OK – I’ve pulled out and dusted down my little used Buckland Romani and here’s my take. I know you’ve got this deck and have the images in front of you but not everybody has it and as I primarily use the images on the cards I have given a brief description in an attempt to set out my thinking. I have to confess I’m so rusty with this deck that I did read everyone else’s views and your subsequent comments too. I note that you haven’t really known him very long and I freely admit my reading is coloured by this fact…..
You as the Hierophant – the image is of a blacksmith shoeing a horse: I think this indicates your determination to define the relationship – “get some shoes” on it, so you can “see where it’s going”/“get a grip” on it. As I understand it, you can’t shoe a horse until it’s ready or you risk damaging its feet.
Him as 6 Swords – here we have a horse pulling a wagon up a steep, snow-covered incline Six knives are embedded in the back of the wagon, as if someone’s attacked it before it set off: perhaps a past unhappy relationship that makes him extremely cautious now? At least the horse doesn’t seem panicked as it’s keeping to the well-worn route along the cart-track, but it could probably do without the excitement! I think this indicates that he is prepared to take the whole thing steadily as long as no nasty surprises are sprung on him, but he’s got an uphill battle on ground that could turn icy without warning. It’s asking quite a lot of him.
The foundation for your relationship is the Hermit. Here apparently someone on guard duty during the night, using his lamp to light the environment. I feel you have important things in common but that you’re both carefully guarding your inner selves against intrusion until you’re absolutely sure you can “let your guard down”.
The recent past is represented by the 9 Koshes: the image is of a young man sitting beside a wagon whittling a collection of branches into whips. Three are complete and he’s working on the fourth. It’s actually quite a peaceful scene – except he seems to be working in the midday heat. So I see this as the pressure building up in you until you’ve “come to the boil” and need to know where this is going. He’s got his hat on and is keeping his eyes determinedly on his work, so I think you feel he’s been ignoring this aspect of the relationship. My interpretation of this is that he doesn’t feel the need to address the question and is happy to take each day as it comes – not something you appreciate. I note you say “I know we need to have the “big talk” about our future, but neither of us are going to bring it up” – I agree he’s not going to bring it up: because I don’t think it’s occurred to him that such a talk is “needed”.
The 10 Koshes here as the current state of your relationship shows a man walking past the stables having dropped a whip. Only the horse seems to have noticed! So, things are slipping a bit, but I don’t think it’s disastrous. After all, it’s not like the RWS 10 Wands where he’s so bogged down I doubt he can see where he’s going! In fact, the way he’s rubbing his jaw implies that he’s thinking about a better way of carrying the load. Maybe the koshes represent current concerns for either of you – exams, job interviews, family issues perhaps – anything that could detract from the relationship?
In the High Priestess as obstacles you both face, I’ll take the simple route: the image is of an older (grandmotherly) figure smoking her pipe with a baby in her other arm. I think this indicates that you each expect the other to intuitively know what’s going on without having to say much: I guess this runs with others’ comments on lack of communication. It may work for some couples who haven’t known each other long but for many this sort of intuitive and comfortable “silence” takes years of togetherness. The fact that you fee the need to know his intentions towards your relationship would point to the fact that you haven’t achieved this.
Your views regarding the relationship – 5 Chivs. The dominant figure has a sword in his belt and holds two more swords. Two people walk away leaving two swords on the ground. The landscape is frost covered. I feel like you’re ambushing yourself here: You’ve thrown down your swords without a fight and part of you is gloating (judging by the look on his fact) and saying “I told you so!” And I think it’s got something to do with the 3 Swords he’s holding – perhaps a bad experience that’s left you defensive. One figure walks away dejectedly, the other tries an “I don’t really care” swagger I see the first as how you would really feel and the second as the “brave face” you’d put on it if your relationship ended) – the choices in the 2 Swords have apparently been thrown away. As you said yourself – if you don’t communicate you can’t fight: but should you have to fight to communicate?
His views regarding the relationship – the Magician: a female Magician at that! A young beautiful woman adorned in all her finery standing in an archway of red and white roses. Perhaps my favourite card in the deck and probably the main reason I bought it as she features so predominantly on the box. I think he feels it has potential – as usual, she has all the tools/elements available to her. Very enticing. However, she has the whip in one hand and the sword in the other – perhaps sounding a note of caution. The whip could be used to drive the relationship faster than he would otherwise desire and the sword could be used to slice it in two!
Your expectations regarding the relationship: 8 Bolers, where the wheelwright is putting the finishing touches to some wagon wheels. All the preliminary stages of the wheels are complete but now they need finishing – the ironwork to connect them to the wagons needs to be put in place. Looks like it’s turning out to be much harder work than you envisaged. However, this is not something you need to be doing on your own – I would expect the ironwork would to be provided by the smith: so it’s a joint effort. That said, there’s now a requirement on your part to pay attention to detail.
What he expects – Justice. The Romani bears more than a passing resemblance to the traditional Emperor in the way he is sitting and he is sitting listening to two of his subjects: presumably presiding over some dispute between them, so perhaps there is an expectation on his part to be the “authority” in the relationship. I suspect he feels he does not have to justify himself to you and he expects you to take him on face value (his back is to the door of the wagon, maybe protecting his inner world).
Best outcome – the Hanged Man (or rabbit in this case!). The book explains that the Romany do not kill for sport, only for food. What immediately sprang to my mind was that certain foods are deemed to be better when they have been left hanging for a while and are “gamey”. So I look at this card as indicating that things should be left “in suspension”, that it would be better not to rush the issue of what you mean to each other just yet and give things time to settle down. There is also the point that the Romany do not waste anything – in this case that could be seen as experience, should you decide that this is not the relationship for you: if you do decide to move on, take what you can from this relationship and learn from it.
Hope this helps shed some light on the matter!
From the very beginning it seems untenable and unhappy. Sorry to sound so grim myself. There must be something in your future that is much more positive! Have some fun and find it.....quickly.