Spread about sexual orientation

Ok, this may be a stretch but a concerned friend of mine has reached out to me because she is worried about her son. He is in his late twenties and she thinks he might be gay. He has been depressed, not knowing what to do with himself and in and out of relationships. He does have a good job but his obsession with his career seems to get the best of him since he neglects his personal life. She was wondering if the tarot could help figure out if he might be gay but too afraid to come out. She wants to clear any issues he might have.

I'm quite new to this and I'm not sure if someone's sexual orientation is a question that can be asked.

Does anyone know a spread that could be helpful in this situation?

Whether he is gay or not is his business and he may not even be sure of that himself at this time. When he feels he's ready for her to know, he'll tell her but until then, I think she should just focus on whether she can help him with his depression so if it were me, I'd advise her to just ask something like 'How can I help my son?' and just lay out 3 cards with either no positions or since you're a beginner and positional meanings are really helpful:
1. Situation
2. Advice for her
3. Probable outcome.


Or:
1. Her son
2. What she can do to help
3. What she shouldn't do
4. Probable outcome (or leave this one out).

I hope that helps.

Just to add: Even if he is gay and hasn't told her, that may not be why he's showing signs of depression so she should really be focusing on that and not on his sexual orientation. If she wants to know whether or not he's gay, maybe she should just ask him.
If she doesn't feel comfortable doing that then doing a reading about it, isn't really fair on him and I'd go so far as to say it's intrusive.

Edited to add: You're a new reader so even if it's possible to tell something like someone's sexual orientation and preferences from the cards, are you confident enough in your abilities as a reader to tell someone that their son is gay or straight?

Thank you for the feedback. I wasn't going to tell her the outcome because that's not my business but I got curious and wanted to see for myself what the cards had to say.

I guess she just wants to know what is going on with him. She seems quite adamant that he is gay because he only has male friends, he visits gay bars and he has left a couple of women at the altar before. He hasn't verbalized it yet but she wants to help him and let him know she is fine with him if he were to be gay.

Firstly, thank you, Sulis, for kind and wise words. As a queer person - even as one very secure in my identity and outness - I found this OP rather triggering.

TinaV said:

I'm quite new to this and I'm not sure if someone's sexual orientation is a question that can be asked.

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"Can" you ask the tarot about sexual orientation? Sure.

"Should" you?

Sulis was right when she said perhaps there's a more constructive way to help your client frame her concern for her son, so that the tarot can best help her and not simply feed her morbid desire for justification of her son's perceived failures. Even a Red-Yellow-Green spread would be helpful - Don't Do This, Watch Out For This, Go Ahead and Do This. That way you're helping your client learn from her situation and grow as a person, and take responsibility for her own behaviour. Asking whether her son is gay and if that's causing his depression externalises contributing factors from your client and is ultimately disempowering.

I am sorry to sound like a harpy, and I hope you'll forgive any loss of tone or inflection due to the medium of the forum. I identify with her son here, in the possibly-gay-is-that-what's-wrong-with-him-oh-we-can-just-blame-that sort of sense.

thorhammer said:

Sulis was right when she said perhaps there's a more constructive way to help your client frame her concern for her son, so that the tarot can best help her and not simply feed her morbid desire for justification of her son's perceived failures.

I am sorry to sound like a harpy, and I hope you'll forgive any loss of tone or inflection due to the medium of the forum. I identify with her son here, in the possibly-gay-is-that-what's-wrong-with-him-oh-we-can-just-blame-that sort of sense.

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She is an acquaintance of mine so I don't see her as a client. I never charge money for readings anyway.

Anyway, I don't think her question stems from her son being a failure in her eyes. She is just concerned about what is going on with him since bipolar/depression/anxiety issues are not the answer. She has had a few thoughts about his sexual orientation in the past especially when he was a teenager but she has never brought it up to him. I think she wants to be "sure" somehow before she brings it up to him.

You'll soon notice there are quite a bunch of gays and lesbians around here... and as one of them I think this question is in some way inappropriate.

Of course parents worry about their children... but when they do, a Tarot reading is not going to help. She should send out signals of her support instead. If he is unsure of himself then that's all he needs. And if he's insecure, it doesn't matter why. Gay or not, spirt and love are THE solution.

Nevertheless your question is a valid one. I've heard a lot of opinions around here... the page of cups as indicator because in the rws he looks so feminine. Queens turning up in in significant number (haha). The Fool. A lot of different options... it's very hard to tell and not without doubt I'd say.

Farzon said:

You'll soon notice there are quite a bunch of gays and lesbians around here... and as one of them I think this question is in some way inappropriate.

Of course parents worry about their children... but when they do, a Tarot reading is not going to help. She should send out signals of her support instead. If he is unsure of himself then that's all he needs. And if he's insecure, it doesn't matter why. Gay or not, spirt and love are THE solution.

Nevertheless your question is a valid one. I've heard a lot of opinions around here... the page of cups as indicator because in the rws he looks so feminine. Queens turning up in in significant number (haha). The Fool. A lot of different options... it's very hard to tell and not without doubt I'd say.

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Well yes, if he is unsure about his own sexual orientation, how is that tarot going to give clear answers? I also don't like asking questions about people that they may want to keep a secret (if he were to be gay). If it turns out he isn't, then the whole assumption becomes a foolish one. I guess the Fool could make sense either way in this situation. Honestly, the Fool is the only card I have heard about before in this context. Page of Cups and the Queens could make sense.

Anyway, I asked the cards and got some interesting results. Not sure where I can share those?

Try here. Or over in your readings.

I posted it in "your readings". Any feedback is welcome!