Family Situation - Tree of Life Reading

We're in an impossible family situation right now just me and my kids with my kids violently fighting all the time and one fixing to leave for a year to go a residential facility for mental health help, there is chaos all the time, etc. My dream is for peace and harmony and unity. I did a reading asking about our family situation and used the tree of life spread. Here's what I got and how I interpreted them but I'm new to this and I was consulting books to help me out as well as how I felt.

Card #1 Your situation: 7 of wands
This says to me that there are major obstacles in our path but we keep going and can possibly beat them. It says I need to show my kids I love them somehow because they can't hear it right now. I need to redefine what is important in life and we have the energy to do what is needed.

Card #2 Responsibilities: 3 of wands
This card tells me I need to stay focused, to communicate, reminds me that there are divine influences at play (I'm Christian, in case that's important to this) and to believe in my dreams for peace and harmony and unity.

Card #3 Limitations and the past: 10 of pentacles reversed
There are communication problems between me and the kids, children and parents disagree on life and there is resentment and jealousy.

Card #4 What supports you: The Tower reversed
I am tearing myself down with low self esteem and that tears others down too. The tower's collapse is inevitable, sudden, and dramatic. But what can I do to prevent the tower's collapse? How can I build my supports? I don't know what it's saying about that.

Card #5 What opposes you: The Hanged Man
I'm frustrated with progress, frustrated with waiting for things to change. The situation will become worse if I keep struggling against it. Hang on tight, it's going to be a wild ride.

Card #6 Achievements: The Devil reversed
I feel imprisoned through relationship expectations, but the situation is not as drastic as it seems. That doesn't seem to show much achievement though.

Card #7 Attraction and relationships - 2 of pentacles
Decisions and choices in the midst of chaos, opportunities (maybe to fix this?).

Card #8 Work, health and communication: Temperance reversed
Past is dominating the present and the future. I'm pouring into relationships that aren't working (but I need to pour into the relationships with my kids). I need to live out my dreams and not the dreams of others.

Card #9 What is hidden: The Fool
I need to focus, take a leap of faith, and start over. But how?

Card #10 future environment, outcome: The Sun reversed.
My guess is that this means something new is going to happen, but that is not very helpful for this situation because it doesn't give me much to go on.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for reading.

Moderator note

Hi Katyanne,

Before anyone replies, please have a go at an interpretation of the Sun reversed. We ask that you try to interpret each card, even the ones you're having trouble with - it really is the best way to learn.

If you need some inspiration we have some really good card meanings here on Aeclectic. Click the link in the purple bar at the top of the page or here:

Tarot Card Meanings

Could everyone else please wait?

Sulis - moderator

Ok I edited it and put in my only thoughts I had for the sun card.

What deck did you use for your reading? My interpretations are based as much on the imagery on the cards than the archetype behind the cards, so knowing what deck you used helps.

rwcarter said:

What deck did you use for your reading? My interpretations are based as much on the imagery on the cards than the archetype behind the cards, so knowing what deck you used helps.

Click to expand...

Ok I was about to ask a friend if it matters what deck you used. I used Dream Raven for this spread.

katyanne said:

We're in an impossible family situation right now just me and my kids with my kids violently fighting all the time and one fixing to leave for a year to go a residential facility for mental health help, there is chaos all the time, etc. My dream is for peace and harmony and unity. I did a reading asking about our family situation and used the tree of life spread. Here's what I got and how I interpreted them but I'm new to this and I was consulting books to help me out as well as how I felt.

Click to expand...

Card #1 Your situation: 7 of wands
This says to me that there are major obstacles in our path but we keep going and can possibly beat them. It says I need to show my kids I love them somehow because they can't hear it right now. I need to redefine what is important in life and we have the energy to do what is needed.

I see this card more as a card shoeing aggressive behavior and fighting to get control over something you want badly. Going by all you have shared, perhaps you sometimes feel like you are battling against many issues at once and while you will continue to fight, you also would like hrlp. I don't own the deck you used &am a visual reader, so I am going by the rider Waite deck image.

Card #2 Responsibilities: 3 of wands
This card tells me I need to stay focused, to communicate, reminds me that there are divine influences at play (I'm Christian, in case that's important to this) and to believe in my dreams for peace and harmony and unity.

Click to expand...

So, here I would say the card is saying you are the responsible one here who needs to lead the others (your kids) to more peaceful place. I imagine they are looking to you to see how to handle the stress of the situation at hand. If you freak out, they will too. So, if you can stay focused & calm, they will follow suit as well.

