Trouble breaking into my spiritual self-how to become spiritual

I've been practicing tarot for a few months now yet I feel like a lack of spirituality is stopping me from having true connections. I grew up as a protestant christian, which is so in your face. I always tried believing but always had trouble. Now any time I see anything religious my initial reaction is eye roll followed by slight guilt of not being open minded. I want to connect more to my spiritual self outside of religion. I'm not opposed to religion and even hope to move in that direction one day but right now I want to focus on personal spirituality. Has anyone else had this problem? Where you were open to spirituality but something inside you continued to resist. What did you do to get past it? I would love any advice or recommendations to articles, books, paths. Thank you very much for your support!

I had to get to know myself before I could recognize or embrace spirit.
I wasn't looking to identify any true spirit as opposed to a religion built by men, it just happened.

I think doing a gratitude journal for three years helped.
Julia Cameron's workbooks helped me grow.
Blogging my card of the day doubtless helped, it always brings something out of the mud I need to deal with.

Along the way I studied various beliefs. I expect as you grow you will do the same, I see it here all the time. If we've held a mindset, the first thing we do is look for a new mindset. When I got over the requirement to fill one void with another, I began to come into my own space.

Don't push it, that would probably give you hives

welcome to AT, if I haven't already said it.

I agree wholeheartedly with AJ; get to know yourself first. Keeping a journal can help - take a look at your thoughts and emotions. Then look underneath them to what motivates them, triggers them and what you might want to change. It is impossible to make yourself believe something you don't believe. Anyone can be spiritual if they choose to live by spiritual principles like compassion, humility, honesty, etc. In my opinion it isn't how we practice or what we believe but how we live. I have practices (meditation and gratitude for example) and I do my best to live by ethical principles. I think your spirituality will flow out of these kind of things, and you'll discover a comfortable fit for yourself without trying to fit into someone else's ideas.

ditto w/AJ & Bodhiseed. and, been there done/doing that. Though I've never been very good at journaling, I do still try my best to live a very spiritual life. I'm a born and raised Catholic, who no longer practices the faith, save those things I enjoy. I have always loved the rosary and pray that daily. That is about the most "Catholic" I am anymore ever.

However, I also try to be a spiritual being by practicing compassion, humility, honesty, as mentioned by Bodhiseed as well as meditation.

I wrote down something that I read in a book ages ago, (sadly, I neglected to put what book I found this in) and I find it very helpful to look at through out the day and try to live by. These are 7 attitudes to adopt in daily life-

1. be non judging
2. have patience
3. adopt a beginners mind
4. trust
5. be non-striving
6. accepetance
7. letting go

Not as easy as they may sound, but I do believe these are 7 attitudes that are helpful to becoming a more spiritual person as well.

remember the 2nd one "have patience" means also having patience with yourself. You'll have good days and harder days--but just be patience and persevere.

eta, just to be sure you understand what it means to be non - striving...it means to be always present in what is happening right now, where you are and noticing and experiencing it without judging it.

Also, #3, Adopt a beginners mind. This means that even if you are considered or consider yourself all knowing in a particular area, realize that you are not and you can still learn from someone else more so. A.T. here is a great place for coming to understand this. We are ALL equals in the world (and there is no place like A.T. that reinforces this belief!) and even "pros" still have things to learn that they may learn from a beginner.

For me, in order to regain my natural connection to Spirit, I had to intentionally turn away from anything connected to organized religion for several years. I just ignored it all and didn't even celebrate Christmas, other than attending family get togethers--no decorations in my house even. It was like I had to detox from all the stuff that had been crammed into my brain.

After two or three years, one day I just woke up and realized that I was curious about Wicca. So I read a few books. It wasn't for me, but it started me on the path of just going where my curiosity led me. Now, 25 years later, I am a highly spiritual person, but very eclectic in my beliefs and in whom I work with and hang out with.

My best advice: Go out into nature and ask to be shown what you need to see. Start from there, with personal revelatory experience. That is true connection to your own unique spirituality.

Ditto taking up the journey of "Know Thyself"

I grew up with a loose Roman Catholic upbringing which never 'fit' me - so mostly I just "went through the motions" and neatly avoided any conversations about belief (whilst secretly disbelieving and wondering to myself).
When I left home for University - I walked into my very first esoteric bookshop and saw all these books on other things. Wow! How wonderful. And I discovered beautiful Tarot decks too!

I read all about these other spiritual paths...
And later attended seminars at some esoteric bookshops I discovered.
I spent a week at a Buddhist retreat in Scotland.
I attended The College of Pscychic Studies for three years, studying psychic awareness, meditation and Tarot.

Simultaneously - I took on a really big personal development course called The Landmark Forum.
I think I must have stayed doing various courses there for about 4 years.
All this education was priceless.
And I did it all in the face of derision from my partner who told me I was wasting my money navel gazing. Lol.

My spirituality emerged (much to his dismay - and today he still doesn't understand it.
It has been one of the biggest wedges that warped our relationship overtime to the point of where it is now. Just an understanding - with LOTs of couples counselling. Lol.).
Today - I am an eclectic Wiccan (British Traditional Wicca).


Here for your interest - are the Secret Seven commandments from 'The Landmark Forum'
(for being and extra-ordinary person. and - "being extra-ordinary, is realising that you are ordinary and being OK with that") :

1) Be "racket-free". Give up being right - even when you know you are!
2) Be powerful in your speaking - talk straight and take what you get.
3) Be courageous - Acknowledge your fear and then act.
4) Be peaceful - give up the idea that there's "something wrong". Allow things to just BE.
5) Be charismatic - give up trying to get somewhere, and be fulfilled in the present moment.
6) Be enrolling - share your possibilities in such a way that others are touched, moved and inspired.
7) Be unreasonable - in expectations of yourself and others beyond what you think you and they are capable of.


Be patient with yourself! - the journey of "Know Thyself" takes however long it takes.

I feel you need to "find the right guru", a teacher that speaks to you in a way that makes sense. I've been listening to Alan Watts, and his observations about the individual *being* the universe make perfect sense to me from a *scientific* point of view.

I think the advice about knowing yourself is good - Watts says 'who are you, who are you that is asking the question?' - and for me part of this is understanding your ontological and epistemological positions. What is the world? What can we know of it? How do we know it? - and having spent some time working on this, Watts' comment about us *being* the continuing Big Bang, we *are* it,not a *product* of it... like one of those fractal patterns, we are the complicated curly bits on the edges - these comments provided me with one of those penny-drop moments where you go 'ah yes. that's it.'

Robert Graves, 'The White Goddess' and Joseph Campbell, 'Way of Myth' are also worth reading.