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Why would you want to know if some one is gay?

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stella01904's Avatar
stella01904  stella01904 is offline
Join Date: 07 Oct 2004
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Originally Posted by closrapexa
A problem that it it is important that you must pick up on?
MM ~ It's not a "problem" and the sexuality of other people is not my business. Period.
If someone wants you to know, they'll let you know. It may come up in the context of the reading, like this:
You: "There's someone who has been harassing you"
Client: "Yes, my neighbor makes problems because I'm gay"
But it is not something you are expected to "pick up on" as a reader. You are not there to out anyone.
BB, Stella
Top   #51
DarkElectric's Avatar
DarkElectric  DarkElectric is offline
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The only reason I could see for such a question is to make sure the reader uses the appropriate pronoun in the case of a possible love interest, in order to avoid offending the sitter.

I would think that a reader would lose their cred with the client , and possibly anger them as well, if they proceed to tell a lesbian that the man she's been waiting for all her life is finally here, because the Knight of Cups comes up, and they don't realise this represents a woman. Or to suggest to a gay man that he's finally met "Miss Right". Oh yeah.

I don't even use She/He in readings anymore. I use gender neutral, such as "special someone" or "relationship potential". I feel that it's none of my business whether or not someone is straight or gay. As MeeWah said, love has no gender.
Top   #52
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Shade  Shade is offline
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I always play the pronoun game. I say "I think you are attracted to a person who" or "I see someone who is very". To me, the Queen of Swords can be a man or a woman.
Top   #53
Alyssajones  Alyssajones is offline
Join Date: 05 Sep 2005
Location: Devon England
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I have a large group of friends who are very sexually open minded and in some cases sexually perverse (I've used this term to mearly indicate that the're certainly not the norm rather than they are ill-minded or doing something that is wrong). However within these circles it can be difficult to be honest and open with a new partner about desires and often i get asked to do a horse shoe spread to indicate the best way to tell someone their preferences under the duvet.

In this case I have no problem with reading for them, and yes there are cards that i look out for that for relationships in this case may have a less than typical meaning. For example, the devil which can mean a sexually dominiant partner and bondage can be a good thing for some! and it can come up as a signifier.

The Hanged man can indicate someone viewing things from a different perspective, and again bondage.

and so on and so forth.

I've also had people ask what they may gain and lose from having a night of bi-curiousity, as well as coming out and admiting they're gay or that they like dressing up in womens clothing (find a card that indicates that).

One man who asked for a career spread, to find out what job they were best suited to...had an outcome card of the queen of swords, and i said the're is a stong minded business women who is already in your life that you need to learn from or a woman that may become your business partner. He laughed and said he was seriously considering becoming a Drag Queen.

so although I can see no need to know if someone is gay (other than causing offence by assuming one way or the other) i can see a need to see the challenges and excitement of taking the plunge and sharing your preferences with others, and by exploring some of the many differences between ones sexuality to understand ourselves better.
Top   #54
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WalesWoman  WalesWoman is offline
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The only reason... other than not to embarrass myself or some other... would be if you have the hots for someone... who may not prefer your type. It would spare a lot of mixed feelings and misunderstandings... not end up feeling foolish or creating a uncomfortable situation.

My roomate and I worked for a really nice hunky guy... we were both ga-ga over him, ends up he lived just above us in our apartment house, so we'd go up to visit him and his roomate and flirt madly with him. We didn't have a phone and they let us use theirs, if we got a call, they'd stomp on the floor and we'd run up...
so imagine my surprise and shock, when I came up to get the phone and found them kissing and making out on the couch.

I'd never known anyone "gay" before... so had been missing all the hints and clues.
They couldn't think of how to let us know they were gay, so ... showed us instead.
Top   #55
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ArcanoMáximo  ArcanoMáximo is offline
Join Date: 12 Apr 2005
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Why would you want to know if some one is gay?
Well, as Tarot Reader "i have to" when i have clients making the question and if i wanna remain being professional, even when perhaps i need to admit them that i'm not sure if the cards are only indicating just a tendency (many ppl is really "bi" after all, believe it or not), or that is only having fantasies but not having real sex with same gender mates. I can't say they are "Gays" if they aren't having proper sex, cause at least for me you can "think gay" but act "straight", so what are you then?
For me is a very interesting question to study with Tarot, every one here speaks of Ethic, but i'm not sure about the ethic with which as Tarot reader i should act, cause when i decided be a Tarotist i took the responsibility of always try to say the Truth above all, that's my main duty!
Originally Posted by tarotbear
I feel sorry for men who got married and had kids and then in their 40s decided to stop "living the lie." So many people will get hurt by that action.
I agree. That's why i said to my family and friends that i'm gay and never have been with a woman, cause for me is not only a "nature" issue, but mainly an assumed decision and position. Even so i don't feel sorry for that men, i'm always more concerned by the kids and their wives. Isn't fair to them!
That's why if some one ask i'll answer if the cards are saying it!
Top   #56
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gregory  gregory is offline
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I think you are rather missing the point, AM. When someone asks you about a relationship issue it is about a relationship. It makes no difference at all what sex the other person is. A relationship is something that exists between two people. It may be a friendship or something more - but whatever it is, the issues are not what gender person you fell in love with - for instance - but the fact that you have fallen in love with someone. I think one could do a reading perfectly well for someone who you didn't even know the SEX of. I'm sure there are people who read on line for others they know nothing about - including their gender. I know I have received such readings - and they were spot on. (well, one wasn't but the bits that weren't had nothing to do with relationships or sex.)

If there is something in the reading which doesn't make sense to the person you read for, they can ask, and at that point they may wish to share their sexuality with the reader. If not - it is none of the reader's business. As one excellent person said once: "the state has no place in the bedrooms of the nation." Nor does the reader, unless invited.
Top   #57
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ArcanoMáximo  ArcanoMáximo is offline
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Well, excuse me Gregory, but i think that is you who is missing the point.
The question of this thread is
"Why would you want to know if some one is gay?"
and i was just answering that.
I don't agree with you here cause when someone ask me about a relationship issue it is only about a relationship depending of the context in which the question is asked. It might make a lot of difference what sex the other person is, for sure. But obviously is just in my experience, perhaps you haven't had to answer that yet.
Top   #58
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gregory  gregory is offline
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No - I stick to my view. I answered the question - why would you want to know if someone is gay ? - in that, to do a reading, my view is that you wouldn't need to - so wanting to know would just be curiosity. Now, if you were planning to enter into a relationship with them, of course you want - and need - to know. That is a whole different issue.

When I make a new friend, I don't ask about their sexuality. Occasionally there may be something that will puzzle me, which might be explained by it - but until they choose to share that with me, it is not my place to ask. If I wanted to take things further in terms of a lovers relationship - only then would it be an appropriate question out of the blue. I think the same is true of a reader.
Top   #59
Moongold  Moongold is offline
Join Date: 08 Jun 2002
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Because society is predominently heterosexual it is easy to make assumptions about another's sexuality. And it is not surprising that some heterosexual people feel uncomfortable dealing with anything different.

It would be wonderful to have a society where people expect and welcome diversity and therefore would feel comfortable using non-gendered language or in simply asking for clarification if they think it is important. There are ways of doing this which are not offensive. I think that is what we should aim for.

Top   #60


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