5 of swords in a relationship's needs

[wind]

I was doing a spread and 5 of swords came up as in "what a relationship needs".

In such cases I am always a bit confused - is it about NOT fighting, getting the upper hand? Or that we need to fight for the relationship?

Any comments most welcome!

 

[mollymawk]

Put down the swords, be honest, and work it out as peacefully as possible?

 

[Rosanne]

What the relationship needs is neither party to put their own interests above the other. No self indulgence! I agree it is hard to put this card to work in a relationship, so in itself it shows 'accepting your limitations' as well. ~Rosanne

 

[temperlyne]

It could indicate a need for both partners to look really hard at this relalationship and what is not working. Stare the difficulties and possible disappointments in the face and be real honest about your expectations. Maybe this relationship isn't as rewarding as it might seem and it can be fairer to both of them to realise that so that they can choose to work on the flaws or except that this is not a relationship that will last in the future.

 

[Thirteen]

I'd say the relationship needs to avoid one-upmanship. Especially verbal battles (arguments) where one side tries to pove they are smarter or cleverer than the other.

 

[wind]

Thank you for your inouts, they all make sense!
I guess it is about not having the upper hand, this is truly an issue in this relationship, that one has the upper hand on the other.

 

[WalesWoman]

Ok, it makes me wonder about the upper hand part...since usually the one holds onto 3 Swords, and the other two are discarded or broken, could one party be holding on to all the hurts and disappointments, using them to make the other feel guilty, thus driving them away?

Or that because they hold onto them, the other can never get past it, there is no forgive and forget because the other is always holding it against them.

 

[ana luisa]

It could be suggesting that each should apply and invest and EQUAL amount of effort and energy into the relationship and stand their ground as to opinions and tastes. Healthy arguments sometimes may spice up a relationship...