You are sounding desperate
First, I can tell you what I did some three decades ago. I signed up for a course with Jeff Mayo of the Faculty of Astrological Studies in London. This correspondance course was based on his book and that of Margerate Hone. Now, there are US courses you can take, and there are lots of books you can use by themselves. One great series that may be still available is that by Noel Tyl who is a fabulous and inspirational writer. This was a series of 12 paperbacks that covered a portion of astrological learning and practice.
For practical purposes you will want to find more modern books that are easily available in local stores today. You may have to buy several books, one on each topical area, or you may find one or two books that cover most of the topics I am going to list.
Topics of Study:
** The meaning of the planets (without signs or houses or aspects).
** Planets in Signs
** Planets in Houses
** Planets in Aspect
** The natal chart; how its constructed and calculated.
** Basic natal chart interpretation with a couple of examples
** A subscription to the Mountain Astrologer as well as picking up copies of
any paper magazines like Horoscope, etc. These are a little trashy in some cases but they often have columns that answer questions and give chart interpretations.
** Attend seminars, as many as you can.
** Find others who are interested in astrology and start a study group. I did that and ended up with over 20 people who met every week for seven years. Several are well known names today.
You will need to read all of this material, and create some fifty or more charts in the process. After several months you will have a basic understanding of a natal chart. Only after that can you go on to more advanced chart work and start to learn progressions, mid-points, synastry/compatibility, solar and lunar returns and some dozen or so other disciplines. At that point you will know a reasonable amount about astrology, will have cast several hundred charts and interpreted them, and will probably have 100 to 200 books. I'm not trying to overwhelm you, I'm just pointing to a path that many follow and experience to one degree or another. That's why its so hard to find a lot of fully capable astrologers on any Internet list. Once we reach that point we are often engaged in a professional practice or in writing. I choose not to practice. I've got too many other things I am also interested in. But, you will need to do a lot of work IF YOU NEED TO GO THE FULL DISTANCE. You can always stop at any point. Dave.