Card #3 Limitations and the past: 10 of pentacles reversed
There are communication problems between me and the kids, children and parents disagree on life and there is resentment and jealousy.

Click to expand...

This card shows a definite upset and imbalance. You need to somehow find a way to show your kids that they are safe and secure while going through all of this chaos. This card being rx shows they and you, I think too, feel ungrounded and uncertain about the future, because of the troubles with the past & the chaos y'all are experiencing.

Card #4 What supports you: The Tower reversed
I am tearing myself down with low self esteem and that tears others down too. The tower's collapse is inevitable, sudden, and dramatic. But what can I do to prevent the tower's collapse? How can I build my supports? I don't know what it's saying about that.

Click to expand...

I see the tower rx as a card of extreme frustration & weariness as a result. It could be that right now you are too worn out & tired to see the way out of chaos. It may be the time to call in & see a counselor for some help. Sometimes just being able to sit down & talk to a person not connected to you, yours or the issue/chaos at hand is a way to really see the answer y'all need.

Card #5 What opposes you: The Hanged Man
I'm frustrated with progress, frustrated with waiting for things to change. The situation will become worse if I keep struggling against it. Hang on tight, it's going to be a wild ride.

Click to expand...

I would see this again as perhaps getting some fresh insights into the situation, & it may be pointing to seeking guidance from another. The hanged man shows that you have run out of ideas yourself & are trying to see other options that are available to you.

Card #6 Achievements: The Devil reversed
I feel imprisoned through relationship expectations, but the situation is not as drastic as it seems. That doesn't seem to show much achievement though.

Click to expand...

Here I think is a good card, positive card. You KNOW that things are in need of changing for the better. You are not blind to the upsets and chaos & you aren't closing your eyes to the situation. However, you may still feel stuck & in need of guidance to get pass this.

Card #7 Attraction and relationships - 2 of pentacles
Decisions and choices in the midst of chaos, opportunities (maybe to fix this?).[ /quote]

Again, I can see this as getting advice & guidance with how to get past all of this through another person. It can be a counselor or just a friend. But, if things are way chaotic, I would recommend again someone who isn't connected with the issue at hand. Sometimes it is better this way.

Card #8 Work, health and communication: Temperance reversed
Past is dominating the present and the future. I'm pouring into relationships that aren't working (but I need to pour into the relationships with my kids). I need to live out my dreams and not the dreams of others.

Click to expand...

I think this card shows that you just feel very out of it. Perhaps the situation is affecting each area of your life. Work, home, health, everything is being affected. You need help & you need balance.

Card #9 What is hidden: The Fool
I need to focus, take a leap of faith, and start over. But how?

Click to expand...

You need to start over, and yes, stay focused, and not repeat past mistakes. Perhaps if you had someone you could talk wit, to confide in. Perhaps this will help you to stay focused on the goal. [Quote ]

Card #10 future environment, outcome: The Sun reversed.
My guess is that this means something new is going to happen, but that is not very helpful for this situation because it doesn't give me much to go on.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.
d
Thanks for reading.

Click to expand...

things will improve, but it will take time & also patience on your part, as the parent. Don't expect to see anything improve quickly. But, with patience & diligence, it will improve.

Good luck to you.

Eta: excuse mistakes. I'm only on my small tablet &it's not as easy to type on.

Click to expand...

For some the deck matters and for some it doesn't. Having ~1400 decks, it makes a difference for me because the reason I'm using that particular deck must be because of the images. Otherwise, I'd only have one deck and be done with it.

I don't have Beth Seilonen's Dream Raven deck, but Google Image search can be your friend.

katyanne said:

Card #1 Your situation: 7 of wands

Click to expand...

Looking at the image, you have things coming at you from all directions. You've been wounded (the two wands piercing the bird's wings), but you continue to move forward.

katyanne said:

Card #2 Responsibilities: 3 of wands

Click to expand...

The first thing that jumps out at me is the two birds in the background. They seem to be footloose and fancy free while the bird in the foreground is earth-bound. It seems to be protective of the three wands on the ground, watching over them instead of flying off and having fun. Being a single Mom, that could easily translate to your kids being your responsibility.

katyanne said:

Card #3 Limitations and the past: 10 of pentacles reversed

Click to expand...

As you've said you're a single parent of four, can I assume that you were married at some point? If so, the card is pointing to the old family unit (husband, wife and children). When there was a "whole" family unit, there was enough to go around for everyone (the worm in the beak of one of the birds). Pentacles can be about money, but they can also be about food, sustenance (anything that sustains), the home and material comfort. As the card is reversed, the implication is that the loss of that family unit is what's limiting the current situation. When you're talking divorce with children involved, it's not unusual for one or more of the children to think they're responsible for the breakup, even though usually that's not the case.

katyanne said:

Card #4 What supports you: The Tower reversed

Click to expand...

