First of all, I don't do anything elaborate. For myself, I sit quietly and light a few candles and some incense. I like Sandalwood, Honeysuckle, or Lilac. I find that they relax me. Chammomille is always good for that too. Then I just shuffle the cards. As I do I focus on the act of shuffling until I feel centered. Sometimes I can actually feel a sort of POP when all my chakras line up and center. When I feel that the shuffling is done, I hold them between my palms and imagine a bright light traveling from my third eye, down to my heart, down both arms and into my deck. I don't know why I do this, I did it one day and it worked so I continue to do it.
For readings for others, I can't always do the candles and incense, so I shuffle and center and do the light thing. While doing this, I also ask for insight, clarity, and guidance from the Goddess. That is pretty much it. Nothing major, I usually don't have time for elaborate rituals.
As for the female issue, I cannot help you there. Still a little too young for that. But I do understand. I go through the same type of thing once a month (PMS). It really sucks, not only do I have a hard time reading, I am also a royal Bitch. Oh, wait, the not reading part is the bad part, the other part is kind of fun!
Any help is appreciated! JMJ