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Domestic abuse cards


I am wondering what cards or pairs you might see that would lead to to an insight that domestic abuse was occurring in a relationship. Not necessarily physical, but also verbal, emotional....
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Simone95 View Post
I am wondering what cards or pairs you might see that would lead to to an insight that domestic abuse was occurring in a relationship. Not necessarily physical, but also verbal, emotional....
Hi mabe kind cups reversed emotional abuse manipulation. Moon emotions all over the place, deceptiveness. Ah the emperiour reversed, man very domanering,powerfull, control freek mabe. I am not really sure but great question. I will need to have good think on this one
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I think quite a few, and they'd be dependent on the cards surrounding.

Swords: 8 especially (being bound by mentality, but not decidedly trapped), 5 of swords, the court cards
Pentacles: 4 of pents, sometimes even 10 of pents (reversed or ill dignified), 5 of pents can indicate isolation
Wands: 10 of wands
Cups: 8 of cups can indicate wanting to leave, but feeling unable.

All of the court cards can indicate this, and which part of the court and its respective suit would suggest the type of abuse. There are some majors as well, but again I think it's just as important to look at the story being told by all the cards together.
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The Devil springs to mind - it speaks to me of prisons we put ourselves in, of addiction, of entrapment. The idea that a person would be trapped in an emotional relationship, kept there only by their inability to find the will to escape, is a strong image.

Obviously it would need to be combined with something else to suggest this further. I liked what someone further up said about the King of Cups reversed, as emotional abuse.
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These cards could be read as possibilities, but wouldn't declare there is abusive behavior happening simply because they were in a spread.

5 Swords... dishonorable, rash, unreasonable actions... sort of goes along with the bullying aspect, but all in all, this card could show violence, mental abuse as well as the remorse later.

5 pentacles and 5 Swords both seem to have a victim mentality to them, with an Emperor RX, you might have the perfect combination for some sort of abusive relationship. Toss in the 6 pentacles and it answers why they stay in it... the Devil you know is better than the Devil you don't. For one reason or another, they are getting something they think they need in the relationship, even if it isn't want they want.

7 Swords...symptomatic of abusive relationships, walking on eggshells, trying to avoid confrontations, hiding things or what ever to prevent triggering an outburst.

10 Swords... domestic violence, physical, emotional and mental abuse... to me 10's are cycles and domestic abuse does happen in cycles.

Devil... staying in a bad situation for one reason or another, compulsive behavior and also the habitual nature of abuse

Hanged Man... accepting the blame/punishment for not doing something right or just being wrong... doesn't matter. Also mental attitude... stuck with the situation and can't change it.
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I've seen 5 of swords come up as emotional abuse and mental illness in some instances.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Simone95 View Post
I am wondering what cards or pairs you might see that would lead to to an insight that domestic abuse was occurring in a relationship. Not necessarily physical, but also verbal, emotional....
I am currently training in domestic abuse!

Domestic Violence partners can be divided roughly into categories.

The Bully
Sexual Controller
King of the Castle - (one who gets you to do all domestic chores)
Liar
The Persuader
Badfather
Headworker
Jailer

These are men or women (heterosexual/homosexual) who use various tactics to lower the self esteem of their partner in order to prepare them for domestic abuse. Abusive relationships don't just happen, they develop over time and are very shame based for the victim so tread carefully.

As you point out, domestic abuse is not just physical.

The Devil in combination with other cards, is for me a sure sign that things aren't right. Two people are in chains.

Other cards to look out for would be cards of control. There are an awful lot of mind games in domestic abuse. It isn't all physical. Hiding keys, items of clothing and generally making your partner feel mad in order to undermine their reputation and self esteem. So lots of swords.

The Emperor/Hierophant for control and rules (which keep changing). The Devil. The Moon. Magician. are some that spring to mind at the moment.

More info for anyone interested:
http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic...es_effects.htm
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Thanks for the useful info, caridwen. And I definitely agree with you and other posters about the Devil pointing to potential abuse - it was the first card that popped into my mind.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lokasenna View Post
Thanks for the useful info, caridwen. And I definitely agree with you and other posters about the Devil pointing to potential abuse - it was the first card that popped into my mind.
No probs

I was a little concerned about triggering people with the information as people involved in these situations are so vulnerable. There is information in the link I provided on how to find a refuge in any country and advice lines.

International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies:
http://www.hotpeachpages.net/
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caridwen is so right, you have to be very careful reading about abuse, and your post there caridwen was very informative. thank you.

however, some cards that come together that I can see as pointing to abuse at times, (given the situation/the reading/the readee, etc) would be:

empress/8swords or empress/devil
I know a lot of people will be surprised by the 'empress' card, but the empress card can at times look like the perfect nurturing mother, but behind the scenes she can be quite a control freak too. a bit smothering and sometimes smothering can develop into a form of abuse....

King Swords with again the 8 of swords

queen of wands is also a card that I could see as indicating a person who is abusive. however, i see this queen as more of a manipulator and not actual physical abuse--more of a person who will play behind the scenes and plant seeds of destruction to lure her prey into.

I'm sure there are other combinations of cards that could read some sort of domestic abuse, given the right setting, but these were what came to mind immediately for me.
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