I can't find an image of the Tower, so will base my interpretation on the RWS Tower. Upright, the card is about the destruction of false structures or structures built on shaky foundations. The Tower's appearance says that something needs to be torn down so that something new (and true) can be built in its place. Rx, the suggestion is that either the total destruction that needs to occur hasn't or that you're holding onto some part of that false structure. And coming on the heels of the 10P, is it possible that you're still holding onto some part of the whole family unit that was? If so, then what supports you in this case isn't something positive, but a false belief.

katyanne said:

Card #5 What opposes you: The Hanged Man

Click to expand...

Another image I can't find, so will use RWS instead. The Hanged Man can be about the need to see things from a different perspective. Building on the 10P and Tower Rx, is it possible that you're trying to keep things "business as usual" without realizing that the loss of an adult changes the family dynamics and requires new processes and procedures among those who are left in order to attain a new (stable, happy, etc.) family dynamic?

katyanne said:

Card #6 Achievements: The Devil reversed

Click to expand...

Upright the Devil can be about bondage to people or situations that are bad for you. So again assuming a divorce has occurred, your achievement would be releasing yourself from the bondage of a bad relationship. Despite whatever negative may have occurred after that, you need to remember that you were able to extricate yourself from that situation.

katyanne said:

Card #7 Attraction and relationships - 2 of pentacles

Click to expand...

Looking at the image, I have to assume the bird is flying up, not across because the pentacles would fall if it's flying across the card. The 2P is about achieving balance. If you notice, each pentacle is on a different place along the bird's wing. Achieving balance isn't a static, one time event - it requires constant movement and correction. As attraction and relationships, that suggests that you want/need someone who is flexible in that sometimes they might give more or put more into the relationship and sometimes you might as circumstances dictate.

katyanne said:

Card #8 Work, health and communication: Temperance reversed

Click to expand...

I'm not fond of positions like this as those are three separate things and therefore there's no clear indication which area the card is addressing. This card shows a division of resources (the liquid in the top cup) into two other cups. And as the cup on the right is higher up than the cup on the left, it will get more of those resources faster than the cup on the left does. Rx, you have those two sources feeding into a single source. Tying that back to the 2P, you do best when joining with another to combine your resources.

katyanne said:

Card #9 What is hidden: The Fool

Click to expand...

Interesting image. Seems like the bird has already fallen off the cliff instead of teeters on the edge of it. Do you secretly wish that you could just run away from it all, leap off that cliff and see where you land? Wanting to do that wouldn't make you a bad parent. Doing it would make you a bad parent. Acknowledging that desire within yourself and consciously choosing to stay will make you a better person and parent. (What I'm trying to get at is feeling like you HAVE to deal with the situation vs choosing to deal with it. Each involves a different mindset that affects how you approach the situation.)

katyanne said:

Card #10 future environment, outcome: The Sun reversed.

Click to expand...

The bird seems to be basking in the glow of the sunflower, rubbing itself against the sunflower. I don't see much negative in the reverse of this image, so I think as outcome it says that everything will work out in the end, although probably not in the way you currently think.

Rodney

Thank-you heaps CelticNoodle!

Your reading seems to be a little more hope-filled than mine. I'm still learning the cards and usually use oracle decks for big questions but I decided I wanted to do the whole tree of life thing to see if we couldn't get somewhere.

1. With card number 1, I am battling many issues at once. The kids aren't violent for the hell of it, they have disabilities which lead them to be so. They are in mental health programs with good counselors. I will continue to fight, but yes I would like help, so I can see that reading as accurate.

2. You could be right there. I do know I need to be calmer in the face of what they are doing. The book that came with the cards however talks about how their three of wands was designed the way it was to indicate the Trinity for divine intervention.

3. Yes I am going to be asking my cards how to make my children feel safe and secure. I'm also doing readings about their feelings and what their lives are needing.

4. There certainly is extreme frustration and weariness. But I want to beat it so bad and I'm hoping I can figure out how. I'm already seeing a counselor and the thing that is frustrating is I am in counseling and my kids are in special programs and have been in and out of hospitals and one will be going to a long term hospital for extra help and I feel like I'm doing all that I can and things are still bad.

5. Definitely trying to see what other options are available to me and counseling helps some with that. I feel that the hanged man also shows I am out of options, that was a good way to put it.

