Subconciously Rejecting Stones?

Kosjitov · 11-06-2012

Hello again, fellow crystal lovers. I've got a bit of a conundrum.

I have this lovely piece of smokey quartz, which I purchased specifically for grounding. It caught my eye at the shop and I toyed with it for a bit before taking it home. I've had it since May. There are multiple reasons for me wanting the stone: the anger calming effect and the grounding effect as well.

The problem is that I seem to reject holding it. Every time I check, I've let go of the crystal and it's settled at the bottom of my pocket.

Does this mean that I am subconciously rejecting the stone, the grounding process as a whole, or did I possibly pick out a "wrong stone"? If so, what alternatives (stone preferred due to ability to hold it at work!) would you recommend for a serious, hardball grounding?

214red · 12-06-2012

You shouldn't need to hold it for it to work, being in your pocket should be okay, it's good if it's close to you do an inside pocket or a trouser pocket works better then an outside jacket pocket, but it's still okay.

How do you feel when using the stone?

Kosjitov · 12-06-2012

Same as usual. At one point I would say I was more angsty, not less. =\

**frac_ture** · 12-06-2012

Hi, Kosjitov -- it sounds like smoky quartz was a good choice for the effects you were after (ie., grounding, dealing with some negative emotional stuff...). If it doesn't seem to be helping, that could be due to a few different reasons...

When you first got it, did you do anything along the lines of cleansing it, "programming" it, bonding with it...? Some people swear by these things, and others deem them all a bunch of hooey, but what really matters when it comes to your crystals is how you view these things.

Cleansing...forgive me if you already know this, but here are some thoughts... I don't own any smoky quartz, so I haven't researched out whether it will be okay if you try to use water or direct sunlight to cleanse it -- those are popular methods, but it's always advisable to check first to see if they'll be harmful to a particular stone (some stones do not react well to water or to prolonged exposure to sunlight!). Other repeatedly suggested methods I've seen include leaving a stone in moonlight overnight, burying it in sea salt or rock salt overnight, "washing" it in the smoke of burning sage or sandalwood incense, placing it in the vibrations from a singing bowl, or passing it through the light of a lit candle. You can experiment, and also just pay attention to which of these might appeal to you the most.

Programming...I've read several times that when you first get a crystal, you can program it to work for you in certain ways. Methods vary, and others can weigh in, especially as I don't have much experience yet with this aspect of crystal work -- I'm new enough to them that I still prefer letting them show me what they're all about initially rather than me trying to tell them what to do. Then again, if you're looking for a certain function (such as, say, grounding) that's supposedly well within the scope of the stone you bought, you can probably have a small meditation kind of ceremony in which you sit with the stone in your hand, get into a relaxed/meditative state, then tell it mentally (or even aloud) that you wish for it to specifically help you with grounding. Again, this is not my own forte, so I don't want to say much more on this principle for fear of steering you wrong...but it's something you can look into and consider if you haven't done so already.

Bonding...again, for any one method I can cite here for bonding with a crystal, you'll most likely find that for every enthusiastic proponent who loves that method, there'll be an offsetting detractor who thinks it's lame and useless. Once more, it comes down to what works for you. Some people like to keep the stone on or near their person for an extended period, including sleeping with it in their pillowcase or under their pillow. Some meditate with the crystal (you can even try visualizing yourself inside of it, which is a neat-sounding exercise I just read about but haven't yet attempted myself). Basically, the notion here is that actively trying to bond with a given stone will enhance its ability to work with you, while not bonding might yield less effective results. That's the theory, anyway -- I'm sure the truth will vary wildly from person to person and stone to stone.

And of course, whether you've tried some or all of the above or not, it could just be that this particular stone you got is simply not a great match for you, or isn't a great match at this point in time (you might want to set it aside and try again later, is what I'm getting at, and not just give it away or chuck it). If that's the case, then sure, a different piece of smoky quartz or a different stone altogether might be a good next move. A few other stones thought to be good for grounding include hematite, black tourmaline, fluorite, carnelian, and black obsidian. And as I said on another thread somewhere, Boji Stones are supposed to be powerhouses for grounding, but I've never seen them for sale in person at any occult shops I've visited, so you might need to look for those online. Similarly, gemstones shaped into cubes are supposed to have extra grounding properties, but again, I don't think I've ever come across any cubes when out shopping in person -- wands, eggs, spheres, pyramids, and obelisks, yes, but no cubes -- so you might need to look into ordering something. People really seem to praise black tourmaline for its effectiveness in grounding, protection, and coping with negative emotions, so that might be a good one to consider, as it's pretty easy to find, should come in pieces small enough that you can carry them around, and shouldn't break your budget (I just got myself a piece, as a matter of fact, but it'll be a while before I get to it later in my queue...).

