5 of Pentacles as why someone let me down

[autumn star]

I had two situations with two different people who both kind of let me down.

The first is that I was meant to go on a date with a guy who is a friend of a friend, everything was all organised and seemed fine he told my friend that he liked me and was the person who initiated the date, and then on the day of the date he said that he couldn't make it, completely out of the blue saying he was too busy and I never heard from him again. I did a reading to ask why he cancelled and got the 5 of Pentacles.

The second situation is that I was trying to get into contact with an old friend who had told me in the past to call her to catch up some time, so I did get into contact with her and she said that she would call me back to arrange a time etc and she never did and I haven't heard from her since, and so I asked the cards why she never called me back and got the 5 of Pentacles again.

I have been thinking about the 5 of Pentacles and these situations and trying to figure it out and two ideas came to mind- either these people wanted to shut me out, in the cold, like the people outside the church. Or were these people feeling a bit miserable and stressed in their own lives and didn't feel like being sociable at that time. I did both of the readings with the Robin Wood deck

Any ideas?

 

[nisaba]

Perhaps *you* were feeling a little Five Pentacles, at least in your self-esteem, and they subconsciously picked up on it and ac ted as if it would be okay to disappoint you because you seemed to be expecting it anyway?

I'm *not* saying they did it deliberately - but I *do* know people tend to treat me as I feel I deserve to be treated, from day to day, without even being aware that their treatment of me changes.

 

[willowfox]

The 5 pents suggests the person just wants out, so in a date situation, they just don't feel like getting involved.

 

[MariaPeea]

I think it means a different thing for either situation. So, with the date, he either thought about it more and decided he wasn't interested enough to continue, or, it's possible he actually has a little bit of a confidence issue and got cold feet in that respect. Like he was like 'she's not gonna like me so whats the point', hence the out-of-the-blueness. But if you really want to know, i'd pull more cards.

With your friend, when people do that they usually just dont care enough. It's not that she doesnt like you, it's just that at the time seeing you wasn't enough of a priority for her to put the effort in.

 

[Starshower]

Maybe the guy had money issues, & simply couldn't afford to pay to treat you as he had hoped. (Men so often value / de-value themselves in financial terms, & assume we do too!) So: lack of confidence, cold feet, down on himself???

With your friend too, it was probably more about HER issues than 'wanting to shut you out in the cold.' In my experience, self-centered thoughtlessness is far more common than deliberate nastiness of intent.

She prob felt needy, below par etc herself, (5 Pents) with no thrilling successes to impress you with, & therefore not up to it.

Try not to take either person's inadequacy personally. Bon courage! x

 

[starrystarrynight]

One of the first things I think of when I look at the [RWS/clones] Five of Pentacles is that the couple is standing out in the snowstorm, oblivious to the light that is on in the church--so they could go in if they chose to. That often translates (to me) that someone in the situation--in your case the people who flaked out on you--acted out of a personal lack of spirituality in the situation. They were thinking about their situation and what they were going to do about it, but giving little thought to how their actions might affect you or anyone else.

That, of course, leaves you feeling left out...but your "friends" aren't even considering that end of it.

In other words, this is their shortcoming...

 

[Glorimbex]

I'd say that if you're feeling under the weather yourself then the two people might instinctively pass you over, leaving you to your own problems. I'm not saying that's the case, but the cards would indicate that may be the way of things.

Were you looking to them for succour?

I know I've tried to contact old 'friends' or make new ones when I've been feeling down. It's never been that successful.

Try having a 'me' day to break the cycle. My girlfriend will take a day to spoil herself. A table for 1, and a spot of retail therapy.

Hope that helps.

John. x

 

[Thirteen]

Maybe the guy had money issues, & simply couldn't afford to pay to treat you as he had hoped. (Men so often value / de-value themselves in financial terms, & assume we do too!) So: lack of confidence, cold feet, down on himself???

With your friend too, it was probably more about HER issues than 'wanting to shut you out in the cold.' In my experience, self-centered thoughtlessness is far more common than deliberate nastiness of intent.

Nice call, Starshower! I like those interpretations, and I'm in agreement with them. I especially like the "cold feet" pun there

Autumn Star: there is a two-way street in the 5/Pents card. Those out in the cold may feel proud and not wanting to either show their poverty (as SS said, the guy may not have had money, or might have had other issues like no good clothes, etc.), or not want to take charity (meaning the guy may have felt the date was set up as a kind of "throw the lonely schmuck a bone" (might not be at all true, but he may have felt that way).

On the other side is the church, requiring those who enter be humble, grateful and willing to fit in with the community. The generosity may seem "free" but it isn't; there are strings attached. Your friend might have felt charitable toward you until you contacted her. Then she might have learned, for example, that you still read tarot cards, which to her might no longer be acceptable, and so she shut the door.

I agree with Starshower that you shouldn't take either personally. Likely it was their issue, especially as they hadn't the courage to explain or apologize.

 

[WalesWoman]

Read it as "their loss" or they are the real losers here. Perhaps you didn't quite meet their standards of social hierarchy and status... and if they judged you by what you do or don't have financially... who NEEDS them?

Maybe they had painted prettier pictures of themselves and their lives that differed greatly from what is true and found themselves at a loss, so passed on the opportunity rather than exposing themselves.

 

[autumn star]

Thankyou for all of your responses! They are all so insightful and I can relate to all of them in different ways

With the date - I think that the guy does have a few personal issues and he isn't really my type anyway (maybe he picked up on that?) - he is quite materialistic. I did pull another card for why he stood me up and got the 7 of Cups so perhaps he had lots of different things on his mind, or even other women.
And the friend has turned out to be probably not much of a real friend in the end anyway - I do suspect that it had something to do with social hierachy.

It's possible at the time that these things happened that I felt kind of low myself and these two people picked up on that. I have decided not to take it too seriously as it is obviously more about them than it is me because I have not done anything to offend either of these people