6. I'm glad you see this as a good card. I find that very interesting. You're right I'm certainly not closing my eyes to what is going on and I know there are issues that we need to work out.

7. I am getting help with this from a counselor, friends, and my priest.

8. Yes it is affecting every area of my life and this was a very insightful interpretation for me. I didn't read the card that way so that's interesting and makes so much sense.

9. I do have a few people I can confide in and get fresh ideas from.

10. Thanks I feel like things will take time too but I didn't see that in the reversed sun card so that's interesting and makes so much sense because stuff like this isn't fixed overnight.

Thank-you so much for your help.

Thanks heaps Rodney that really helped! Yes, there was a divorce but it was almost three years ago now, although the children were and are young. I was hoping that after three years we'd be able to have worked through it but just because I have doesn't mean the kids knew how to process it. They also have disabilities (autism is just one of them).

1. I do continue to move forward despite having things thrown at me from all different directions. I noticed that imagery too but I didn't see my woundedness in it.

2. I can see how that could relate into the kids being my responsibility. I have very little help from their dad and I have sole custody.

3. It's interesting that you think it could be the divorce still holding all of us back three years after the fact. I can see what you're saying though and sometimes kids don't know how to process things so they just don't process them and that leaves them getting the way my kids are: frustrated and angry.

4. Could it be possible that it's other people holding onto the false structure? I have people tell me that my kids can't possibly grow up right because they don't have a male figure in their lives and that my boys especially must have a male figure or they won't turn out right and that's why I should have stayed with their dad regardless of the drugs and alcohol and cheating. I say that because I don't think I'm holding onto that false structure of family although I often do wish we could be a "normal" family because of the range of disabilities my kids have that is impossible, so maybe it is me and others, or just me. We won't be a normal family and I need to give up that dream for something more realistic, which I think peace is maybe a more realistic dream.

5. I will have to work on creating a new family dynamic as I can see that is a good point you made.

6. Thanks I do need to remember that I am able to get out of bad situations if I need to. That right there takes some strength. People call me strong all the time and I tell them I'm not but maybe I need to believe that a little.

7. I'm actually not interested in a relationship right now, but from what you're saying that might be a mistake. I'm happy being single. I'm still tied down because of the kids but that's ok, at least it's not to a partner.

8. That's interesting that you read it that I'd be doing my best to be joined with another person. I have no desire right now to be in another relationship. I don't even know how I'd get into a relationship since I don't really go anywhere. I do have accounts online but so far nothing has worked out.

9. YES! I often do wish I could have run away from it all but of course I can't I choose to stay because I love these little people. What you said between choosing to stay rather than being forced to stay makes sense.

10. I'm glad you think it means everything will work out in the end. That's the impression I'm getting too although maybe not the way I expect it to.

Thank-you heaps CelticNoodle!

Your reading seems to be a little more hope-filled than mine. I'm still learning the cards and usually use oracle decks for big questions but I decided I wanted to do the whole tree of life thing to see if we couldn't get somewhere.

1. With card number 1, I am battling many issues at once. The kids aren't violent for the hell of it, they have disabilities which lead them to be so. They are in mental health programs with good counselors. I will continue to fight, but yes I would like help, so I can see that reading as accurate.

2. You could be right there. I do know I need to be calmer in the face of what they are doing. The book that came with the cards however talks about how their three of wands was designed the way it was to indicate the Trinity for divine intervention.

3. Yes I am going to be asking my cards how to make my children feel safe and secure. I'm also doing readings about their feelings and what their lives are needing.

4. There certainly is extreme frustration and weariness. But I want to beat it so bad and I'm hoping I can figure out how. I'm already seeing a counselor and the thing that is frustrating is I am in counseling and my kids are in special programs and have been in and out of hospitals and one will be going to a long term hospital for extra help and I feel like I'm doing all that I can and things are still bad.

5. Definitely trying to see what other options are available to me and counseling helps some with that. I feel that the hanged man also shows I am out of options, that was a good way to put it.

6. I'm glad you see this as a good card. I find that very interesting. You're right I'm certainly not closing my eyes to what is going on and I know there are issues that we need to work out.

7. I am getting help with this from a counselor, friends, and my priest.

8. Yes it is affecting every area of my life and this was a very insightful interpretation for me. I didn't read the card that way so that's interesting and makes so much sense.

9. I do have a few people I can confide in and get fresh ideas from.

10. Thanks I feel like things will take time too but I didn't see that in the reversed sun card so that's interesting and makes so much sense because stuff like this isn't fixed overnight.

Thank-you so much for your help.