Good luck!

**DownwardSpiral** · 12-06-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kosjitov

Hello again, fellow crystal lovers. I've got a bit of a conundrum.

I have this lovely piece of smokey quartz, which I purchased specifically for grounding. It caught my eye at the shop and I toyed with it for a bit before taking it home. I've had it since May. There are multiple reasons for me wanting the stone: the anger calming effect and the grounding effect as well.

The problem is that I seem to reject holding it. Every time I check, I've let go of the crystal and it's settled at the bottom of my pocket.

Does this mean that I am subconciously rejecting the stone, the grounding process as a whole, or did I possibly pick out a "wrong stone"? If so, what alternatives (stone preferred due to ability to hold it at work!) would you recommend for a serious, hardball grounding?

Sometimes we are so relaxed that unconsciously we release our grip on things and let go.
I've been carrying my stones loose in my pocket...and if I don't have a pocket I'll tuck them in my sock near my ankle. And my body still picks up the vibrations/properties of the stone.

Kosjitov · 12-06-2012

@frac ture,

Actually, whenever I got any of my stones I did make a point to handle them frequently. I carried each piece of my small collection with me for several days- at work, and as well on my camping trip- and slept with the bag under and near my pillow. As silly as it sounds, I did try to "introduce myself", I also dunked the quartz in water as I was hoping to make holy water/grounding water to toss about for a banishing ritual. I did also put it down and "try again another day", since I figured it could have just been me with a bad attitude at the start.

I'll attempt another programming and bonding session and see if it improves.

***

@DownwardSpiral,

Where I work, there really isn't a *time* where I'd be relaxed. There's always someone who needs help and is angrily fussing at me to fix it! I'm merely making a comparison to... oh, let's say my amethyst and iolite. For a whole week I was holding them no problem, never let go. Switch in the quartz and it's *never* in my fingers.

**Lotus Padma** · 12-06-2012

Kosjitov, I think that is the nature of Smokey - it is quite an independent little stone lol! I work with it a lot, I wear it a lot - and it is the one stone I have that I forget about, if I put a ring on with smokey or my pendant, I forget I have it on - unlike other stones where I am constantly holding them and aware of them, this little stone just goes about it's business - sometimes it takes me a whole month to remember I am wearing a piece of it

This doesn't mean it isn't working - far from it! It means it has integrated into you, it is part of you, it is so natural for it to be there, you don't even realise it is there. It is a cleansing stone, so it is like - say, for example, your kidney - it's there, but you never think about all the filtering it does! lol!

Smokeys do not require a whole lot of cleansing, and it is a fairly hard stone - you can program it or cleanse it in the shower, and that suffices. Just place it on the floor of the shower and think about what you want it to do while you suds yourself, then dry it off after and pop it back in your pocket.

The fact that you temporarily felt worse when using it, means it is working. With alternative medicine, you know you have taken the right thing for what is ailing you if what you are trying to fix with it gets a little sharper. Like WildChilde and DownwardS when they worked with the Carnelian - it relates to the solar plexus, and it made both of them feel a little sick in the stomach for the first day, because it was doing its job and working through the issue to heal it

So I think that means you absolutely have the right stone, and that you need it!

**danieljuk** · 13-06-2012

this thread really interests me. I am just getting into crystals and stones and brought some random ones online which all were to do with stress and anxiety and that appealed to me. Researched their properties and then randomly brought the one's that appealed to me.

From the random one's I picked, I don't seem to gel with rose quartz at all! I cleansed them all when I got them. Bad things always seem to happen if I have it in my pocket, I don't feel it offers any protection or good vibes but the info about it seems to fit me exactly! I have held the stone and it doesn't feel bad or like "against" me. It's exactly the same as Kosjitov's cloudy quartz. Perhaps I will try bonding with it more!

**DownwardSpiral** · 13-06-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by danieljuk

this thread really interests me. I am just getting into crystals and stones and brought some random ones online which all were to do with stress and anxiety and that appealed to me. Researched their properties and then randomly brought the one's that appealed to me.

From the random one's I picked, I don't seem to gel with rose quartz at all! I cleansed them all when I got them. Bad things always seem to happen if I have it in my pocket, I don't feel it offers any protection or good vibes but the info about it seems to fit me exactly! I have held the stone and it doesn't feel bad or like "against" me. It's exactly the same as Kosjitov's cloudy quartz. Perhaps I will try bonding with it more!

Maybe you could open a study thread on rose quartz. : )

**DownwardSpiral** · 13-06-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kosjitov

@DownwardSpiral,

Where I work, there really isn't a *time* where I'd be relaxed. There's always someone who needs help and is angrily fussing at me to fix it! I'm merely making a comparison to... oh, let's say my amethyst and iolite. For a whole week I was holding them no problem, never let go. Switch in the quartz and it's *never* in my fingers.

