"Do not tell" cards

[SunChariot]

Originally Posted by JadoreHauteCouture

wow, I am very pleased and surprised this thread is having so much feedback. Im grateful for both positive and negative replies Thank you

I think i have to clarify more what i meant by these cards.
First of all, combination of cards is also an option. Im not limiting it to only one card since it was said before that this particular could pretty much become useless in readings.

Secondly, yes. I mentioned this lady who just stops the entire reading, but i consider the option when you do not answer certain question and then go on with the reading. I also agree that stopping the reading is quite radical solution.

Thirdly, I think i could illustrate the situation better. I know about 20 tarot readers in my area and at least 5 of them have these cards or card combos that I know of. Although there are some people who are coming to you with good intentions. There are some that just wanna try this "voodoo". In my country (im not from Czech Republic originally), some people are.... lets say it nicely... vengeful... If you tell them someone did something to them (even though it was querents fault), they are still willing to either go to that person anyway, cause the biggest scene ever and burn the bridges, or curse the other person (I mean with spell, like witchcraft, which is serious). This sounds bad but there are some psychos like that here and u never know who comes to you for a reading.
Some questions are also invading others peoples privacy or are revealing things querent should find out from different source.. maybe like being cheated by partner and so on, depends on spread.
Some people are cool when u give them good advice, they will listen to it. But then you have these people that you can tell them very good spread but they will turn it around 180 degrees cuz its not what they wanted to listen. And then it can make them go into depression or non-doing cuz things are not going their way (even though they had good cards) or getting lazy when they will think spread is too good...
Here, at AT we are working on ourselves and we take the both positive and negative message. but in real life, you dont always have querents like this. some people may come to you just to find out about others people privacy and then use it against them. or they do not seek any help or any advice at all...
Also when you get person with depression, mentally unstable or even mentally ill, you can tell them stuff but you never know how they will interpret it.
Lastly, im also thinking about this in association with your karma. I knew this lady... She got into numerology by accident and basically within year or two she got obssessed with it doing thousands and thousands names and date of birth numerologies being very progressive. She started to find out what numbers and their combinations are causing what sicknesses, life paths and so on. She got so good and precise. She was a teacher so she had an access to many student names and dates of birth so she could practise endlessly and basically see the answer immediately. However, then she started approaching people and their parents about numerology and changing the name cuz it might improve their bad fate. Some people did, some people didnt. However, since then strange things and misfortunes started to happen. She got ran over the car, She got attacked and so on. When things got crazy and she ended in hospital, she stopped "helping" people but only gave advice when someone asked her explaining that she realized she was overstepping the line even though she had only good intentions. Everybody has their karma and even though it might be horrible, the help from outside could only worse things since person is not willing to listen. that person has to decide itself when they wanna do something about themselves.. In case of tarot, you get querents but they just wanna check tarot readings out and might not be looking for any spiritual growth or advice.. they simply wanna know the future... So its kinda complicated what to say. Especially if they are not spiritually oriented, they could get confused and misinterpret the message.

2Morwenna - no, im not talking about the difficult cards.. Reading has to be objective... Leaving cards with negative message to make reading positive is not any helpful in case they have serious advice for someone who is seeking help.

Well here is my opinion on some of that. As a reader, you always have the right to choose who you will read for and what questions you will answer. If yoiu sense somethign is wrong you don't have to go forward with the reading.

For me, if I think the question the querent asks is invading somenone's privacy, then I won't read on that question. I will tell them why and my values on that. but I won't do it.

I also do not read for skeptics or people who are not ready to be open-minded or belief Tarot could work.

In my experience as a reader and even as a professional reader, I have turned down a number of questions. I nelp people rephrase if I can. But here have been some I haven't been willing to read on.

I use my cards to contact positive energies. Someone asked me once to use the cards to investigate some kind of dark energy around her that she thought was some kind of negative spirit of some sort. I would not touch that one with a 10 foot pole, alhough other readings might.

And as much as I hate to admit to this part, I have once of twice turned down a qurent or two who came ot me as well for readings if they seemed at bot too off to me or a bit too mentally disturbed and not completley in touch with reality.

And I certainly woudl not read for someone if I sensed their motives were not pure and they wanted the info to hurt somoene else or to take revenge or anything like that,. i would not do a reading like that.

