
I was trying to prove him that I'm loyal and faithful, perhaps too desperately.

Why he stayed with me: 4 of Spears

Romance. Social acceptance. His friends were congratulating him on having "caught" me. We got lots of comments about how they were happy that he finally found someone.
Oh. Or was he hoping that, after proving himself as a worthy paladin, I would change from Maledisant to Beauvivante?

(We didn't exactly stay together, and those two cards seem to point out it was something pleasant but not meant to last.)

Did he really love me? Queen of Spears, reversed

No.
He saw me as a strong, charming, independent, smart and virtuous woman (like Dindrane). He liked that. But he was focused on keeping me, owning me, setting traps for me, making me fall.

Why I wanted to be with him/ what attracted me to him: 15. The Horned One

Heehee. Duh, he was sexy. He made me feel pretty and feminine and attractive instead of just smart and virtuous and strong.
We were both controlling and possessive. But I actually enjoyed his possessiveness. It made me feel owned, cared for. I felt like I belonged there, with him... or to him?

Was he using me? 14. Temperance, reversed

Not really, but he does not know what he wants.
I guess he was hoping I could inspire him, but was disappointed when my presence didn't magically solve his other issues. Also, he wanted me to see him as my only source of wisdom or guidance.


Despite his flaws, was he good for me? 5 of Swords, reversed.

Easy answer: No. Had I stayed, he would have become more and more destructive. I could have lost my head.
Deeper answer: Perhaps, he came to my life to warn me not to make the same mistakes. I have become very careful of not hurting others, of not letting my pride and my sense of fairness blind me. I need to be more forgiving. I will go through guilt and shame but there is a possibility of redemption.

Why we split up: 4 of Swords, reversed

We were a threath to each other's health and sanity.
Also, he was hoping I would heal him and make him forget about a previous love or a previous wound. But he's still bound to it.
Even if I could be a healer, he has to heal himself.

Bonus: Is reconciliation possible? 9 of Shields.

I need the freedom to be myself. And when free, I can be very willing to please my lover.

So... maybe, given that the 5 of swords is about Gawain's fall and the 9 of shields is about Ragnell, his reward/redeption.





(Too many reversed cards in this reading. Should I re-read ignoring them?)

Per forum "rules", I think you should give feedback on your previous post before asking for help on a new spread.

Moderator note

Hi GloriJ,

Starrystarrynight is right (thanks Starrystarrynight ).
Since this forum is a learning forum and people help out here to learn you need to give thorough feedback to those who have responded to your other threads before asking for more help.

You have 2 threads with detailed replies that need your feedback:
http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?t=165186
http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?t=166721

Please return to those threads with some feedback. There is a thread at the top of Your Readings which details the type of feedback expected in Your Readings. You can find it by clicking this link HERE (click).
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Thanks.

Sulis - Your Readings co-moderator

Edited to add: Could other posters please wait to respond to this thread until feedback has been given in the threads I linked to?
One response has been removed and will be returned to this thread when GloriJ has posted her feedback.

Just a note, you should never disregard a reading because of too many reversals. I dont personally use them, but if I did, I wouldnt disregard too many of them showing up in a spread. I would think about why they are there to begin with.

For your reading, I feel like so many reversals showed up because your relationships was, well, reversed. It was full of blocked energies and potential, you had no room to grow, even from the beginning. It gives off bad mojo, there was attraction but that's as far as it went. Reversals scare me, to be honest. I feel like sometimes, just seeing too many reversals in one reading proves that there is negative energy in terms of the question asked.

You would have become his "prisoner", as the horned one suggests. The 8 of swords, why you stayed with him, points to just this. You were being dominated by him, or would have been ultimately dominated. It would have just gotten worse, which can be seen in the 5 of Swords reversed. The 5 of swords reversed is about even more blocked energy, to me it says that you'd be willingly sacrificing your own happiness to for him. He will put his happiness about yours, TemperanceX shows this. The relationships would not have been balanced, he wasn't using you, per say, but it would have gotten to the point where he felt like it might have been a free ride, you giving 95% while he only gave 5%.

Make sense?

Feedback has been posted so responses are welcomed in this thread. The hidden post has also been returned to view.

Sulis - Your Readings co-moderator

hanners12 said:

Just a note, you should never disregard a reading because of too many reversals. I dont personally use them, but if I did, I wouldnt disregard too many of them showing up in a spread. I would think about why they are there to begin with.

For your reading, I feel like so many reversals showed up because your relationships was, well, reversed. It was full of blocked energies and potential, you had no room to grow, even from the beginning. It gives off bad mojo, there was attraction but that's as far as it went. Reversals scare me, to be honest. I feel like sometimes, just seeing too many reversals in one reading proves that there is negative energy in terms of the question asked.

You would have become his "prisoner", as the horned one suggests. The 8 of swords, why you stayed with him, points to just this. You were being dominated by him, or would have been ultimately dominated. It would have just gotten worse, which can be seen in the 5 of Swords reversed. The 5 of swords reversed is about even more blocked energy, to me it says that you'd be willingly sacrificing your own happiness to for him. He will put his happiness about yours, TemperanceX shows this. The relationships would not have been balanced, he wasn't using you, per say, but it would have gotten to the point where he felt like it might have been a free ride, you giving 95% while he only gave 5%.

Make sense?

Click to expand...

Thanks. Yes, the reversals made it difficult to read, but I think it still makes more sense with them than without them. And you're quite right about this being about blocked energies. The relationship felt like I was being tested and judged unfairly, and too soon, before I even had the chance to show myself fully. He did warn me about his possessiveness, but I was blind to how destructive it could have been. He expected me to serve him without the responsibility of caring for me. So you're right about this being too easy for him and not fair for me.