Ok thanks for sharing this. I was picturing you relaxing holding it in your hand so this is a good observation.

Kosjitov Citizen Join Date: 02 Jun 2011 Location: Halfway between the gutter and the stars Posts: 996	Subconciously Rejecting Stones? Hello again, fellow crystal lovers. I've got a bit of a conundrum. I have this lovely piece of smokey quartz, which I purchased specifically for grounding. It caught my eye at the shop and I toyed with it for a bit before taking it home. I've had it since May. There are multiple reasons for me wanting the stone: the anger calming effect and the grounding effect as well. The problem is that I seem to reject holding it. Every time I check, I've let go of the crystal and it's settled at the bottom of my pocket. Does this mean that I am subconciously rejecting the stone, the grounding process as a whole, or did I possibly pick out a "wrong stone"? If so, what alternatives (stone preferred due to ability to hold it at work!) would you recommend for a serious, hardball grounding? __________________ One Deck Wonder or bust! +++ Shapeshifter Deck til Beltane +++

11-06-2012	Ask a Professional Tarot Reader Top #1

214red Citizen Join Date: 05 Apr 2008 Location: London, uk Posts: 9,358	You shouldn't need to hold it for it to work, being in your pocket should be okay, it's good if it's close to you do an inside pocket or a trouser pocket works better then an outside jacket pocket, but it's still okay. How do you feel when using the stone? __________________ "I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. That is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant." Martin Luther King

12-06-2012	Ask a Professional Tarot Reader Top #2

Kosjitov Citizen Join Date: 02 Jun 2011 Location: Halfway between the gutter and the stars Posts: 996	Same as usual. At one point I would say I was more angsty, not less. =\ __________________ One Deck Wonder or bust! +++ Shapeshifter Deck til Beltane +++

12-06-2012	Ask a Professional Tarot Reader Top #3

frac_ture Citizen $frac_ture's Avatar$ Join Date: 13 Oct 2011 Location: los angeles, california, usa Posts: 846	Hi, Kosjitov -- it sounds like smoky quartz was a good choice for the effects you were after (ie., grounding, dealing with some negative emotional stuff...). If it doesn't seem to be helping, that could be due to a few different reasons... When you first got it, did you do anything along the lines of cleansing it, "programming" it, bonding with it...? Some people swear by these things, and others deem them all a bunch of hooey, but what really matters when it comes to your crystals is how you view these things. Cleansing...forgive me if you already know this, but here are some thoughts... I don't own any smoky quartz, so I haven't researched out whether it will be okay if you try to use water or direct sunlight to cleanse it -- those are popular methods, but it's always advisable to check first to see if they'll be harmful to a particular stone (some stones do not react well to water or to prolonged exposure to sunlight!). Other repeatedly suggested methods I've seen include leaving a stone in moonlight overnight, burying it in sea salt or rock salt overnight, "washing" it in the smoke of burning sage or sandalwood incense, placing it in the vibrations from a singing bowl, or passing it through the light of a lit candle. You can experiment, and also just pay attention to which of these might appeal to you the most. Programming...I've read several times that when you first get a crystal, you can program it to work for you in certain ways. Methods vary, and others can weigh in, especially as I don't have much experience yet with this aspect of crystal work -- I'm new enough to them that I still prefer letting them show me what they're all about initially rather than me trying to tell them what to do. Then again, if you're looking for a certain function (such as, say, grounding) that's supposedly well within the scope of the stone you bought, you can probably have a small meditation kind of ceremony in which you sit with the stone in your hand, get into a relaxed/meditative state, then tell it mentally (or even aloud) that you wish for it to specifically help you with grounding. Again, this is not my own forte, so I don't want to say much more on this principle for fear of steering you wrong...but it's something you can look into and consider if you haven't done so already. Bonding...again, for any one method I can cite here for bonding with a crystal, you'll most likely find that for every enthusiastic proponent who loves that method, there'll be an offsetting detractor who thinks it's lame and useless. Once more, it comes down to what works for you. Some people like to keep the stone on or near their person for an extended period, including sleeping with it in their pillowcase or under their pillow. Some meditate with the crystal (you can even try visualizing yourself inside of it, which is a neat-sounding exercise I just read about but haven't yet attempted myself). Basically, the notion here is that actively trying to bond with a given stone will enhance its ability to work with you, while not bonding might yield less effective results. That's the theory, anyway -- I'm sure the truth will vary wildly from person to person and stone to stone. And of course, whether you've tried some or all of the above or not, it could just be that this particular stone you got is simply not a great match for you, or isn't a great match at this point in time (you might want to set it aside and try again later, is what I'm getting at, and not just give it away or chuck it). If that's the case, then sure, a different piece of smoky quartz or a different stone altogether might be a good next move. A few other stones thought to be good for grounding include hematite, black tourmaline, fluorite, carnelian, and black obsidian. And as I said on another thread somewhere, Boji Stones are supposed to be powerhouses for grounding, but I've never seen them for sale in person at any occult shops I've visited, so you might need to look for those online. Similarly, gemstones shaped into cubes are supposed to have extra grounding properties, but again, I don't think I've ever come across any cubes when out shopping in person -- wands, eggs, spheres, pyramids, and obelisks, yes, but no cubes -- so you might need to look into ordering something. People really seem to praise black tourmaline for its effectiveness in grounding, protection, and coping with negative emotions, so that might be a good one to consider, as it's pretty easy to find, should come in pieces small enough that you can carry them around, and shouldn't break your budget (I just got myself a piece, as a matter of fact, but it'll be a while before I get to it later in my queue...). Good luck!
$frac_ture is offline$
12-06-2012	Ask a Professional Tarot Reader Top #4