Karma is somethign else altogether. It will play out and what is meant to happen will. At least in my world view. I don't believe in purposely getting invovled in that. If we are meant to be part of soeone's karma then it will happen, whether we try to or not. We don't have to try, what is meant to happen will. It is not my job to play G-d or to decide how justtice should be dispensed, G-d is perfectly capable of doing his job without my help.

As for stopping the entire reading..., If I get qa card telling the querent that they are not meant to know the answer to the queestion they asked, I stop cold ont hat quesiton, but they are free to ask me other questions instead.

If someone just wants to know their future, without having any desire for spiritual growth, that is fine too. If they want to know and to prepare for it, they have the right to know. I use Tarot for msyelf mostly for spiritual things but it would feel judgmental to me to expect everyone to be in the same path that I am and think they are less worthy of help if they seek it out because they chose a different path from me.

As for if someone might get confused or misinterpret something you tell them as a reader, the best we can to is to make a sincere effort to be clear and explain ourselves clleary. But after than it is out of our hands. Will people sometimes misinterpret what you say? Sure I can guarantee you that will happen, just as people someitmes misunderstand us when we talk to them in person. Also there can be other reasons, like someone is in denial and does nto want to accept what you said in the way you meant it.

We can't contriol how others understand what we say. We cna only try to be clear, tell them to ask if they have any questions and then give them the info and hope for the best.

Babs

[Carla]

Originally Posted by JadoreHauteCouture

well, since this search engine is not the best i just went ahead.
What are your do not tell cards?
You know everytime you read, you can pretty much tell whether other person believes you or not. You also see whether they will listen to your advice, whether they lost touch with reality, whether they have... lets say darker sides... you know.
you see the problems and how to solve them but sometimes its not good to tell, cuz they wouldnt listen, they are not ready, it would mess up their lives, they would think youre crazy, it would hurt someone else and so on... I know many readers who have do not tell cards. When they get them in readings, they are like.... hmm, blah blah commenting it without saying anything (any advice) cuz they are not supposed to, or they are just quiet and ask you "what do you wanna know" leaving you speechless cuz its the thin ice...
For instance, I know this lady and she uses 1 deck for 1 reading session (not putting cards back) and when she gets X - Wheel, she immediately stops reading, even though it could be pulled as a first card.
What about you?

No, I've never seen a card that make think I should just stop with the reading. However, I have got the feeling about querents that they're delicate or doubtful or whatever, and find myself being very careful with how I word things. That's about as far as it goes, though.

[daphne]

Originally Posted by JadoreHauteCouture

well, since this search engine is not the best i just went ahead.
What are your do not tell cards?
You know everytime you read, you can pretty much tell whether other person believes you or not. You also see whether they will listen to your advice, whether they lost touch with reality, whether they have... lets say darker sides... you know.
you see the problems and how to solve them but sometimes its not good to tell, cuz they wouldnt listen, they are not ready, it would mess up their lives, they would think youre crazy, it would hurt someone else and so on... I know many readers who have do not tell cards. When they get them in readings, they are like.... hmm, blah blah commenting it without saying anything (any advice) cuz they are not supposed to, or they are just quiet and ask you "what do you wanna know" leaving you speechless cuz its the thin ice...
For instance, I know this lady and she uses 1 deck for 1 reading session (not putting cards back) and when she gets X - Wheel, she immediately stops reading, even though it could be pulled as a first card.
What about you?

I don`t have such cards.
I did not know they even exist.
If it`s not to tell, it wont appear in a reading.
That is why it is call a reading, to read it.

[canid]

Originally Posted by Alta

I have read here that some readers leave in the blank card in the Robin Wood deck and use that as a 'Stop here" card.

Huh. I'd not heard that. But I use that card, & the All Believers card in Hanson-Roberts, more as a 'wild card'. An extra. A clarifier. Depends on your intuition at the time.

I think that would tend to freak a querant out, in a big way, if you suddenly stopped a reading, scooped the cards up...come on, many people still view the cards, & readers, in an old-fashioned light, & they would immediately think something horrible is about to happen. Just like most have said here, each card has its meaning in a reading. And even those traditionally 'bad' cards can be read in a good way, depending on the circumstance. So, why does this reader still include the Wheel in her deck???