Kosjitov Citizen Join Date: 02 Jun 2011 Location: Halfway between the gutter and the stars Posts: 996	@frac ture, Actually, whenever I got any of my stones I did make a point to handle them frequently. I carried each piece of my small collection with me for several days- at work, and as well on my camping trip- and slept with the bag under and near my pillow. As silly as it sounds, I did try to "introduce myself", I also dunked the quartz in water as I was hoping to make holy water/grounding water to toss about for a banishing ritual. I did also put it down and "try again another day", since I figured it could have just been me with a bad attitude at the start. I'll attempt another programming and bonding session and see if it improves. *** @DownwardSpiral, Where I work, there really isn't a time where I'd be relaxed. There's always someone who needs help and is angrily fussing at me to fix it! I'm merely making a comparison to... oh, let's say my amethyst and iolite. For a whole week I was holding them no problem, never let go. Switch in the quartz and it's never in my fingers. __________________ One Deck Wonder or bust! +++ Shapeshifter Deck til Beltane +++

12-06-2012	Ask a Professional Tarot Reader Top #6

Lotus Padma Messages! Join Date: 23 Feb 2012 Location: Somewhere between two seas Posts: 4,495	Kosjitov, I think that is the nature of Smokey - it is quite an independent little stone lol! I work with it a lot, I wear it a lot - and it is the one stone I have that I forget about, if I put a ring on with smokey or my pendant, I forget I have it on - unlike other stones where I am constantly holding them and aware of them, this little stone just goes about it's business - sometimes it takes me a whole month to remember I am wearing a piece of it This doesn't mean it isn't working - far from it! It means it has integrated into you, it is part of you, it is so natural for it to be there, you don't even realise it is there. It is a cleansing stone, so it is like - say, for example, your kidney - it's there, but you never think about all the filtering it does! lol! Smokeys do not require a whole lot of cleansing, and it is a fairly hard stone - you can program it or cleanse it in the shower, and that suffices. Just place it on the floor of the shower and think about what you want it to do while you suds yourself, then dry it off after and pop it back in your pocket. The fact that you temporarily felt worse when using it, means it is working. With alternative medicine, you know you have taken the right thing for what is ailing you if what you are trying to fix with it gets a little sharper. Like WildChilde and DownwardS when they worked with the Carnelian - it relates to the solar plexus, and it made both of them feel a little sick in the stomach for the first day, because it was doing its job and working through the issue to heal it So I think that means you absolutely have the right stone, and that you need it! __________________ L' éssentiel est invisible pour les yeux. - Antoine de St-Exupéry, Le Petit Prince. I'm not needy. I'm wanty. "You are terrifying and strange and beautiful. Something not everyone knows how to love." - Warsan Shire

12-06-2012	Ask a Professional Tarot Reader Top #7

danieljuk Sun Worshipper Join Date: 23 Nov 2011 Location: London, United Kingdom Posts: 1,662	this thread really interests me. I am just getting into crystals and stones and brought some random ones online which all were to do with stress and anxiety and that appealed to me. Researched their properties and then randomly brought the one's that appealed to me. From the random one's I picked, I don't seem to gel with rose quartz at all! I cleansed them all when I got them. Bad things always seem to happen if I have it in my pocket, I don't feel it offers any protection or good vibes but the info about it seems to fit me exactly! I have held the stone and it doesn't feel bad or like "against" me. It's exactly the same as Kosjitov's cloudy quartz. Perhaps I will try bonding with it more!

13-06-2012	Ask a Professional Tarot Reader Top #8

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