[SunChariot]

Originally Posted by canid

Huh. I'd not heard that. But I use that card, & the All Believers card in Hanson-Roberts, more as a 'wild card'. An extra. A clarifier. Depends on your intuition at the time.

I think that would tend to freak a querant out, in a big way, if you suddenly stopped a reading, scooped the cards up...come on, many people still view the cards, & readers, in an old-fashioned light, & they would immediately think something horrible is about to happen. Just like most have said here, each card has its meaning in a reading. And even those traditionally 'bad' cards can be read in a good way, depending on the circumstance. So, why does this reader still include the Wheel in her deck???

Yeah, that would be the worst! I could imagine if I knew nothing about the cards and someone did that to me. I woukd think they say something too horrible to tell me. That would huant me for a while.

If I see that the querent is not meant to know I just tell them that the cards say they are not meant to have the asnwer to that particular question as there is a life lesson there that htey need to learn o their own. And jsut having the answer to that particular question handed to them on a silver platter would remove the chance of them learning it on their own. And that in the learning of it they would have learnt many other things as well. And it was intended that they have all those experiences that will lead up to that. If I were to tell them the asnwer now it would rob them of that chance. But that Iw would be happy to ask a differnt question for them.

Babs

[MaineGirl117]

Originally Posted by SunChariot

Yeah, that would be the worst! I could imagine if I knew nothing about the cards and someone did that to me. I woukd think they say something too horrible to tell me. That would huant me for a while.

If I see that the querent is not meant to know I just tell them that the cards say they are not meant to have the asnwer to that particular question as there is a life lesson there that htey need to learn o their own. And jsut having the answer to that particular question handed to them on a silver platter would remove the chance of them learning it on their own. And that in the learning of it they would have learnt many other things as well. And it was intended that they have all those experiences that will lead up to that. If I were to tell them the asnwer now it would rob them of that chance. But that Iw would be happy to ask a differnt question for them.

Babs

Well that puts something into perspective for me, in a big way!

I was in New Orleans last month, and paid for a 'fortune-teller' style reading.. only 15 min but I couldn't resist. She actually came highly recommended by a friend.

She said I would meet somebody soon (a man) and 'happily every after' la la la... but she WOULDN'T tell me anything about him except that I've met him (at least in passing) previously!

I...... was not so happy about this at the time. I did let it go though, and now that you say this, I'm thinking that was exactly what was going on... I have to learn and make choices all on my own.. if it's meant to be, it's meant to be!

[SunChariot]

Originally Posted by MaineGirl117

Well that puts something into perspective for me, in a big way!

I was in New Orleans last month, and paid for a 'fortune-teller' style reading.. only 15 min but I couldn't resist. She actually came highly recommended by a friend.

She said I would meet somebody soon (a man) and 'happily every after' la la la... but she WOULDN'T tell me anything about him except that I've met him (at least in passing) previously!

I...... was not so happy about this at the time. I did let it go though, and now that you say this, I'm thinking that was exactly what was going on... I have to learn and make choices all on my own.. if it's meant to be, it's meant to be!

I think the thing is that if you can't telll the person the answer right now, that you don't leave them hanging and you explain to them why and help them understand that nothing is wrong but it is just not in their best interst to know right now. I feel it is our job as readers to help people feel better. To just say you can't tell then and leave them hanging will make most people uncomfortable. So why not just TELL them why? That seems to me the responsible thing to do.

As for your particular case, here is another potential reason. IF this person is someone you know already. And if you knew what this future was and that it was with him. That might lead you to act differently and to treat him differntly even in slightly different ways. It might change your attitude towards him in some way. In fact how could it not?

And that coujld be enought to change your future. So let's say you were destinned to end up with this person and share that happily ever after, but if you knew that then it would change yoru future to the point where you woudl no longer end up together....then the cards will not tell you who he is (or even give you enought info so that you can guess). It is just not in your best interest to know. That is just one more example I can think of just off the top of my head.

Babs

[Ayces_Wylde]

I'm afraid if I don't tell what I've been told. I had this feeling imparted to me when my intuitive skill began to arise, that if I didn't find a way to deliver, albeit kindly, all of the information I see, that my skills would be revoked. True or false, I feel that. I feel it's my responsibility somehow, good or bad. Although if it were really bad, I would prepare the sitter well.